


Supernatural with a Twist

by Americaschick1



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Am I tagging right?, Bobby is too, F/M, Female Castiel, I don't, I think I know what I'm doing, Just a little collection of one-shots, One-Shots, Protective Dean, Sam Is So Done, Sam and Gabriel ship it, confused cas, fluff mainly, idk honestly, maybe some smut, nope - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-08-11 07:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 45,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7882981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Americaschick1/pseuds/Americaschick1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots from the show, but while exploring a female Castiel, and a few other changes. Purely for fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In The Beginning...

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just going to be a retelling of the show, but with Castiel as female. I think I might change a few things throughout the plot as well. I don't know yet, though. Haven't thought that far ahead to be honest. I don't own Supernatural. All rights go to those guys.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has a beginning. Even angels. This is Castiel's. (Rewriting to fix grammar issues)

She didn’t remember much of her own creation. So many years had passed since then that most of those times were long forgotten. What she did remember was pleasant and comforting and she found herself dwelling on those memories more oft than not. Her first memory was a blindingly, blue light encompassing her vision followed by the most soothing feeling of warmth wash through her no longer formless body. Through the light and warmth, her father’s voice echoed in her mind.

_ “You, celestial being, have been created to be an angel of the Lord. You shall be named Castiel.” _

That was the first and last time Castiel would hear of her father’s voice for a very long time. And once the sound of his voice faded out, Castiel became aware of her surroundings. She was sitting on something green and soft. She looked to her hands, the pale shade of her skin standing out against the background. Her hand glided between the blades of grass, the texture being unlike anything she had experienced before. Plucking a single piece of grass, Cas closed it in her palm, her hand shaking as the rest of her body began to wake. For a moment, she could only see, smell, and touch her surrounding. Her ear drums had yet to open themselves up to receive stimulation. And so Cas settled on feeling and seeing. With a turn of her head upwards, she was met with blue skies that were spotted by only a few, sparse clouds. All around her were plants and creatures she did not understand, yet felt no fear from. That is, until her ears began to work. All sorts of abstract sounds began to filter into the new angel’s ears. Panic sparked in her chest and she lifted her hands over her ears, hoping to block out the assault of noises. Just as her panic began to grow, a new but also soothing voice called out to her.

“Hello, Castiel.” The voice greeted and the angel glanced towards the origin of the sound. A man was approaching her with a bright, almost childish smile resting on his chiseled features. He had brushed back, light brown hair that shimmered a golden hue when the light hit it a certain way. He wasn’t extremely muscular, but he was nowhere near scrawny either. His hazel eyes held a curious fascination and love upon spotting her. The most magnificent feature of this handsome male were six, enormous golden wings that protruded from his back, unhindered by his robes nor the bag draped over his right shoulder. Castiel was both stunned and awed by the sight before her, yet her gaze moved from his wings and to his eyes when he sat down across from her. He offered her a joyous grin when he reached out to her to grab hold of her wrists. He gently lowered her hands from her ears and then just held them as she winced. “It’s okay. Let all the sounds in. It gets easier, I promise.” He assured her, her grip on him tightening immensely. Castiel looked to the man uneasily, afraid that the sounds would only get louder. Instead, they began to soften, as did her grip. The man gave a slight nod. “See?” It was Castiel’s turn to smile, earning a chuckle from the other. “I’m Gabriel, your big brother.” The man, Gabriel, introduced. 

“Gabriel?” Castiel tested the name on her new found voice, resulting in getting a proud smile from her brother.

“Yes, very good. I’m Gabriel and you’re Castiel. You’re an angel, like me.”

“Castiel? Angel?” She questioned. He boosted her confidence in asking questions when he nodded enthusiastically. Cas smiled at Gabriel, but soon found her attention back onto his wings. Stretching forth her arm, Castiel brushed her fingertips over his feathers. Gabriel curled one of his wings forward so it would be easier for her to reach them.

“These are called wings.” He instructed. Castiel looked at the feathers under her palm with a tilt of her head.

“Wings?” 

“Yeah. Wings. You have some too.” He explained. Receiving this news had Cas turning her head to look over her shoulders the best she could. She had been expecting to see six golden wings as well, but what she saw was dark. A single pair of black wings, tinted blue greeted her eyes, shimmering as if sparkling when she moved them. She must’ve had a troubled look on her face, for Gabriel chuckled and turned her head back towards him.

“Your wings are not exactly like mine. No angel has the same wings as another.” Gabriel clarified. “My wings look like the big star called the Sun.” He lifted a hand to gesture to the source of light above them, squinting and avoiding looking at it directly. Cas followed his gesture and found herself covering her eyes in result to the blinding brightness. A laugh came from Gabriel. He gently took hold of the sides of her head, guiding it back down. “Don’t stare too long.”

“What mine like?” Cas asked.

“Yours look like the night sky when it is littered with stars, which is just as pretty.” He smiled lovingly and Cas returned the expression. Though, her smile fell into a pout soon after with her brows furrowing.

“Brother, what I look like?” Gabriel pulled her closer until she was sitting in his lap safely. 

“Well, you are very pretty Cassie. You have black hair with small curls at the ends.” He described, running a hand through her thick, yet short locks. Castiel lifted her head a bit, trying to see his hand on top of her head as he continued. “Your eyes are very blue. Like the oceans on Father’s new planet and they sparkle just like your wings. And your wings,” Gabriel blew out a breath in awe. “Your wings are very unique. I have a good feeling about your wings, Cassie.” He told her, giving her a sweet hug. She blushed softly, but she was still smiling. A short heartbeat later, Gabriel was reaching into the bag he brought. “Here, put this on.” He instructed as he removed a robe that looked similar to his own. Castiel looked to the cotton material briefly then lifted her arms above her head so Gabe could slip the robe over her head. “Come on, let’s stand up.” Castiel slid off his lap, allowing him to get to his feet. He then reached down to her, taking hold of her hands to assist her feet. He kept her there until she was used to the feeling and once she could he let her hands go. She wobbled for a moment, but was soon steady. She smiled at him and he smiled right back. “Wonderful!” He complimented, earning a giggle from the fledgling. “You seem pretty much ready to meet the others.” Castiel’s smile fell instantly.

“Others?” She asked hesitantly. Gabriel gave her a sympathetic smile and reached out to her. Placing his hands under her armpits, he lifted her into his arms and held her close to him. 

“Yes, our brothers and sisters.” Castiel wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Have more?” 

“Oh yeah. A butt load more.” He joked, turning around back the way he came from. Cas nuzzled her face into his shoulder, her eyes gazing back at everything that had been around her. And now, right in the spot where she was created stood a collection of beautiful flowers. Daffodils, daisies, protean flowers, and a single green rose in the middle of all the other flowers. Her eyes danced between all of the colors until a small, buzzing creature zig-zagged around her. Castiel turned her head to try and follow its path only to watch it land on the rose. 

“Brother, where are we?” Castiel asked softly, her rapid progression evident at her ability to speak in full sentences. Gabriel glanced over at her, impressed by this.

“We are in Eden, Castiel. Father’s Garden.” Castiel smiled at the yellow and black creature that was on the rose, deciding almost instantly that she liked this creature. And that she wanted to come back here with her brother as often as she could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel decided that she did not like being the center of attention as soon as it was on her. All her brothers and sisters seemed so curious about her, all having mixed reactions. Some were excited, and others were put off by the darkness of her wings. Still, a group formed around her and Gabriel, everyone wanting to see their new little sister. A subtle whimper came from the fledgling and she tightened her arms around Gabe’s neck, burying her face in him to hide from everyone. Gabriel, being the big, protective softie he not so secretly was, quickly got the group to disband as to stop frightening her. All moved away until only Anna, Michael, Lucifer, Rachel, Balthazar, Zachariah, and Raphael remained. Though to Cas, that was still too many. As she got talking to them, opening up and feeling more comfortable, Castiel began to like Anna and Lucifer very much. Besides Gabriel, those two became her favorite siblings. The others felt too formal, authoritative, cold. Well, except Balthazar. So when time progressed as it does, Castiel found herself under the wing of those three angels. Anna thought very differently than the others, and Cas liked listening to her talk. About anything and everything. Lucifer was fun to follow. He liked playing jokes on the other angels. He taught her his tricks and even a little bit of rebellion. And Gabriel….Gabriel was the one she learned the most from. He taught her to fly, about her powers, and what it meant to be an angel. Unfortunately, she had to spend time with Michael so he could teach her about her grace, how to fight, and the proper way to act. The last one she tried her best to do, wanting approval of the others. So much of Castiel was taken from her peers as she observed them and copied their actions. It took millennia for her to start doing things that only she did. Her love of bees, for example, was something she got from no one else. And flowers. She developed a love for the flowers that were blue or green, and she got to see them when Gabriel would take her down to Earth on their frequent visits.

It wasn’t a particularly special day that the course of the most significant events were set in motion. It was just another trip to Earth with Gabriel, only this time Michael had come along. This was strange to the angel, for he had never done so before. He always seemed too busy. But here he was, walking along the beaches with Gabriel and her. The two Archangels had been chatting since they arrived, making Cas feel a little left out. She walked ahead of them, watching her feet make marks in the sand when she stumbled upon a very weird sight. A strange looking fish, the likes of which Cas had never seen before, was heaving itself up onto the beach. It was such an unusual looking creature that Castiel just couldn’t help herself from approaching it. Castiel crouched in front of it, tilting her head some side to side as she examined it. She moved a finger to it so she could touch it, nearly squeaking at the cold, slimy texture. She pulled her hand back quickly, both she and the fish jumping in surprise at the action. Though the fish jumping brought a smile to her face and a giggle from her mouth. She began to poke it repeatedly, occasionally running her finger along the fish. After a moment, Castiel straightened up and lifted a foot to stop on it. Why? She didn’t know. It just seemed like something Lucifer would encourage of her, so she was going to squish it. 

“Hey now!” Michael’s voice caught her off guard. “Don’t step on that fish, sister She quickly moved her previously outstretched arms for balance behind her back, and turned so she wouldn’t step on the fish. Unfortunately, this threw off her balance and she fell to the sand. A soft ‘umph’ resonated from Castiel when her small frame collided with the ground in a quiet thud. She pouted guiltily as she looked up to her brothers from the ground. They both were chuckling and smiling at her and the fish. “Big plans for that fish. Big plans.” Michael informed her as Gabriel assisted her back to her feet. He brushed the sand off of her body as she continued to stare at the fish.

“Big plans?” She asked. She felt both of her hands be taken by each brother and now she looked up at them. They were smiling down at her.

“Yes, big plans.” Confirmed Gabriel as they resumed walking away from the special fish. Castiel looked over her shoulder back towards the important creature, wondering just what could be so special about something so tiny and gross looking. “Come, father has called us all back home.” With just the sound of flapping wings left behind them, the angels left Earth to return home. And just in time to hear that father had called them all together. Castiel learned that day why the fish was so special, and that Lucifer did not like this fish nor these humans at all.


	2. Lazarus Rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I had wanted this one to be longer than the first, but that didn't turn out that way. Oh well. I'll save the good stuff for future chapters when we have more Dean/Cas screen time later in the seasons/series.

Humans were absolutely confusing creatures. After Lucifer’s rebellion, and father’s order to protect the humans before leaving, the angels didn’t really have much else to do. Other than prepare with Michael to stop Armageddon, the angels spent their time working on other planets while Castiel’s garrison was assigned to watch and patrol Earth. Spending time watching over them, Castiel began to notice how different the same creatures were. At times, she understood Lucifer’s rage towards them, as some of this were vile and awful to others of their own race. But more times than not she noted the simple acts that fought against the evil of her brother. Humans tried to be kind, to learn and forgive, to do better. It was truly a wonder to behold. Castiel truly enjoyed watching Earth, and in many cases she enjoyed it more than she did her home. There were monsters on this planet, and for a long time, Castiel saw no hope for these new creations. But the humans surprised and confused her once again as a few began to stand together to fight the creatures they couldn’t possibly beat. Hunters, they called themselves and it was a fitting name. Castiel didn’t particularly enjoy observing the Hunters. Most of the time she found them slow, and rather sure of themselves after every hunt. Then one would get killed and they’d go after that monster and kill, then the cycle would start once again. Castiel preferred watching their young. The children were absolutely kind, selfless, innocent, and over all happy. They seemed much like her own race some of the time, and she felt at home to watch them play. 

She had been at a playground in the southern region of Greece when the call came to her. It was the year 2008 A.D. when the news of the big plan being started was shared to the angels. Castiel, having been more familiarized with humans compared to the other angels, was tasked to take a legion of angels to Hell and rescue the human soul of Dean Winchester. He was the key piece, the only one who could stop the seals from breaking. They had to get him out before he broke the first seal to the start of the Apocalypse. She wasted no time in getting her troops together and laying siege to Hell. But they were too late. By the time Castiel had reached Dean, he had been torturing other humans for nearly ten years in Hell’s time. Her glowing, battered form pushed through the demons and she saw Dean’s soul turn to her. She rushed forward, wrapping an arm around Dean and holding him close against her chest. Her other hand held out her angel blade, fighting back the demons coming at them while literally dragging a struggling Dean away from them. She had to get them out of here, and fast. And so, Castiel tightened her hold on Dean then fully opened her wings to rocket themselves out of Hell. She didn’t mean to burn him, but she had to lay claim to his soul. It was the only way she was getting him out fully. He was apparently a very popular person there. She would’ve appeared at his grave sight when he had resurfaced, but she had remembered that humans could not witness an angel’s true form without combusting after that woman had burned her eyes out from spying upon that form. That and she was rather weak from her battles in Hell. She needed to find a vessel, and quickly before Dean Winchester did something that got him killed again. Castiel had been warned by her superiors that the Winchesters had a habit of dying. 

It didn’t take a surprising amount of time to find someone who she could act through and would allow her in. Jamie Novak was a simple woman and she looked similar to how Castiel truly looked, so she would satisfy. Once her vessel was taken, Castiel would not admit that she had lost track of Dean for a brief moment. It wasn’t until she had been summoned that she had relocated him. It took a moment to fly there, but now Castiel stood before a large, weathered barn. Castiel felt the winds pick up around her, slamming into the barn and lifting parts of it only to drop them back into place. She approached the door of the barn, the lights inside shattering, blowing out in her presence. She did secretly have a thing for dramatic entrances, and what better way to display her superiority over the humans. The wooden bar that had held the door locked in place snapping apart easily, opening up for her to enter. The lights continued to burst as Cas walked into the barn leisurely, glancing around at all the symbols and traps that had been painted onto the walls and floor. They looked rather recent, leading her to believe that Dean and the elderly man she knew to be named Robert Singer had put them up when they had gotten here. Castiel let her eyes fall onto the men, namely Dean, and she increased her walking speed to get to him faster. The shots of rock salt did nothing to slow her, but she found their efforts noteworthy. The men shared a look and Dean moved closer to one of the two tables in the room. He had set his shotgun down and turned back to find her standing before him. He stepped away some, but she felt no offense. 

“Who are you?” He asked. Castiel noted the difference in his voice compared to when she had heard it in Hell. On Earth, it was clearer, less garbled but was deeper and more firm than back in the pit. He didn’t look all that different either, apart from no longer being covered in dirt and blood. Observations aside, Castiel gave him a soft, respectful look.

“I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” She explained evenly, making it simple for the human mind to understand. Dean only gave a very small head nod, not taking his gaze from her own.

“Yeah. Thanks for that.” He stated and a slight curve in the corner of Castiel’s mouth formed. The slight smile stayed there, but lost its warmth when Dean moved forward and plunged the demon killing knife right below her collarbone. When nothing happened, as nothing would, Dean looked between the knife and her face, letting go of the blade’s handle. He took a step back, his eyes wide from surprise. Castiel also lowered her gaze to the knife, but returned it to Dean’s when she gripped the blade. She pulled it from her body then let it simply drop to the floor, Castiel not even batting an eye. The two stared for a moment longer until Dean looked behind her and Cas felt a change of movement. Without looking, she reached back and caught the iron crowbar that the elder had swung at her. She turned to the man, still holding the crowbar with her right hand, with a stolid expression. Lifting her left, she placed two fingers against his forehead to place the man in a deep sleep. She observed the body fall to the ground for a few moments, amused by the weakness of mortals, then turned back to Dean.

“We need to talk, Dean.” Castiel spoke softly. She glanced to the body once more. “Alone.” Seeing as the Hunter was rather concerned about his friend, she stepped aside and moved to a table to look through a book she found upon it. Only skimming through it, Cas spoke up to Dean as he checked the elder’s pulse. They did need to have a conversation after all so he could get the message sent for him. “Your friend’s alive.” She assured him, turning a page of the book.

“Who are you?” Dean asked once again, his voice enraged even.

“Castiel.”

“Yeah, I figured that much. I meant what are you?” The attitude was something she was warned about as well, but it was still rather interesting to hear a human sass her. She lifted her eyes to meet Dean’s again. 

“I’m an angel of the Lord.” Castiel stated. The look on Dean’s face was not one she was honestly expecting. He didn’t look as if he believed her but also as if something clicked for him at the same time that he refused to acknowledge. He slowly stood from his previous kneeling position, his body rigid.

“Get the hell outta here.” He grumbled. Castiel’s brows to crease slightly. “There’s no such thing. She walked away from the book and the table, knowing she was going to need to display a form of proof for him without driving him insane nor burning him where he stood.

“This is your problem Dean. You have no faith.” She spoke before summoning flashes of lightening to show him the shadows of her wings. He had flinched at the flashes of light, but his eyes darted between both shadows, unsure how to process what he was seeing before him. The two shared tense looks while she allowed Dean to gather the words he needed. An unknown look passed over Dean’s features.

“Well some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman’s eyes.” Castiel sighed and moved away, her shoulders dropping slightly.

“I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be...overwhelming to humans and so can my true voice, but you already know that.”

“You mean the gas station and the motel?” Dean listed the incidents correctly. “That was you talking?” She gave a nod in response. The human scoffed. “Buddy, next time lower the volume.” Castiel looked down guiltily.

“It was my mistake.” She lifted her eyes back to him. “Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong.” Dean nodded with pursed lips.

“And what visage are you in now, huh? A holy secretary?” He asked. Castiel looked down at her body, her hands moving to the opened flaps of the trench coat. Jamie had been wearing a sort of business suit. A white button-up shirt was tucked into a black pencil skirt, a blue tie hanging around her neck. Above these was a black suit coat to match the skirt. Stockings were down the lengths of her legs with black, cleaned heels on her feet.

“This? This is a vessel.” She explained. That didn’t seem to go over well for Dean.

“You’re possessing some poor bastard?” He asked hostilely.

“She is a devout woman. She actually prayed for this.” Dean still wasn’t sated. 

“Look pal, I’m not buying what you’re selling. So who are you really?” It was Castiel’s turn to be confused. Had she not explained who she was to him? Given him proof?

“I told you.”

“Right.” He grunted. “And why would an “angel” rescue me from Hell?” Something passed in Dean’s eyes that caused Cas to narrow her own and step closer to try to pinpoint what emotion it was.

“Good things do happen, Dean.” Cas walked closer and Dean looked down to her.

“Not in my experience.” The look returned to his eyes but stayed this time. She squinted her eyes further.

“What’s the matter?” She asked, searching his emotions for the answers. It took a few seconds, but Castiel finally found the center of his lack of belief in her. “You don’t think you deserve to be saved.” Dean scoffed some, trying to rebury his emotions.

“Why’d you do it?” Castiel changed from almost pitying to a determined, serious look.

“Because God commanded it.” She spoke, her voice firm with her resolve. “Because we have work for you.” A conflicted and rather alarmed Dean stood before her now. Her first meeting with Dean Winchester in the flesh was something that didn’t go exactly as she had planned, but she would soon find that many of their other meetings and talks would be much of the same way. Had Castiel known of what was to come, she would most likely have either returned to Heaven and request that someone else be the Winchesters’ guardian, left completely, or taken Dean to Heaven to keep him safe from all that pain, sorrow, betrayal, and utter hopelessness that he would feel these next two years. All because of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first episode of season four is depicted here. I'm going to skip ahead again to some other episodes in the next "one-shot".


	3. Lucifer Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean prepare for the apocalypse in different ways. Ruby, Lilith, Castiel and Zachariah appear. Dean confuses Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Supernatural Season 4 episode 22, Lucifer Rising re-telling.

So much had happened to Castiel in the short span of a single human year, that she knew she was the not the same angel who had saved Dean from Hell. Dean. A stubborn, arrogant, and snarky human male who had taught her what it meant to be human. He refused to let even one person die for the sake of the greater picture. It had baffled her. A few thousand people were nothing compared to six billion others, yet here he was, refusing to take the easy road and saving a town. True it broke a seal, but in the end, Dean had been in the right. He taught her about free will, that everyone had a choice. That they could be their own person. Such a concept was totally foreign to an angel who was built just like the others. To have unwavering faith, obey orders, and never question those orders. Dean had changed that part of her as well. In fact, there was little of the old Castiel that remained inside her. But Heaven had gotten ahold of her just as she discovered something that could put a stop to all of this. The master plan, all of it.

The persuasion of Heaven’s prisons were enough to warrant her obedience back to their cause. They made her back to what she had been previously, simply obeying and being seen, not heard. She was supposed to have loyalty to Dean and his brother, but Heaven had stripped her of that as well. After being sent to receive Dean’s pledge to the host of Heaven, even though she desperately wanted him to keep fighting against them, Castiel reported to Zachariah. A short amount of time passed before she was sent to deliver Dean to a safe place.

“Hello, Dean.” She greeted, but when he turned to look at her, she lowered her gaze for just a moment. “It’s almost time.” She offered him no other answers, and simply transported the both of them to the safe room. She then left to report to Zachariah, who ordered her to accompany him as he spoke with Dean. Upon her return, Castiel noticed the food and drink that had been summoned for said man, who seemed uneasy about the whole thing if she were being honest. As he should be. Castiel stood tall and rigid behind Zachariah, not speaking or moving.

“Hello Dean. You’re looking fit.” Zach commented, earning a breathy, almost sarcastic chuckle from Dean as he placed the beer he had lifted back into the ice bucket.

“Well how about this? The sweet life of Zach and Cas.” He replied. Neither angel understood his reference. “It’s a...nevermind.” Dean mumbled once he realized he had confused the two angels. “So what is this? Where the hell am I?”

“Call it a green room. We’re closing in on the grand finale here. Want to keep you safe for show time.” Zach had walked forward to Dean as he spoke, but Cas stayed firmly planted where she was. “Try a burger.” He offered, picking up one of the paper wrapped sandwiches and holding it to him. “They’re your favorite. From that seaside shack in Delaware. You were eleven, I think.” Dean didn’t take the food.

“I’m not hungry.”

“No?” Zach placed the burger back down. “How about Ginger, from season two of Gilligan's Island? You do have a thing for her don’t you?” This caught a reaction from the human that Castiel had seen. He seemed to consider the offer for just a brief second.

“Tempting. Weird.”

“We’ll throw in Mary Ann for free.” Stated Zach. Dean’s response was quicker this time.

“No. No. Bail on the holodeck, okay? I wanna know what the plan is.” Dean started to sound like the human Castiel had come to know. Zachariah was quiet as he looked him over.

“Let us worry about that. We want you focused, relaxed.” He spoke smoothly.

“Well,” Dean started, “I’m about to be pissed and leaving. So, start talking Chuckles.” Zachariah took a deep breath in through his nose, nodding slightly with his head lowered. His patience seemed to be wearing thin.

“All the seals have fallen.” He informed him as he walked around the Winchester. “Except one.”

“That’s an impressive score. That’s right up there with the Washington Generals.”

“You think sarcasm is appropriate, do you? Considering you started all this?” Asked Zach as he turned back to look at Dean. Castiel could not seen Dean’s face from where she stood, but she doubted it was a pleasant one. “The final seal…” Zach trailed off as he pointed to Dean then walked passed him. “...it’ll be different.” He patted him on the shoulder.

“Why?” Dean inquired as he turned around to continue to watch Zachariah as the angel walked.

“Lilith has to break it. She’s the only one who can. Tomorrow night. Midnight.”

“Where?” Dean asked quickly, feeling as though he could stop her.

“We’re working on that.”

“Well, work harder.”

“We’ll do our job. Just make sure you do yours.”

“Yeah and what is that is that exactly? I’m supposed to be the one who stops her. How? With the knife?”

“All in good time.”

“Isn’t now a good time?” Dean’s voice rose a bit as he stared angrily at Zach.

“Have faith.” Assured Zach, but Dean was not comforted.

“What? In you? Give me one good reason why I should.” He requested and Zach’s head tilted a bit. He walked towards Dean, his eyes locked firmly on him.

“Because you swore your obedience.” He reminded as he stood only a few inches from him now. “So obey.” Dean didn’t seem to like this and guilt swept through Castiel. She’s the one that made him swear to the angels. She glanced down for a moment, but returned her gaze to her friend when she saw that his eyes were on her now. She lowered them once again, unable to look him in the eye. Zachariah took his leave of the troublesome human, taking Castiel with him despite her wishing to stay and watch over him. She wasn’t gone for too long, however, when she returned to him just as Dean tapped over an angel statue. As expected, the figure shattered upon impact with the floor.

“You asked to see me.” She spoke, looking down at the ceramic shards as Dean turned to her. He looked to the broken angel as well before clearing his throat.

“Uh, yeah. I, uh, need something.” Castiel spread her arms out slightly.

“Anything you wish.”

“I need you to take me to see Sam.” Of course he would ask this of her. Cas’s shoulders drooped slightly as she looked at Dean.

“Why?”

“There’s something I gotta talk to him about.”

“What’s that?” She asked and Dean shifted a bit, his brows furrowed at her.

“The B.M. I took this morning. What’s it to you?” He asked rather heatedly while he approached her. “Just make it snappy.”

“I don’t think that’s wise.” She admitted as she looked everywhere but Dean.

“Well, I didn’t ask you for your opinion.” Cas resisted the urge to get frustrated.

“Have you forgotten what happened the last time you met?” She inquired, finally returning her blue eyes to his green. He held a look she couldn’t quite describe.

“No. That’s the whole point.” He pointed out flatly. When she didn’t say anything, he continued. “Listen, I’m going to do whatever you mooks what, okay? I just need to tie up this one thing. Five minutes. That’s all I need.” Castiel took a subtle breath.

“No.”

Dean leaned back a bit as he looked her over, seeming to assess what was happening with her.

“What do you mean no? Are you saying that I’m trapped here?”

“You can go wherever you want.”

“Super. I wanna go see Sam.”

“Except there.” Cas said, taking a breath through her nose.

“I wanna talk a walk.” Dean requested.

“Fine, I’ll go with you.”

“Alone.”

“No.” She stated more firmly so he could get the point. Dean took a deep breath to calm his quelling emotions.

“You know what? Screw this noise. I’m outta here.” He grumbled and walked around her towards the doors.

“Through what door?” She asked, shifting her form so she was still looking at him. Dean looked back to her in confusion, and that was all the time she needed to remove the doors and replace it with just a simple wall. Dean turned back to look at the doors that were no longer where they should’ve been. Instead there was another eloquent table with a three pronged candlestick atop it. Castiel vanished then, seeing her meeting with Dean finished. But she couldn’t leave it there. When she returned, she stood before him, her expression neutral as Dean looked at his phone.

“You can’t reach him, Dean.” Cas informed him and he froze. “You’re outside your coverage zone.

“What are you gonna do to Sam?” Cas took a step closer to him.

“Nothing. He’s going to do it to himself.” Castiel moved to the far right of Dean, deciding to stay out of arm’s reach. Dean looked at her, his face angry and impatient.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked. Castiel looked down, knowing what was going to happen. But being unable to tell Dean about his brother was hard enough. She didn’t need to see the look on his face that would make her break and tell him everything. “Oh right, right.” He started again and she began to feel like a scolded child in the presence of their father. “You gotta tow the company line.” Dean stood before her and she lifted her line of sight back to him. “Why are you here, Cas?”

“We’ve been through much together, you and I.” She whispered. “And I just wanted to say I’m sorry it ended like this.” Dean looked at her with disbelief.

“Sorry?” He scoffed and seemed to turn away before he reached back and threw a punch to her face. It honestly hurt him more than her physically, as her head just turned some and he most likely fractured his knuckles. She watched him keep his pain hidden from her. “It’s Armageddon, Cas. You’re going to need a bigger word than sorry.” He told her as he looked to her once more.

“Try to understand. This is long foretold. This is your-”

“Destiny?!” Dean interrupted her. “Don’t give me that holy crap. Destiny. God’s plan. It’s all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid, son of a bitch. It’s just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line.” Castiel looked at him, confusion and even a bit of fear rising in her chest. But she could not question them now. She took a shaky breath, trying to decide between her orders and her mind as Dean continued. “You know what’s real? People. Families. That’s real. And you’re going to watch them all burn?”

“What is so worth saving?” Castiel asked, her anger rising as she moved forward. Her breathing was shallow. “I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise all is forgiven. You’ll be at peace.” She tried to explain, tried to get him to understand. “Even with Sam.” A strange look crossed Dean’s eyes and the two stood silently for a moment. Cas had to look away from the intensity in his eyes then returned them to him when he started to speak again.

“You can take your peace, and shove it up your lily white ass.” Dean told her and now it was her turn to be confused. “Cause I’ll take the pain, and the guilt, I’ll even take Sam as is. It’s a lot better than being some stepford bitch in paradise.” Castiel sighed in annoyance. “This is simple, Cas!” His voice rose and Castiel turned away to put some distance between them. “No more crap about being a good soldier. There is a right and there is a wrong here and you know it.” Castiel kept her face away from his, trying desperately to block him out because deep down she knew he was right. Though she wasn’t able to shut him out as he grabbed her shoulder and forcibly turned her to face him again. “Look at me! You know it. You were going to help me once, weren’t you?” He asked and she stiffened, needing to break eye contact with him. “You were going to warn me about all this before they dragged you back to Bible Camp. Now help me, now. Please.” Dean begged of her and she continued to look away. She took another deep breath.

“What would you have me do?” She asked

“Get me to Sam. We can stop this before it’s too late.” Castiel’s breathing quickened.

“I do that, we will all be hunted. We’ll all be killed.”

“If there is anything worth dying for, this is it.”

Castiel stared at him, shaking her head slowly then lowering it once again. He was just a human. How could he understand what needed to be done? Yet, here he was, stirring emotions inside her that she did not think angels were allowed to feel and it frightened her. “You spineless, soulless son of a bitch.” Dean growled at her. “What do you care about dying? You’re already dead. We’re done.” A tight clenching feeling formed in Castiel’s chest and throat.

“Dean-”

“We’re done.” He stated again from the other side of the room as he had walked away from her. She wasn’t sure what else to say. Not that it would’ve mattered. Dean wouldn’t listen anymore. She had to do something. She just did and she knew it to be true. But he was right. She was afraid of them, the other angels. And he should be too. Yet he wasn’t. So she left, her mind clouded with thoughts of uncertainty, and of fear. But now also of, dare she even think it, rebellion. The strength to fight against those stronger than her and maybe even have a chance of winning. She knew, Castiel truly knew what she had to do.

~~~~~~~~~

Castiel appeared behind Dean just as he was about to take a bite of a burger, and grabbed ahold of him. She slammed him against the wall and held him there, her hand flying up to cover his mouth. She pulled out the demon blade from inside her trench coat pocket and locked eyes with him. She was sending him a silent message that she was glad he understood, for he nodded a bit to her. Cassie stepped back now and rolled up one of her sleeves before she dragged the blade across her arm to get out the blood that she needed. She had to work quickly. Once the blood coated her fingers, she began to draw the sigil required on the wall, Dean standing back now. She had been close to finishing when Zachariah caught on and appeared.

“Castiel!” He snapped and she looked to him briefly but resumed finishing the sigil. “Would you mind telling me what the hell you are doing?” He asked as he marched towards her, but he was too late. Castiel placed her bloodied hand in the middle of the sigil and blue light filled the room, sending Zachariah back to Heaven.

“He won’t be gone long.” Castiel told Dean. “We have to find Sam now.” Dean stared at her.

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know, but I know who does. We have to stop him, Dean.” She stated as she gave him the blade. “From killing Lilith.”

“But Lilith is going to break the final seal.” He protested.

“Lilith _is_  the final seal.” Castiel told him. “She dies, the end begins.”

~~~~~~~~

Castiel and Dean may not have known where Sam was, but they did know one man who did. And they wasted no time making it to his home. Now standing in the home of Chuck, the prophet looked to them.

“Wait, this isn’t supposed to happen.” A voice came through the phone Chuck was speaking into. “No no, this is definitely supposed to happen, but I just have to call you back.” With that, he hung up his phone and stared at the two. He stuttered for a moment, sighing. He rushed to his table to gather up some papers, knowing exactly what they were looking for. He passed them over to Dean, and the Hunter scanned through them.

“Saint Mary’s? Isn’t that a convent?” He asked.

“Yeah, but you guys aren’t supposed to be there. You’re not in this story.” Chuck explained.

“Yeah, well, we’re making it up as we go.” Castiel stated, not knowing Dean had raised his head to look at her. A piercing sound to the humans came ringing through the walls and the house began to tremble. A bright light came through the window. Cabinet doors came opened and dishes fell from the shelves. Chuck cried out in protest and Castiel looked to Dean. “It’s the Archangel!” She informed him, having to yell over the noise. “I’ll hold him off. I’ll hold them all off, just stop Sam!” Castiel lifted her hand and placed it on Dean’s forehead, transporting him to his brother. Now alone with the prophet Chuck, Castiel turned towards the window, standing tall. She knew she would not survive this, but if she could give Dean some time it would be worth it. This was worth dying for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already, end of the re-telling of this season. I'm not sure if there will be more than two on the next season. We'll have to see.


	4. Free to be You and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not sure he trusts himself anymore, Sam gives up hunting. Meanwhile, Dean teams up with Cas to find the Archangel Raphael.

Castiel was in way over her head right now. One angel, killed then brought back by God, standing with the Winchesters to defy Heaven, and with no leads on locating her father. Cas was running out of options. The one she did have was not a very good one should she be honest. He was just a mortal man, but he had proven to be more in the past. Maybe he could be so again. Castiel transported herself to Dean’s motel room, appearing right behind him as he was scrubbing blood from his coat. He glanced up into his mirror and jumped, his face turning frustrated and annoyed.

“God!” He grunted out in surprise mixed with irritation, thumping his hand against the counter just slightly. He glared at her reflection some. “Don’t do that.” He ordered and Cassie stared on at him.

“Hello, Dean.” She greeted quietly. Dean sighed and turned to face her, but the space between the two was very little. They were close to nose and nose, had Dean not been a few inches taller than her vessel. He looked between her features, then to the side of her.

“Cas. We’ve talked about this. Personal space.” Reminded Dean and Castiel nodded shortly.

“My apologies.” She took a few steps away from him, allowing him to swipe his coat from the bathroom counter and to walk away as he folded it.

“How’d you find me? I thought I was flying below the angel radar.” He asked her.

“You are.” Cas stated simply, moving around in search of the other Winchester that should’ve been in the room as well. “Bobby told me where you were.” Her brows knitted together in confusion when she couldn’t find him. “Where’s Sam?” The question had caused a moment of hesitation, she noted, in Dean before he licked his lips and answered.

“Me and Sam are taking separate vacations for a while.” He explained while slipping his coat back onto his body. “So, did you find God yet?” He asked her. “More importantly can I have my damn necklace back, please?”

“No, I haven’t found him.” Castiel deadpanned. “That’s why I’m here. I need your help.”

“Help with what? The God Hunt?” He questioned sarcastically, rolling up the sleeves of his coat. “Not interested.”

“Not God, it’s someone else.” She clarified some. Dean gave her a pensive look.

“Who?”

“It’s an Archangel. The one who killed me.” Castiel approached Dean’s confused and caught off guard expressional form.

“Excuse me?”

“His name is Raphael.” Dean stared at her for a moment.

“You were wasted by a teenage mutant ninja angel?” Castiel ignored the remark she didn’t understand.

“I've heard whispers that he's walking the earth. This is a rare opportunity.” She explained. Dean’s face contorted.

“For what? Revenge?” Cas stared blankly at him.

“Information.” Dean headed back over to the sink, lifting his knife and the same washcloth he had been using earlier to clean his jacket to begin cleaning the blade.

“So, what, you think you can find this dude and he's just gonna spill God's address?” He asked snarkily.  

“Yes, because we are gonna trap him and interrogate him.” She explained and Dean turned back to her after a moment of stillness.

“You're serious about this.” Castiel returned his look and he threw the washcloth in the sink. “So, what, I'm Thelma and you're Louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” He asked her and she tilted her head a bit. Dean walked around Castiel to store his knife away. “Give me one good reason why I should do this.”

“Because you're Michael's vessel and no angel will dare harm you.” She stated matter-of-factly. Dean looked to her once again, seeming more annoyed than he was earlier.

“Oh, so I'm your bullet shield.” He stated, though Cas had guessed he had intended it to be a question. Castiel stared at him pleadingly.

“I need your help because you are the only one who'll help me.” She kept her eyes locked with Dean’s as the mortal sized her up. “Please.” Dean seemed to consider this before sighing.

“All right, fine. Where is he?” Relief spread through Castiel’s chest.

“Maine. Let's go.” Castiel reached to touch Dean's forehead with two fingers, but Dean leaned away.

“Whoa.” Castiel removed her hand.

“What?” She asked him, not sure what was wrong now.

“Last time you zapped me someplace I didn't poop for a week.” Castiel’s confused look turned to one of simple, unadulterated irritation. “We're driving.”

~~~~~~~~~

The two companions stood just outside the Maine Police Station, taking in the surrounding areas. Dean stared up at the station, his brows furrowed.

“And we're here why?” Dean inquired as the pair climbed out the shimmering vehicle.

“A Deputy Sheriff laid eyes on the archangel.” Stated Cas as she looked up at the building as well.

“And he still has eyes?” He asked her, but she didn’t respond. “All right, what's the plan?” Truthfully, Castiel hadn’t thought about what they would do with the officer. She took a deep breath.

“We'll...tell the officer that he witnessed an angel of the Lord, and the officer will tell us where the angel is.” She reasoned and Dean’s shoulders dropped limply to his sides.

“Seriously? You're going to walk in there and tell him the truth?” He asked incredulity. Castiel nearly huffed at him.

“Why not?” Dean slipped out a fake ID and looked it over before stashing it inside her coat.

“Because we're humans.” He explained as he adjusted her coat, shirt, and her tie to a more professional position. “And when humans want something really, really bad, we lie."

“Why?”

“Because that's how you become President.” Castiel truly did not understand this man. The two entered the police station, spotting the deputy nearly as soon as they walked inside.

“Deputy Framingham?” Dean asked and the dark-skinned male turned to them. Dean held up his ID card to him. “Hi. Alonzo Mosely, FBI. This is my partner, Erin Moscone.” Dean introduced to him, now looking to Cas. She did nothing but stare at the deputy. “Also FBI.” Castiel glanced at his warning look, and pulled out her FBI ID, which she unintentionally displayed upside-down. Dean turned it over for her, sighing some. “She's, uh, she's new. Mind if we ask you a few questions?” Castiel looked at the ID, curious as Framingham nodded to them and motioning for them to follow him.

“Yeah, sure. Talk here, though.” Framingham indicated to his right ear, leading Dean and Castiel to his office. “Hearing's all blown to hell in this one.”

“That happen recently?” Dean asked and the cop nodded.

“Yeah. Gas station. Why you're here, isn't it?” Dean nodded to him as the three of them sat down together.

“Yes, it is. You mind just, uh, running us through what happened?”

Framingham sighed. “A call came in. Disturbance out at the Pump and Go on Route 4.”

“What kind of disturbance?”

“Would not have believed my eyes if I hadn't seen it myself. We're talking a riot. Full scale.” Dean leaned a bit closer.

“How many?”

“Thirty, forty, in all-out kill-or-be-killed combat?”

“Any idea what set them off?”

Castiel finally spoke up, looking to Dean. “It's angels and demons, probably.” Framingham stared at Castiel, who looked to him and stared right back. “They're skirmishing all over the globe.”

“Come again?” He questioned, turning his confused gaze to Dean. “What did she say?” Dean and Castiel spoke simultaneously.

“Nothing. Nothing.”

“Demons. Demons.” Castiel finally decided to shut up and look away.

“Demons, you know, drink, adultery. We all have our demons, Walt.” Dean covered while Walt looked back and forth.

“I guess.” Dean looked to Cas once again, but it was a brief glance.

“Anyway.” Dean returned his attention to Walt. “What happened next?”

“Freaking explosion, that's what. They said it was one of those underground gas tanks, but, uh, I don't think so.” Walt explained to them. Dean’s brows creased.

“Why not?

“Wasn't your usual fireball. It was, um-” Castiel interrupted him.

“Pure white.”

Framingham stared at her. “Yeah. Gas station was leveled. Everyone was...it was just horrible. And I see this one guy, kneeling, real focused-like, not a damn scratch on him.”

“You know him?” Interrogated Dean. Walt nodded.

“Donnie Finneman. Mechanic there.” Dean licked his lips some and a smirk formed on his face.

“Let me guess, he just, uh, vanished into thin air?” He asked and Walt looked at him incredulously.

"Uh, no, Kolchak. He's down at Saint Pete's.” Castiel turned to Dean, a slight smile on her face.

“Saint Pete's.” She repeated. Dean looked to her exasperatedly. 

“Thank you.” He sighed some. The pair said their goodbyes to the officer before they headed out to the hospital. The two made it to Donnie’s room to find said man in a wheelchair, much like a vegetable.

“I take it that's not Raphael anymore.” Dean commented and Castiel nodded.

“Just an empty vessel.” The two stood silently for a time, but Dean just had to ask one more question.

“So is this what I'm looking at if Michael jumps in my bones?” Castiel lowered her eyes for a second.

“No, not at all. Michael is much more powerful. It'll be far worse for you.” She explained and Dean looked away.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She did not know why she let Dean talk her into this. It was such a bad idea from her perspective but he seemed to love it. After asking her if this was her last night on Earth and what she planned on doing, Castiel told him she was totally alright with just sitting there. But he did not want her to die a virgin. She was already uncomfortable after he had said that, now she was sitting at a bar table, shifting uncomfortably. She was absolutely terrified. Dean stared at her for a moment.

“Hey. Relax.” He spoke calmly and she let her wide, blue eyes rest on his face.

“This is a den of iniquity. I should not be here.” She mumbled to him, biting her lip. Dean sighed a bit.

“Dude, you full-on rebelled against heaven. Iniquity is one of the perks.” As he spoke one of the male strippers of the club approached the table and Dean noticed, straightening up. “Showtime.”

“Hi. What's your name?” The other male asked. Castiel tried not to look at him.

“Cas.” Castiel jumped as Dean answered for her. “Her name is Cas. What's your name?” The hustler looked to Dean with a strange look before returning his eyes to Cas.

“Emmanuel.” The man introduced to her. Cas grabbed ahold of her beer and began to drink it rapidly while Dean did his best to hide his amused smile.

“Wow. Is that kismet or what, buddy? Well, she likes you, you like her, so dayenu.” He encouraged and Emmanuel tugged Cas up gently.  As the two began to walk away, Dean caught ahold of her, lifting a condom to her. “Hey, listen. Take this. Now just stick to the basics, okay? Do not order off the menu. Go get him, tiger.” He encouraged, slapping her on the back some. Castiel stayed still, holding the condom as she stared at Dean with a pleading look. Dean wasn’t having it. “Don't make me push you.” Castiel took the condom reluctantly before walking away with Emmanuel. A hooker walked past; Dean decided to follow her. The two had gotten a drink and just toasted their glasses at the bar. “Well, cheers to you.”

A shout was heard behind them. Dean turned in alarm before going to investigate.

“Get out of my face! Leave me alone! Bastard! Screw you, bitch! Just what the hell lady?!” Emmanuel shouted at her as Castiel looked rather disheveled. “I could kill you!” He marched past Dean. He glared at him. “Fuck you too!” Dean watched the man march away with wide eyes, before approaching Castiel.

“The hell did you do?” He asked, holding his hands up a bit in confusion. Castiel swallowed hard as she lifted her startled gaze up to him.

“I don't know. I just looked him in the eyes and told him it wasn't his fault that his father Gene ran off. It was because he didn't love his mother.” She explained and Dean lifted his hand to rub his forehead.

“Oh, no, man.” He sighed and Cas stood, afraid she did something really awful.

“What?”

“This whole industry runs on broken hearts with a long list of daddy issues. It's...it's the natural order.” He explained to her as two bouncers entered from the door Emmanuel had just left through. Dean spotted them and quickly placed his hand on her shoulder. “We should go. Come on.” He and Castiel headed for the door at the opposite end of the corridor, exiting the building quickly. Once out in the alley, Dean started laughing while he closed the door behind himself and Castiel.

“What's so funny?” Castiel asked him, looking rather flustered.

“Oh, nothing. Whoo. It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. It's been more than a long time. Years.” Dean's face fell as he realized this. The two drove around the rest of the night, stopping at different bars and strip clubs that they could find. Once Dean had decided to keep her from the sexual side of their trips, Castiel had a fun time with Dean and she wished for the night to never end. It was well into the early morning when they settled in an abandoned house so Dean could sleep after such an exciting evening. The following morning they had traveled back to St. Peter’s Hospital. Dean stood outside Donnie’s room to keep watch as Castiel set up the trap. A nurse walked down the hallway and Dean watched her go before slipping into the room, shutting the door behind him and closing the shades. Castiel finished pouring the oil in a circle around Donnie's wheelchair.

"When the oil burns, no angel can touch or pass through the flames, or he dies.” Castiel explained to him and Dean nodded quickly.

“Okay, so we trap him in a steel cage of holy fire, but one question. How the hell do we get him here?” Castiel moved around the oil circle and to Donnie’s side.

“Very simple. There's, well, almost an open phone line between a vessel and his angel. One just has to know how to dial.” Castiel leaned down to Donnie's ear and chanted in Enochian. “I'm here, Raphael. Come and get me, you little bastard.” She growled before leaving the oil circle.

“Just out of curiosity, what is the average customer wait time to speak to an archangel?” Castiel simply stared at Raphael’s vessel.

“Be ready.” Castiel lite a match and dropped it on the oil, which bursts into a ring of flame. Nothing happened for the rest of the day. The pair returned to the abandoned house rather disappointed.

“Well that's a day I'll never get back.” Dean grumbled as he opened the door to the house. Castiel lifted her hand and placed it on his chest, effectively stopping him.

“Dean, wait.” She ordered as a bright light filled the area. Donnie was already inside the cabin, flaring with lightning in the shape of wings; but he wasn’t Donnie; Now he is Raphael. Lightbulbs shatter all through the home as the Archangel looked to his fellow angel.

“Castiel.” He spoke, almost like a cold greeting. Castiel glared at him.

“Raphael.” Castiel and Dean walked closer to the Archangel, being careful not to get too close.

“And I thought you were supposed to be impressive. All you do is black out the room?” Dean commented and Raphael’s chest seemed to puff out slightly.

“And the Eastern Seaboard.” Lightning flashed outside. “It is a testament to my unending mercy that I do not smite you here and now.” Dean rolled his eyes some.

“Or maybe you're full of crap. Maybe you're afraid God will bring Cas back to life again and smite you and your candy-ass skirt.” He mocked and when the angel looked to him, he smirked. “By the way, hi, I'm Dean.”

“I know who you are.” Raphael’s voice boomed. “And now, thanks to her, I know where you are.” Castiel moved in front of Dean a bit, standing protectively in front of him.

“You won't kill him. You wouldn't dare.” She growled and Raphael’s eyes narrowed at her.

“But I will take him to Michael.” The only sounds that bounced around the room was that of the storm outside the home. Dean pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth, making a ‘tsk’ noise.

“Well then. Sounds terrifying. It does. But, uh, hate to tell you, I'm not going anywhere with you.” Dean grabbed a beer from the table, popping it open as the two angels looked to him.

“Surely you remember Zachariah giving you stomach cancer?” Raphael questioned and Dean paused some. He gave him a fake smile.

“Yeah, that was, that was hilarious.” He jeered. Raphael gave a small smirk.

“Well, he doesn't have anything close to my imagination.” Dean chuckled some.

“Yeah? I bet you didn't imagine one thing.”

“What?” He asked him as Dean reached his free hand into his pocket.

“We knew you were coming, you stupid son of a bitch.” Dean pulled out and lite his lighter then dropped it. The holy oil ignited in a circle around Raphael, burning bright. The Archangel gave a rather murderous look to Dean. “Don't look at me, it was her idea.” Dean stated defensively, pointing to Cas quickly. Castiel turned her head to him, giving him a look of her own before looking back to Raphael.

“Where is he?”

“God?” Raphael asked. “Didn't you hear? He's dead, Castiel. Dead. There's no other explanation. He's gone for good.” Castiel shook her head some, her breathing quickening.

“You're lying.” She denied.

“Am I? Do you remember the twentieth century?” Raphael smirked. “Think the twenty-first is going any better? Do you think God would have let any of that happen if he were alive?”

“Oh yeah?” Dean interjected, smiling some from his own sarcastic comment. “Well then who invented the Chinese basket trick?” Raphael stood taller.

“Careful. That's my father you're talking about, boy.” He warned.

“Yeah, who would be so proud to know his sons started the frigging apocalypse.” He snapped back.

“Who ran off and disappeared. Who left no instructions and a world to run.” Raphael countered. Dean scoffed at him.

“Daddy ran away and disappeared. He didn't happen to have girl problems, did he?” He asked, looking to Castiel at their inside joke. Castiel just glared at him.

“This is funny to you? You're living in a godless universe.”

Dean shrugged. “And? What, you and the other kids just decided to throw an apocalypse while he was gone?”

“We're tired. We just want it to be over. We just want...paradise.

“So, what, God dies and makes you the boss and you decide you can do whatever you want?”

Raphael didn’t miss a beat. “Yes. And whatever we want, we get.” The windows burst in at the end of the Archangel’s statement, allowing the rainwater to come rushing in. Castiel and Dean moved to cover their heads for a moment. They looked to it, but Castiel turned back to Raphael.

“If God is dead, why have I returned? Who brought me back?” She asked and the corner of his mouth curved.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lucifer raised you?” Castiel’s eyes widened a bit and she shook her head very slowly.

“No.”

“Think about it. He needs all the rebellious angels he can find. You know it adds up.” Raphael argued. Castiel remained quiet for a long time.

“Let's go.” She ordered Dean and turned away from her brother.

“Castiel, I'm warning you. Do not leave me here. I will find you.” He stated, causing Castiel to pause in her steps. She glanced over her shoulder at him, her eyes narrowed.

“Maybe one day. But today, you're my little bitch.” Castiel turned and exited the house, Dean following before pausing. He looked to Raphael.

“What she said.” He commented then slipped out to meet Cas in the Impala. Dean drove as Castiel sat next to him, the two sitting in silence. They both had a lot to think about. “You okay?” Castiel stayed silent. “Look, I'll be the first to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts, but I do know a little something about missing fathers.” Cas looked to him.

“What do you mean?” Dean took a breath.

“I mean, every time I was looking for my dad, when all logic said that he was dead, I knew in my heart he was still alive. Who cares what some ninja turtle says, Cas. What do you believe?” He asked her, turning his head to look at her for a moment. Castiel looked back out the window of the car.

“I believe he's out there.” She admitted. Dean nodded.

“Good. Go find him.” He encouraged. Cassie looked to him.

“What about you?” Dean’s brows creased.

“What about me?” He asked and looked to her to find that she was still gazing at him. “I don't know. Honestly, I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I am, I'm really good.”

“Even without your brother?” She asked and Dean didn’t hesitate.

  
“Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and you're not that much fun." He smiled jokingly at her. "It's funny, you know? I've been so chained to my family, but now that I'm alone, hell, I'm happy.” Dean looked back over; the shotgun seat is empty. Dean thought she didn’t hear any of what he had said, but she heard all of it. And she didn’t know how to handle the wave of unfamiliar emotions his words gave her. And she still had her father to find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so after I write episode scenes, I think I might write an actual story with them. Let me know what scenes you want rewritten though. I don't mind any requests. I'll keep posting when I can.


	5. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets a glimpse of the future in which humans have been infected with a demonic virus that turns them into zombies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is specifically for you, Grace. I hope you like it.   
> *UPDATE* Grammar and spelling errors fixed.

Castiel sighed at the glowing brick in her hand. A phone, Dean had said it was called. It was supposed to help her communicate with him from miles away, but it was not very reliable. This was very annoying, especially at times like these when she was trying to give important information to the Hunter.

“We’re talking about the Colt, right? I mean, as in  _ the _ Colt?” Dean’s distorted voice came from the phone.

“We are.” She confirmed with a nod of her head. Shuffling was heard from the other side of the phone and it confused her. What was that? And was that normal?

“Well, that doesn’t make any sense.” Dean pointed out. “I mean, why would the demons keep a gun around that, uh, kills demons?” When he had started speaking, a semi-truck zoomed passed the wayward angel, temporarily stopping her ability to hear him. She place one hand over her free ear in an attempt to muffle it out.

“What? What?” Castiel nearly yelled through the phone. “I-I didn’t-I didn’t get that.” She stated embarrassedly once the truck was out of earshot. All she heard in response was Dean’s laughter.

“You know, it’s kind of funny. Talking to a messenger of God on a cellphone. It’s, ya know, like watching a Hell’s Angel ride a moped.” He pointed out and she felt a wave of annoyance, a relatively familiar emotion she felt when talking to Dean.

“This isn’t funny, Dean.” She protested. “The voice says I’m almost out of minutes.” Dean chuckled further.

“Okay, alright. I’m-I’m telling you, Cas. The mooks have melted down the gun by now.”

“Well, I hear differently. And if it’s true, and your are still set on the insane task of killing the devil, this is how we do it.” Stated Cassie incredulously. She heard Dean sigh.

“Okay.” He relented. “Where do we start?”

“Where are you now?” Most shuffling.

“Kansas City. Century Hotel, room 113.” Castiel nodded.

“I’ll be there immediately.” As she went to hang up, Dean’s protesting voice came through and she brought the phone back to her ear.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, come on, man. I just drove like sixteen hours straight, okay? I’m human. And there’s stuff I gotta do.” Her brows creased.

“What stuff?”

“Eat, for example. In this case, sleep. I just need like four hours once in awhile, okay?” Castiel sighed.

“Yes.”

“Okay, so, you can pop in tomorrow morning.” Dean sounded relieved.

“Yes. I’ll just-” She was interrupted by a click and then the dial tone. She pulled the phone away from her face to look down at the small screen, huffing softly, then slipped it into her pocket. “-wait here, then.” She mumbled to herself, glancing around the street corner she stood at.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five long years had past since Lucifer was set free from his cage. Five years of absolute Hell on Earth, with Crots flooding the streets, food and resources nearly nonexistent, and the lingering feeling of defeat filtered through the air wherever she went. The angels leaving had been something she hadn’t foreseen. Dean held out against them, but Sam let Lucifer in. So there was no one to match the Devil as he razed the Earth. When they did, her grace and wings simply diminished. It had taken her losing them to realize just how important to her they were to her. She walked around for years, feeling as if something was missing from her. A certain weight that had always been there but was no longer. She felt lighter, but not in a good way. She had turned to less than...practical forms of relief for her warring emotions and hollowness. Narcotics. They were rather wondrous little pills. The numbness they caused to sweep through her system each time she took them formed a pseudo-peace over her. Dean hadn’t approved at first, but over time he gave in and let her keep to them. There was so much he did not understand about her need for them to fill the void left behind in her soul. Despite how close they had become during this whole mess.

It was to be expected. After Bobby’s death and Sam letting Lucifer in, they were all each other really had left. Even after finding Chuck and the group had gathered survivors together at Camp Chitaqua, no one really shared any form of connection that Dean and Castiel shared. Many times, the two longed to act upon their desires and longing for the other, but each time they had refused to. It was just a matter of principle that was ridiculous for them to hold onto in this fucked up time they were living in. Still, the two stayed in separate cabins a bit away from one another. Dean grew harder and colder, while Castiel loosened up and was much of what Dean had called a ‘hippy’. She didn’t care. She was going to do what she wished and Dean couldn’t stop her. She was new to this whole mortal thing, and how she acted was how she coped. The only problem that came to mind was something neither wanted to think about. Her mortality. That she could be killed, now. She could die just like the rest of them. It wasn’t until after a rough mission that Castiel’s mortality was finally brought to the forefront of their minds. She had been hurt, keeping Dean from getting hit by a Croat. A Crot had managed to pin the fearless leader down, and despite her broken foot, Castiel rushed to his side. She was just in time to take the full force of the blow from a crowbar to the head. She had been unconscious for a week, or so she had been told when she woke. When she finally did come to, she found herself in Dean’s cabin with her foot wrapped up and head bandaged. She was laying in his bed with the rather distressed Winchester pacing the room. When he had noticed that her eyes were open, he had hurried to sit beside the bed. He had taken her hand after he had shouted at her for a good five minutes straight about being that stupid to take that hit for him. Her response had thrown him for a loop.

_ ‘You are much more important and needed than I am. We can’t lose you.’ _

Dean had stared at her for a long moment, making that face he always made when he was doing his best to keep himself together. It was in that moment that they threw their reservations about one another out the window. It took just one kiss from the flustered leader to do that. She remembered that kiss to the last detail. He had taken ahold of her face gently, though his hands were rough and calloused from years of working with them. His lips had been surprisingly soft to the point where Cas would tease him by asking if he moisturised before kissing her. He had been warm, but the emotions that he conveyed through that brief kiss were anything but. It was a desperate, sorrowful kiss that lasted just a few seconds before he had pulled back to talk to her.

_ ‘You’re important to me. If I lost you Cas, I….I don’t think I could continue on. Not after losing everyone else.’ _

Cassie had stared at him for a long time, but had pulled him back down with a simple hand on the back of his head to resume their kiss. That’s when they decided they weren’t going to dance around one another. True, their mannerisms didn’t change too much, but they were more open and affectionate with one another. Just not in public. They both agreed that would be best. Just in case.

Dean had been out on a mission, or was supposed to when Cas had spotted him tumbling into her cabin with a confused look on his face. Her group session was in full swing when he had entered.

“So, in this way, we’re each a fragment of total perception. Just, uh, one compartment in that dragonfly eye of group mind. Now, the key to this total shared perception-it’s, um, it’s surprisingly physical.” Glancing to her left, Cassie spotted Dean staring down at her as if they needed to talk. Fear filled her chest as she worried he may have found out the truth. “Oh. Excuse me, everyone. I think I need to confer with our fearless leader for a minute. Why not go get washed up for the orgy?” She suggested, smiling at all of them as they exited before getting to her feet. A low grunt came from her as she stretched her back, feeling a satisfying pop but it was followed by unease in her abdomen. Dean approached her almost hesitantly.

“What are you? A hippie?” He asked and she scoffed, her back to him.

“I thought you’d gotten over trying to label me.” She pointed out.

“Cas, we gotta talk.” Dean requested. Her eyes widened slightly. He knew. There was no other expli-

“Whoa.” Cassie swayed slightly as a wave of dizziness was over her when she had turned to face him. She held up her hands to stop his approach and keep some distance from her so she could look him over. “Strange.” She muttered and Dean’s brows knitted together.

“What?”

“You…..are not you. Not now you, anyway.” He seemed relieved when she figured the issue out. 

“No! Yeah. Yes, exactly.” He confirmed and her worry left her. He wasn’t here for that talk, and she was still in the clear. For now.

“What year are you from?”

“2009.”

“Who did this to you? Is it Zachariah?” Judging by the annoyed look on his face, she hit the nail on the head.

“Yes.” She smiled some, putting her finger to her lips.

“Interesting.” Dean scoffed in a manner he only did when he was going to sass someone.

“Oh, yeah, it’s friggin’ fascination. No, why don’t you strap on your angel wings and fly me back to my page on the calendar?” Castiel let out a bitter chuckle, hating that she had to run through this once again.

“I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings. But I’m sorry. No dice.” She shrugged and past Dean looked her over.

“What, are you stoned?”

“Uh, generally, yeah. Most of the time.” Dean locked eyes with her, a disappointed look crossing his features that she wanted to wipe away.

“What happened to you?” He asked softly and she simply shrugged.

“Life.” Castiel didn’t stop him when he headed out of the cabin, but it settled a hard stone in her heart. When they returned, she informed the group that the orgy had to be postponed. She had ignored their disappointed looks. She had her fill of that expression today. She had been cleaning out her mouth after a round of throwing up when Chuck was sent to retrieve her for a meeting. When she entered the familiar cabin, she smiled at past Dean but even more so at her Dean. She took her usual seat, propping her feet up as others filed into the cabin as well. They were briefed as to why there were two Deans and just where her Dean had been. He set his prize on the table for all to see.

“So, that’s it? That’s the Colt?” Risa asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

“If anything can kill Lucifer, this is it.” Future Dean explained.

“Great. Have we got anything that can  _ find _ Lucifer?” She questioned coldly. 2014 Dean looked at her for a short moment.

“Are you okay?” 2009 Dean spoke up with a smirk.

“Oh, we were in, uh, Jane’s cabin last night. And apparently, we and….Risa have a connection.” He informed himself. As 2014 Dean turned to glare at his past self, Cas held back a smirk. She knew that Dean and Risa were just a fling, and Risa thinking they had a “connection” was just so sad to her.

“You want to shut up?” 2009 Dean raised his hands in surrender. “We don’t have to find Lucifer. We know where he is. The demon that we caught last week, he was one of the big guy’s entourage. He knew.”

“So, a demon tells you where Satan’s gonna be, and you just believe it?”

“Oh trust me, he wasn’t lying.”

“And you know this how?” Cassie cleared her throat as a dark shadow passed over her Dean’s eyes.

“Our fearless leader, I’m afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth.” Past Dean stared at his future self in disbelief, slowly rising to his feet.

“Torture?” He asked him, and Castiel watched him closely. “Oh, so we’re-we’re torturing again.” Her Dean looked at him, an unimpressed look on his face. Past Dean smiled bitterly, holding up his thumbs for a moment. “No, that-that’s good. Classy.” Cassie couldn’t help but chuckle at the sass, her Dean shooting her a look. She shrugged at him.

“What? I like past you.” 2014 Dean rolled his eyes slightly before pointing out a spot on the map. 

“Lucifer is here. Now, I know the block and I know the building.” Cassie, along with the others, looked to the spot and she blew out a rapid breath.

“Oh good. It’s right in the middle of a hot zone.” She commented. 2014 Dean nodded.

“Crawling with Croats, yeah. You saying my plan is reckless?”

“Are you saying we, uh, walk in straight up the driveway, past all the demons and the Croats, and we shoot the devil?” Asked Castiel.

“Yes.”

“Okay, if you don’t like, uh, ‘reckless’, I could use ‘insouciant’ maybe.”

“Are you coming?” She sighed and nodded.

“Of course. But why is he? I mean, he’s you five years ago. If something happens to him, you’re gone, right?” She asked, but 2014 Dean didn’t even hesitate.

“He’s coming.” Castiel slapped her hands down onto her thighs.

“Okay. Well, uh, I’ll get the grunts moving.” She stated as she stood, turning to head to the door.

“We’re loaded and on the road by midnight.” Cas waved back at him without turning around.

“Alrighty.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel had everyone ready to go by the time her Dean had ordered. She was to be driving with past Dean because she was the only one he was comfortable with. She didn’t protest. As the convoy drove, Cas reached into her pocket to grab a bottle of pills. One hand on the wheel, she glanced down at the label. Oh how she wanted to take them, but it wouldn’t be very good for her right now. She was about to put it back into her pocket when Dean noticed them.

“Let me see those.” He requested and she lightly tossed him the bottle.

“You want some?” She asked playfully.

“Amphetamines?” Castiel nodded some.

“It’s the perfect antidote to that absinthe.” She heard Dean sigh.

“Don’t get me wrong, Cas. I’m glad that stick is out of your ass, but what’s going on w-with the drugs and the orgies and the love-guru crap?” His question caused her to laugh, but of course this Dean wouldn’t understand why. “What’s so funny?”

“Dean, I’m not an angel anymore.” She explained, tilting her head some to look over at him then back to the road.

“What?”

“Yeah, I went mortal.”

“What do you mean? How?”

“I think it had something to do with the other angels leaving. But when they bailed, my mojo just kind of-psshhew!- drained away. And now, you know, I’m practically human. She chuckled at her own sound effect. “I mean, Dean, I’m all but useless. Last year, broke my foot, laid up for two months.” Castiel had thought about telling him the whole story and the current predicament she found herself in, but she figured it would be best if he and her past self worked it out without her.

“Wow.” She nodded.

“Yeah.”

“So, you’re human? Well, welcome to the club.” She smiled rather sadly.

“Thanks. Except I used to belong to a much better club. And now I’m powerless. I’m hapless, I’m hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in sex and drugs, right? It’s the end, baby. That’s what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out? But then that’s, that’s just how I roll.” She sighed a bit. She could feel Dean’s eyes watching her, assessing her. She knew that he could tell something else was off about her.

“Are you sure that’s it? I feel there’s something you’re not telling me.” Cassie chuckled.

“There’s a buttload I’m not telling you, Dean. Don’t want ya taking hints back to the past now, do we?” She laughed to herself.

“I’m serious, Cassie.” The change of tone in his voice caused her smile to fall and for her to look to him briefly. She pressed her lips into a fine line, watching the road.

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with.” She muttered, her free hand moving to gently brush her fingers across her stomach subconsciously. Dean spotted the slight movement and his eyes widened. He turned his body to be fully facing her.

“Cas, are you-” She cut him off.

“Well, when I said I was mortal, I wasn’t kidding. Guess there’s a lot that goes with being human.” Dean had fallen silent for a moment.

“Does…..future me know?” He questioned, trying to find something to call her Dean other than Dean. She shook her head.

“Nope. I’d be taken off missions if I did that.”

“Do you know who-” Castiel cut him off again.

“I do. He doesn’t and I’m keeping it that way.” She made her voice firm, ending that discussion quickly. Dean yielded, not bringing the matter up again. Not even once they were at the meeting place.

Castiel stood next to her Dean, wanting to avoid past Dean for a while longer.

“There. Second floor window. We go in there.” 2014 Dean ordered. Risa looked to the spot.

“You sure about this?” Dean spared her a single glance.

“They’ll never see us coming. Trust me. Now, weapons check. We’re on the move in five.” Castiel and 2014 Dean shared a look as the others got ready for the assault. He didn’t need to say anything for her to know something was wrong. She could see it in his eyes. Her brows creased in worry and sadness as she reached her hand out to place it over his. When he didn’t respond, she knew this was goodbye. Past Dean looked between them, a tight feeling forming in his chest.

“Hey, uh, me. Can I talk to you for a sec?” He asked. Castiel and Dean broke away from one another and the two walked off to speak. Call it luck or misfortune, but Cas was just barely in hearing range of the two to hear the entire conversation. “Tell me what’s going on.” The younger voice requested.

“What?”

“I know you. You’re lying to these people and to me.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. See, I know your lying expressions. I’ve seen them in the mirror. Now, there’s something you’re not telling us.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, really? Well, I don’t seem to be the only member of your posse with some questions. So maybe I’ll just take my doubts over to them.” Castiel heard the shuffling of footsteps and she tightened her grip on her AK-47, her head lowered. If past Dean asked her anything, she knew she couldn’t lie. Not with this being goodbye for them. Luckily, her Dean stopped him.

“Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.”

“What?”

“Take a look around you, man. This place should be white-hot with Croats. Where are they?” There was silence for five seconds.

“They cleared a path for us. Which means that this is-”

“A trap. Exactly.”

“Well, then we can’t go through the front.”

“Oh we’re not. They are. They’re the decoys. You and me, we’re going in through the back.”

“You mean you’re going to feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas too? You want to use their deaths as a diversion?” Dean’s voice sounded appalled, disgusted with himself for even thinking of this plan. There was no response from her Dean. “Oh man, something is broken in you. You’re making decisions that I would never make. I wouldn’t sacrifice my friends and loved ones. Especially one that is pregnant.” He hissed. Castiel’s blood ran cold, her limbs stiffening up. The silence was deafening.

“What?” Her Dean’s voice was low, and dazed.

“Cas. She and I were talking on the way here and she told me she’s pregnant.” There was shuffling sounds again.

“If she is, why wouldn’t she say anything to me?”

“She didn’t want to be taken off mission. She was adamant that you didn’t know.” It was all quiet again.

“This doesn’t change the mission.”

“What?! You can’t do that to her! I wouldn’t ever-”

“You’re right.  _ You _ wouldn’t. It’s one of the main reasons we’re in this mess, actually.” Her Dean practically snapped.

“These people count on you. They trust you.”

“They trust me to kill the devil and save the world. And that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”

“No. Not like this, you’re not. I’m not gonna let you.” Hearing his words made Castiel realize just how much she missed Dean. The real Dean. The one that was hopeful, always cracking jokes and unable to take things seriously. The one who taught her so much about the good of humanity, who showed her just how much fun and good life could be. And she missed him with a sharp ache. She closed her eyes, taking a calming breath in through her nose. Following the sounds of something colliding with something else then falling, 2014 Dean had moved back towards the group. As soon as he spotted her, the two stared at one another.

“Is it true?” He asked quietly. Castiel lowered her gaze. Suddenly, Dean’s hands were on her forearms, holding her gently. 

“Why didn’t you saying anything to me about it?” His voice was softer than she had heard it get in a long time.

“I have my reasons. But now you know. Gives you even more reasons to get back to me, alive.” Cas smiled sadly up at him. The confusion on his face was short lived when he made the connection with her words. His grip tightened only slightly before he moved his hands to the sides of her face. He pulled her into a deep kiss, no longer caring that they were in public. This was goodbye. Not much would matter after this. Cas let go of her gun to wrap her arms around his neck, and Dean in turn moved his arms around her torso. She was unsure how long they stayed like this, but it would never be long enough for her. But they still had a mission to complete. When they broke apart, they spent a moment longer with their foreheads touching and their gazes remaining on the other’s eyes. Cas gave Dean a slight smile prior to letting him, reluctantly, go. 

“Move out.” Dean ordered and the group began their attack. Cassie picked back up her automatic and turned her eyes to the sky. Silently, she sent a prayer to anyone who could be listening for things to be different. Let past Dean learn something from their losses and set it right. She took a deep, nerve-wrecked breath and stood ready, marching on with the others. Upon entering the building and fighting a good several floors, Castiel noticed something was off. The demons and Croats actually seemed to be trying to avoid her. They attacked the others, but ignored her as if they were told not to. Terror cut through her mind like a knife at this realization. If they weren’t attacking her, it was because Lucifer ordered them not to. And that shook her to her very core. But she made a mistake. She had allowed herself to get distracted with her own mind and didn’t notice the demon rushing her flank until he was right on top of her. With a bat in hand, the demon slammed the solid wood across her head, knocking her out cold. When she came to, she felt herself being dragged by two pairs of hands. Something warm and wet was rolling down her face. Blood. Her legs were scraping against the ground and glass shards resulting in a pained groan. She let out a yelp of pain when she had suddenly been forced to her knees and into a bowing position. In front of her was a pair of pure white shoes and white pant legs. And she was afraid. Her hair was grabbed and her head yanked up roughly by one of the demons that had dragged her here so she could face Lucifer. Seeing Sam in front of her as her enemy was more than she could bare, and she had to remind herself that Sam wasn’t in there anymore. That it was just her dark, twisted brother. Her brother who was giving her a soft smile.

“Hello again, little sister.” He greeted softly, reaching out to her. Castiel flinched backwards, turning her head away from him. Lucifer sighed. “You and Dean…” He muttered. Castiel’s eyes widened.

“Where is he? What have you done to him? What have you done with Dean?” She snapped, her breathing becoming more like heaving. He ‘tsk’ed at her, his smile gone.

“I don’t understand your feelings for these….cockroaches. I thought, of all my brothers and sisters, you would have seen things with me. Would’ve rebelled with me.”

“I did see things your way for a time. But I wasn’t stupid enough to rebel against Father when he knows exactly what he’s doing. He had a reason for wanting us to bow to the humans, and I know why.” Lucifer raised an eyebrow at her. “They’re so much better than us, Lucifer. In every way, and you destroyed them.” She snarled and Lucifer laughed some.

“Oh little sis, you are so confused. Maybe by spending some time with me, you’ll begin to see things my way again. I mean, it’s not like you have anyone or anything to go back to.” His words felt like a lead weight that had been dropped on her. She couldn’t breathe, her limbs were suddenly heavier and she continued to stare up at Lucifer. He gave her a small smirk and a scoff, moving his hands to button up his outer coat then stepped around her. With him no longer in that spot, there was nothing obscuring the face in front of her. Everything stopped. His eyes were closed and lips parted. Had she been naive, she could’ve believed he was just sleeping. But she knew. As she began to get lightheaded and dizzy, Castiel realized that she had stopped breathing and was crying. Her vision was once again blocking the view before her, but now it was due to her own tears pouring down her face. When she did finally inhale again, pleas for him to open his eyes and calls of his name tumbled out of her lips. And when he didn’t respond, a loud, broken scream of complete loss and crippling sorrow came from the small woman. Lucifer chuckled at his sister’s grief and motioned for his demons to drag her away. She began to struggle, wanting to get back to him, but their grips on her arms tightened until she felt and heard the bones snap. Another strangled cry came from her, but it didn’t matter. No matter what they did now, it would be no good. For every fiber in her wanted to die. To be with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel glanced around the street corner she found herself on. It was near dawn now and she’d get to finally fly to Dean soon, but something felt off. In worry for the human, Cas stretched her mind out to Kansas City, and to the hotel he was at. Feeling Zachariah in the area with him, Castiel didn’t even stop to think as she pulled Dean to her. The man looked around some, his back to her. But he turned quickly to find her there. She offered him a smile while he was breathing rather quickly.

“That’s pretty nice timing, Cas.” He chuckled breathlessly. Cassie smiled a bit more at him.

“We had an appointment.” She reminded him in a playful manner. His smile fell as he reached out to place his hand on her shoulder. She blinked quickly and looked to it, then back to his face. 

“Don’t ever change.” Castiel tilted her head a bit at him, but didn’t ask him to clarify.

“How did Zachariah find you?” Dean took a deep breath in through his nose.

“Long story. Let’s just stay away from Jehovah’s Witnesses from now on, okay?” He pulled out his cellphone as he said this. Castiel’s brows creased and she looked between him and the object in his hands.

“What are you doing?” She asked as he lifted the phone to his ear.

“Something I should’ve done in the first place.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was tough, but fun to write. I think the next chapter will be 'Point of No Return'. Mainly because I want to write a Fem!Cas beating the crap out of Dean.


	6. Point of No Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Dean learns that the angels have decided they don't need him anymore, he joins with Sam and Castiel to take on Zachariah.  
> *UPDATE* Grammar and spelling errors fixed.

Castiel was mad. No, she was enraged. Dean was ready to give up and offer himself to Michael, even after everything they had been through together. She and Sam had to go retrieve him from his suicide run, and when they brought him back to Bobby’s, all they got was him trying his damndest to get them to let him go. Cas leaned against the wall in Bobby’s study, arms crossed over her chest as she watched Dean angrily walk around the room.

“Yeah, no. This is good. Really. You know, eight months of turned pages and screwed pooches but tonight, tonight’s when the magic happens.” Dean snarkily stated, earning a simple sigh from Sam and a groan from Bobby.

“You ain’t helpin’.” The elder pointed out and Dean plastered a fake smile onto his face.

“Yeah, well why don’t you let me get out of your hair then?” The two Hunters looked up from their books at Dean’s statement, befuddled and betrayed expressions on their faces.

“What the hell happened to you?” Bobby asked. Dean lifted a hand to emphasize his point.

“Reality happened.” He stated, locking gazes with his father figure. “Nuclear’s the only option we have left. Michael can ice the devil, save a boatload of people.”

“But not all of them. We gotta think of something else.” Protested the sir-ly man.

“Yeah, well that’s easy for you to say. But if Lucifer burns this mother down, and I could’ve done something about it, guess what? That’s on me.” He gestured to himself.

“You can’t give up, son.” Bobby whispered pleadingly. Dean looked to Bobby, baring his broken, hopeless soul to him.

“You’re not my father. And you ain’t in my shoes.” A muddled and pained expression passed over Bobby’s face at this jab. He gave Dean a slight nod. Taking a deep breath in and out of his nose, he reached into his desk to remove the revolver he kept there. He set it in the middle of the desk so all could see before he reached into his pocket to pull out the matching bullet. The patriarch of the household stared at the small, metal object while everyone else in the room stared on. Dean spoke up first.

“What is that?”

“That’s the round that I mean to put through my skull.” Bobby informed them simply then placed it next to the gun. “Every morning, I look at it. I think ‘maybe today’s the day I flip the lights out’ but I don’t.” The atmosphere thickened around them. “I never do it. You know why? Because I promised  _ YOU _ I wouldn’t give up!” He snapped. As the moment between the small family intensified, an electric pain shot through Cas’s head. With a wince, she hunched over and held her forehead, eyes closed. Sam turned his head at the movement, his brows turned down in concern.

“Cas, you okay?”

“No.” She grunted out, rubbing her temple slightly while straightening herself out. “Something’s happening.”

“Where?” Dean quarried, but Castiel had already disappeared. Finding herself in an unfamiliar forest that was the source of the disturbance, Cas took hesitant steps forward. She looked around at her surroundings, searching for danger as she progressed to a treeless clearing. She was barely four steps into the area when she spotted an anomaly. In a single spot, the soil rose and fell as if it were breathing. Cautious of what it could be, Cas knelt down before it and reached her hand out to touch it. It was in this moment that she felt a familiar jolt of static rush her spine, kicking in her reflexes. She turned just in time to block an attack from a brother. He forced his blade, trying to stab what would’ve been her back had she remained in her previous position. Pulling her own blade from her coat, Castiel parried his blade away and made a pass for his neck as he made one for her stomach. Their free hands gripped the other’s opposite wrist, holding back the other’s attack with half of their strength and the other half being used to press their offense. But Castiel had spent enough time with the Winchesters to learn a few new tricks. Moving to gain the upper hand, Cas slammed her knee into the angel’s side twice then knocked him away. She slashed at him with her blade, but he dodged the swipes with ease. Slowing their movements and drawing back from one another, Cas and the other angel began to circle one another. Then the assailant lunged for her. She grabbed his arm, and used his own momentum to flip him over her shoulder and to the ground. He rolled away from her just as she was about to land a killing blow then locked them in close quarter combat once again. This was when Cas felt something else behind her. Glancing over her shoulder, she spotted another angel running at her with his blade in hand. Cas twisted her body so the thrust the other angel made only made contact with her trench coat. Using this form, she trapped his arm under her own and knocked the blade from the angel in front of her into her open hand. She thrusted the blade up below his rib cage, the blue light of his grace shining through his vessel’s eyes and mouth. Using the pulse wave of energy that came from the death of an angel, Cas kicked the last angel away. A quick slash of her blade caught the angel in the side, forcing him to stagger backwards than fall. She quickly climbed above him and jammed her blade into his chest without hesitation, ending the angel’s otherwise immortal life.

Cas glanced around to be sure there were no other angels around her before standing and walking back to the pulsing part of the Earth. A hand slowly emerged from the dirt and Cas was quickly to reach out and grip it. She pulled the human body up and out of the dirt, but then let him fall onto his back once out. She gazed down at the form and her eyes widened slightly. Adam Milligan, the Winchesters’ half brother. Wasting no more time, Castiel flew both herself and Adam back to Bobby’s place. 

“Help.” She called to the humans. The closest to her, Bobby looked up at her.

“Boys!” He summoned the two while wheeling around to where Castiel laid Adam down. “Who is it?” He questioned once the other two Winchesters were in the room.

“That’s our brother.” Sam stated in shock at the breathing form of their previously dead brother.

“Wait a minute, your brother? Adam?” Bobby demanded clarification. Dean quickly looked to Castiel, looking just as shocked as Sam.

“Cas, what the hell?”

“Angels.” She stated simply as she placed the two spare angel blades she had taken from the others she fought.

“Angels? Why?”

“I know one thing for sure. We need to hide him. Now.” Castiel was walking towards Adam as she spoke. Once she had reached him, she placed her hand on his chest to brand the Enochian symbols into his ribs just as she had for Sam and Dean. The pain from this actions caused Adam’s eyes to shoot open and gasp in alarm.

“Where am I?” He asked, quiet nearly throwing himself up into a sitting position.

“It’s okay. Just relax, you’re safe.” Sam tried to calm him, but that wasn’t working out too well.

“Who the hell are you?” Dean spoke up to answer Adam’s question.

“You’re going to find this a little….a lot crazy, but we’re actually your brothers.” Adam looked between the two men quickly.

“It’s the truth. John Winchester was our father, too. See, I’m Sam-” Adam interrupted Sam.

“Yeah, and I’m sure that’s Dean. I know who you are.” Sam’s head tilted slightly.

“How?”

“They warned me about you.”

“Who did?”

“The angels. Now where the hell is Zachariah?” Adam demanded. The room fell silent before Bobby suggested to Adam that he head upstairs and get himself cleaned up. Once the boy returned, dirt free and in new clothes, the sat in a semi circle formation.

“So why don’t you just tell us everything? Start from the beginning.” Dean interrogated. Adam took a deep breath, rubbing his hands on his thighs.

“Well, I was dead and in Heaven. ‘Cept it...it uh, kinda looked like my proma and I was making out with this girl. Her name was Kristin McGee-” Dean smiled at him.

“Yeah, that sounds like heaven. Did you get to third base?”

“Just, uh, just keep going.” Sam requested, stopping that conversation before it could start.

“Well, these….these angels, they popped out of nowhere, and they tell me that I-I’m chosen.”

“For what?”

“To save the world.” Dean and Sam glanced at one another.

“How you gonna do that?”

“Oh me and some archangel are going to kill the devil.” Adam announced snarkily, displaying the Winchester attitude.

“Which archangel?”

“Michael. I’m his uh, sword or vessel or something. I don’t know.” Dean stared at Adam, seeming very confused and almost offended.

“Well that’s insane.”

“Not necessarily.” Castiel mumbled and Dean looked up at her.

“How do you mean?”

“Maybe they're moving on from you, Dean.”

“Well that doesn't make sense.”

“He is John Winchester's bloodline, Sam's brother. It's not perfect, but it's possible.”

“Well you gotta be kidding me.” Dean scoffed and Sam spoke out.

“Why would they do this?”

“Maybe they're desperate.” Castiel reasoned, turning a glare to him. “Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them.”

“Alright, you know what? Blow me, Cas.” Dean snapped, turning fully in his chair towards her. Castiel stiffened up, her hands bawling into fists as she glared right back at Dean. Oh how she wanted to break his nose. Sensing the tension, Sam stepped in.

“Look, no way. After everything that’s happened? All that crap about destiny? Suddenly the angels had a Plan B? Does that smell right to anybody?”

“You know, this has been a really moving family reunion, but uh, I got a thing. So-” Adam started to stand up, but Sam stood faster and held his hand up to block Adam’s path.“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no. Sit down. Just listen, okay? Please.” He requested and Adam groaned.

“It's unbelievable.”

“Now, Adam…the angels are lying to you. They're full of crap.”

“Yeah, I don't think so.”

“Really. Why not?”

“Um, 'cause they're angels.” Sam shook his head some.

“They tell you they were gonna roast half the planet?” Adam nodded.

“They said the fight might get pretty hairy, but it is the devil, right? So we got to stop him.”

“Yeah, but there's another way.”

“Great. What is it?” Dean beat Sam to answering.

“We're working on "the power of love." Adam pressed his lips into a fine line.

“How's that going?”

“Mmm. Not good.” Dean mused bitterly. Sam stopped both of them from talking.

“Look, Adam…You don't know me from a hole in the wall, I know. But I'm begging you. Please, just trust me. Give me some time.”

“Give me one good reason.” Challenged Adam.

“Because we're blood.” The answer seemed to absolutely infuriate Adam.

“You've got no right to say that to me.” Bobby finally spoke up after a long time of silence.

“You're still John's boy.” Adam turned his angry glare to the crippled man.

“No, John Winchester was some guy who took me to a baseball game once a year. I don't have a dad. So we may be blood, but we are not family. My mom is my family. And if I do my job, I get to see her again. So no offense, but she's the one I give a rat's ass about. Not you.” Sam nodded slowly.

“Fair enough. But if you have one good memory of dad, just one, then you'll give us a little more time. Please.” Adam was quiet before yielding to the brothers.

Castiel, under the suggestion of Bobby and Sam, took Dean down to the panic room. They needed to keep him on lockdown until things were settled. Dean glanced around the room, then let his eyes fall onto the intense and frustrated gaze that was all over Castiel’s face. He couldn’t stop himself from commenting.

“Well, Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that….I got laid.” He smirked mockingly as her eyes narrowed further. Sam cleared his throat slightly, looking at the fallen angel.

“Uh, why don’t you, uh, go keep an eye on Adam?” He suggested. Castiel sent Dean one last glare before turning and left to watch the youngest Winchester. A long stretch of time passed, making it dark outside the home, when it was Cas’s turn to check on Dean. As she headed down the stairs, she heard a crash come from the panic room and she shuffled towards the door. Opening it slowly, Cassie stepped inside, looking around for a moment.

“Dean?” She called to him, but there was no answer. “Dean?” Her second call got a response, but not the one that she was expecting.

“Cas.” Dean called back and she looked to him. He had a banishing sigil painted on the cabinet door in his blood. Castiel’s eyes widened, surprise and betrayal crossing her face before she was shot back to Heaven. As soon as she was there, Castiel left. She was a wanted woman after all, and Dean just sent her into the arms of the people who wanted to kill her. So it was only natural that when she returned to Earth, all she could see was red. She was able to locate Dean because the bastard when to a preacher to call for the other angels. Dean was just so lucky she got there first. Or, unlucky.

“Our father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name-”

“You pray too loud.” Castiel interrupted, placing two fingers on the preacher’s head to knock him out cold. Immediately after, Cas turned her practically murderous scowl to Dean, who took a step back in fear. His eyes widened in alarm when she grabbed the collar of his coat to throw him into an alley. She slammed him against the wall, her knuckles turning white from how tight she was holding onto his collar. She held him there firmly, ignoring the grunts of pain and protest.

“What, are you crazy?!” Dean asked and she growled at him. She yanked him off that wall only to throw him into the opposite one.

“I rebelled for this?!” She screamed at him, grabbing his shoulder to straighten up his hunched form. When she saw his face, she landed two forceful blows to the area then returned her grip to his coat collar. “So that you could surrender to them?” She slammed him back against the wall once more, her face inches from his. Fury burned bright in her eyes to the point where she cared little for the look of fear from Dean. She dragged him off that wall and tossed him into another, slamming her fist into his gut then right under his diaphragm. She straightened him up again, blood dripping down his lip.

“Cas! Please!” He begged her, but she didn’t listen. Slamming him into another wall, Cas held him there, pinned with her arm almost right on his neck. In turn, Dean had moved his arm so it was across her chest in an attempt to try and push her back. But she held firm.

“I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.” Castiel yanked him off the wall and stood him up before her. She threw another punch to his face, the force of the blow causing him to stumble. She lifted her leg quickly, her foot colliding with his chest and sending him flying back against the metal fence in the very back of the alley. Dean crumpled to the ground, coughing and laying on his side as Cas stalked over to him. She stood before him, her fists clenched just as tight as before, but now his blood covered the pale skin. He had begun to push himself up, but stopped when he looked at her fists, then back to her face.

“Do it.” He challenged as Castiel took quick breaths through her nose. “Just do it!” He wanted her to finish him off. He wanted to die. The realization of this caught Cas off guard, and her hands unclenched. She stared down at him, her expression remaining angry, but now shock and sadness were hidden underneath that emotion. Dean didn’t want to fight anymore, she realized. She knew he was tired of fighting the angels, but she only just figured out that he didn’t want to fight life anymore either. Castiel reached forward and placed two fingers on his shoulder, using her power to render him unconscious. As he lay below her, not moving, Cassie hesitated. What was she hesitating for? She didn’t know, but she just stared down at his body for a good length of time. Finally, she reached down and took hold of his arm, slinging it over her shoulders to hoist him up. She flew them both back to Bobby’s just in time to catch the tail end of Bobby’s and Sam’s conversation about how Adam vanished.

“Because the angels took him.” She answered, her voice surprising both men. They grew equally alarmed as they were surprised when the saw the state Dean was in.

“What the hell happened to him?” Sam asked worriedly.

“Me.” She offered no other explanation as she dragged Dean’s body to the same spot that she had dropped Adam’s several hours earlier.

“What do you mean the angel took Adam? You branded his ribs, didn’t you?” Bobby asked as he wheeled into the study from the kitchen.

“Yes. Adam must have tipped them.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. Maybe in a dream.”

“Well, where would they have taken him?” Same asked. Castiel looked down at Dean, studying him.

“Most likely where they held Dean. When he wakes, you should ask him.” She stated, and Sam nodded.

“We should take him with us.” The statement caused both Bobby and Cas to look at him.

“That is an awful idea.” Bobby protested.

“I agree. We’d be hand delivering him to Michael. And seeing as he is practically begging to say yes-”

“I know, I know.” Sam cut her off. “But we need him, broken or not.” Castiel stared at Sam before looking back down to Dean. She practically growled at his sleeping form when she turned away from all of them, muttering about how the Winchesters seemed to be the cause of her misery. She did not want to deal with Dean when he woke. She had been in the kitchen when Dean had awoken and was taken downstairs with Sam so they could speak. Sam must’ve said the right things to him, because when they came back up they were both ready to leave. Without saying a word, Castiel transported both the boys and herself to the warehouse that Dean was kept in. Dean stared at the rugged building in confusion.

“Where the hell are we?”

“Van Nuys, California.” Cas answered and Dean looked to her.

“Where’s the beautiful room?” Castiel gestured with her head to the warehouse.

“In there.”

“The beautiful room is in an abandoned muffler factory in Van Nuys, California?” Cassie narrowed her eyes in confusion.

“Where'd you think it was?”

“I—I don't know. Jupiter? A blade of grass? Not Van Nuys.” Sam spoke to her next.

“Tell me again why you don't just grab Adam and shazam the hell out of there.”

“Because there are at least five angels in there.” She grunted.

“So? You're fast.”

“They're faster.” Castiel slipped off her tie and wrapped it around her palm. “I'll clear them out. You two grab the boy. This is our only chance.” Dean stared at her.

“Whoa, wait. You're gonna take on five angels?”

“Yes.”

“Isn't that suicide?” Dean seemed genuinely concerned for her despite the fact that she handed his ass to him not too long ago. She glared at him and stepped up to him.

“Maybe it is. But then I won't have to watch you fail. I'm sorry, Dean. I don't have the Same faith in you that Sam does.” Castiel pulled a box cutter out of her trench-coat pocket. Sam and Dean shifted nervously.

“What the hell are you gonna do with that?” She didn’t spare them another glance as she began to unbutton her shirt. Dean and Sam’s eyebrows shot up to their hairlines and they shared looks as the skin of her chest and stomach were exposed. Castiel began using the box cutter's blade to carve the banishing sigil into her vessel’s body. She winced and hissed at the pain, and she pretended not to notice the slight step forward Dean took towards her when she had started carving up her body. Once the sigil was fully drawn, she closed back up her shirt and straightened herself out. She sent one last glare to Dean then turned and entered the warehouse. The doors closed right behind her and she turned to look at them. She resumed her path to the boxed room within the warehouse and once she had made it to the door, her body sent her warning signs. Her eyes widened and she ducked quickly just as an angel swung at her. She spun around to face him, taking hold of the wrist that held the angel blade. She used his own force plus her’s to plunge the blade into his thigh. He cried out for a moment before Cassie removed the blade and aimed for his heart. He lifted his arm to block her, but she was stronger than him. She had him on the ground and the angel blade in his heart not long after that. Castiel panted softly as she looked around when she heard angels whispering around her. She just needed to find them. Getting to her feet, Cas started walking in any direction to get those angels moving. It seemed that her plan worked, for when she spun around, she found one of the four angels standing behind her. He was in a defensive stance, his angelic blade held at the ready. She turned her head to the right, spotting another angel there. After that, the angels surrounded her. Her eyes darted between all of them, yet no one made a move.

“What are you waiting for?” She challenged, letting her blade slip from her hand and fall onto the ground. “Come on.” The angels moved in quickly once she had become defenseless. Castiel ripped open her shirt once they were close enough and placed her hand over it. A bright light came from her body, sending all the angels back to the outfield. Castiel included.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having way too much fun with this.


	7. Swan Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Apocalypse looming in a showdown between good and evil, Sam and Dean realize they are out of options.  
> *UPDATE* Grammar and spelling errors fixed.

_ On April 21, 1967, the 100 millionth GM vehicle rolled off the line at the plant in Janesville -- a blue two-door Caprice. There was a big ceremony, speeches. The lieutenant governor even showed up. Three days later, another car rolled off that Same line. No one gave two craps about her. But they should have, because this 1967 Chevrolet Impala would turn out to be the most important car -- no, the most important object-- in pretty much the whole universe. She was first owned by Sal Moriarty, an alcoholic with two ex-wives and three blocked arteries. On weekends, he'd drive around giving Bibles to the poor "gettin' folks right for Judgment Day." That's what he said. Sam and Dean don't know any of this, but if they did, I bet they'd smile. After Sal died, she ended up at Rainbow Motors, a used-car lot in Lawrence, where a young marine bought her on impulse. That is, after a little advice from a friend. I guess that's where this story begins. And here's where it ends _ .

Here’s where it ends, indeed. Dean had agreed with Sam’s idea to trick the Devil back into the cage, yet Cas wasn’t too hopeful. Still, she moved along with them. They, of course, needed demon blood to give Sam the edge he would need to fight Lucifer, and so she found herself loading empty milk jugs filled with the blood into the back of the Impala. Dean had walked over to Bobby as she and Sam loaded up the last of the blood.

“I still can’t get used to you at eye level.” Dean teased the elder no longer bound to a wheelchair. Bobby ignored the comment.

“So, was I right?” Dean took a breath.

“As always, Yoda. Two stunt demons inside, just like you said.”

“Did you get it?”

“Yeah. All the ‘go juice’ Sammy can drink.” He fell silent, glancing over at his car. Bobby looked at the boy intently.

“You okay?” Dean pursed his lips, shaking his head.

“Not really. What do you got?” Changing the subject was normal when Dean didn’t want to talk about a problem. Bobby sighed.

“Not much. These look like omens to you?” He asked as he handed a newspaper to Dean. “Cyclone in Florida, temperature drop in Detroit, wildfires in L.A.-” Dean’s brows creased.

“Wait, what about Detroit?”

“Temp’s dropped about twenty degrees, but only in a five-block radius of downtown Motown.” A knowing look of realization passed Dean’s face. He pointed to that article.

“That’s the one. Devil’s in Detroit.”

“Really?” Asked Bobby. “As far as foreboding goes, it’s a little light in the loafers. You sure?” Dean took a deep breath through his nose, nodding some.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” The group agreed to break down, Bobby suggesting that Cas ride with the boys. She ended up in the backseat, but she wasn’t too worried about that. She had laid her head against the window, staring out it before unwilling falling asleep. She wasn’t asleep too long before the voices of the boys woke her slightly.

“You know what I mean. Detroit. He always said he'd jump your bones in Detroit. Here we are.” Castiel didn’t move, afraid they’d stop talking if they realized she was awake.

“Here we are.” Sam repeated.

“Maybe this is him rolling out the red carpet, you know? Maybe he knows something that we don't.” Sam scoffed.

“Dean, I'm sure he knows a buttload we don't. We just got to hope he doesn't know about the rings. Hey, um... on the subject, there's something I got to talk to you about.” Sam cleared his throat some, shifting in his seat.

“What?”

“This thing goes our way and I...Triple Lindy into that box... y-you know I'm not coming back.” The air in the car thickened and Dean was silent for a time.

“Yeah, I'm aware.”

“So you gotta promise me something.”

“Okay. Yeah. Anything.”

“You gotta promise not to try to bring me back.” Cas peeked through her eyelashes at them to see Dean looking at Sam.

“What? No, I didn't sign up for that.”

“Dean --” He was cut off.

“Your Hell is gonna make my tour look like Graceland. You want me just to sit by and do nothing?”

“Once the Cage is shut, you can't go poking at it, Dean. It's too risky.” He had a point, and Cas knew Dean knew this but he was fighting it anyway.

“No, no, no, no, no. As if I'm just gonna let you rot in there.”

“Yeah, you are. You don't have a choice.”

“You can't ask me to do this.”

“I'm sorry, Dean. You have to.”

“So then what am I supposed to do?”

“You go find Lisa. You pray to god she's dumb enough to take you in, or stay with Cas. Just you and her and you -- you have barbecues and go to football games. You go live some normal, apple-pie life together, Dean. Promise me.” Sam requested and Castiel stiffened. Stay with her? He was sure that she was going to survive this battle. At least one of them thought that. Cas was not as hopeful as Sam seemed to be. Castiel and Dean stayed quiet in their thoughts, but Cas eventually fell back into, luckily, a dreamless sleep. Once they arrived, they parked in an alley and Sam gently woke her. When she spotted Bobby, he was looking through a pair of binoculars at a building. The form of a man was standing in the window, and Cas was pretty sure she knew who that was. Not long after his observations, Bobby walked over to the three of them.

“Demons. At least two dozen of them. You were right. Something’s up.”

“More than something. He’s here. I know it.” Dean walked to the trunk of the Impala, opening it up as Sam said his goodbyes to Bobby. Cas watched on, but shuffled from  foot to foot when Sam approached her with his hand held out to her.

“Take care of these guys, okay?”

“That’s not possible.” The look on Sam’s face made Castiel wish that she had thought before she spoke.

“Then humor me.”

“Oh. I was supposed to lie. Uh...sure. They’ll be fine.” She tried and Sam just chuckled a bit.

“Just….just stop talking.” She smiled sadly at him and took his hand, then let him walk to the trunk of the Impala. Dean had walked up next to her as his brother requested him to go. He leaned against his car along with her, his arms folded over his chest. She looked up to his face, studying his expression with a concerned one of her own. Her staring caught his attention, pulling his own down to her.

“What?” He asked, but Cas said nothing. The two stared at one another for a time, building her confidence to act. Thanks to the boys, Cas knew a little bit on how to comfort people. Physical touch seemed to be the key factor in all forms she knew of. She was hesitant, but she reached up slowly to place her hand on his shoulder. He stiffened under her touch, and so Cas believed that he was not happy with it. She retracted her hand from him, but Dean seemed to have wanted that comfort. As soon as she had moved her hand away, Dean grasped it gently. Castiel stared at their hands for a moment, not sure what to do or how to act next but neither did Dean. The two stood awkwardly for a time, Dean still holding her hand. Strange enough, Cas seemed to figure out how to act before Dean did. She lowered their arms to their sides, her fingers tangling with his. Dean watched her closely and Castiel was unsure why her face felt hot and why her heart was pounding against her ribs and eardrums. His thumb gently brushed over her skin, earning a hard swallow from the angel. The sound seemed to earn a chuckle from Dean. He opened his mouth to say something when Sam cleared his throat and closed the trunk. Dean and Castiel quickly let go of one another’s hand, Dean keeping it together better than Cas was at this moment. He pushed himself off the side of the car and looked to his brother. Sam took a deep breath.

“Okay. Let's go.” Sam walked past Dean. After a moment Dean followed him, but not before stealing one last look at Castiel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ The Impala, of course, has all the things other cars have... and a few things they don't. But none of that stuff's important. This is the stuff that's important. The army man that Sam crammed in the ashtray - it's still stuck there. The Legos that Dean shoved into the vents -- to this day, heat comes on and they can hear 'em rattle. These are the things that make the car theirs -- really theirs. Even when Dean rebuilt her from the ground up, he made sure all these little things stayed, 'cause it's the blemishes that make her beautiful. The Devil doesn't know or care what kind of car the boys drive. _

Bobby and Castiel were watching the building when the windows of the building blazed with light, then dimmed. Seeing this, Castiel’s only thought was on Dean and his wellbeing. They waited for a time before Dean emerged alone. Castiel took a few, hesitant steps forward, but froze at the look on Dean’s face. It didn’t work. Lucifer was in his true vessel now. They were doomed. Dean stopped in front of both of them, but was staring at the ground with glassy eyes. Bobby had to look away from Dean, tears in his own eyes. Cassie was the only one to move. She walked to Dean and slipped her arms around him, hugging him close to her. This was what humans did when they were sad, happy, scared, or really any other emotion. So she hoped it would help him as well. Dean reacted by shakily lifting his arms to rest his hands on the backs of her shoulders and burying his face in her shoulder. Cas understood now why humans liked hugging so much. She held him for a moment, but then silently encouraged him to moved back into the car. The two humans and angel stayed in their cars the rest of the night in silence. No one slept. So when the sun rose and people were on the streets again, they all climbed out and moved to the nearest store that had the news playing. A news reporter’s voice spoke through.  _ “Reports are flooding in -- a 7.6 earthquake in Portland, 8.1 in Boston, more in Hong Kong, Berlin, and Tehran. The U.S.G.S. has no explanation but says to expect a six-figure death toll.” _ They all stared at the screen.

“It's starting.” Cas muttered.

“Yeah, you think, genius?” Dean’s sarcasm wasn’t funny or light this time. He was cold and angry. Castiel looked to him, her brows creased.

“You don't have to be mean.” Dean took a breath.

“So what do we do now?”

“I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol... Just wait for the inevitable blast wave.” Cas suggested and Dean stared at her.

“Yeah, swell. Thank you, Bukowski. I-I mean, how do we stop it?” Castiel turned to him fully.

“We don't. Lucifer will meet Michael on the chosen field, and the battle of Armageddon begins.”

“Okay, well, where's this chosen field?”

“I don't know.”

“Well, there's gotta be something that we can do.” Cassie gave him a despondent look.

“I'm sorry, Dean. This is over.” Dean glared at her some.

“You listen to me, you junkless sissy -- we are not giving up! Bobby? Bobby?” When the elder didn’t answer, Dean looked to him. He had a similar look to Cas.

“There was never much hope to begin with. I don't know what to do.”

~~~~~~~~

_ In between jobs, Sam and Dean would sometimes get a day -- sometimes a week, if they were lucky. They'd pass the time lining their pockets. Sam used to insist on honest work, but now he hustles pool, like his brother. They could go anywhere and do anything. They drove 1,000 miles for an Ozzy show, two days for a Jayhawks game. And when it was clear, they'd park her in the middle of nowhere, sit on the hood, and watch the stars... for hours... without saying a word. It never occurred to them that, sure, maybe they never really had a roof and four walls… _

_...but they were never, in fact, homeless. _

Dean had vanished a little while after that talk to the point where they couldn’t find him for a long time. But when they did locate him, he was loading up the Impala.

“You goin' someplace?” Bobby asked and Dean looked at him with a look they all knew very well. “You're goin' to do somethin' stupid. You got that look.”

“I'm gonna go talk to Sam.” Bobby stared with wide, worried eyes.

“You just don't give up.”

“It's Sam!” Castiel cut in to hopefully break through to him.

“If you couldn't reach him here, you're certainly not gonna be able to on the battlefield.” He just gave her a small smile.

“Well, if we've already lost, I guess I got nothing to lose, right?” She was beginning to get desperate to keep him close. She stepped forward to him, not tearing her eyes from his.

“I just want you to understand -- the only thing that you're gonna see out there is Michael killing your brother.” Dean just stared back, his look filling her heart with dread. He wasn’t giving in.

“Well, then I ain't gonna let him die alone.” He whispered. Before Dean could get into his car, Cas grabbed his arm. 

“Dean, please-” She was completely cut off in a way neither Bobby nor herself were expecting. Dean was facing her again, his hands on both sides of her face and his lips against her own. Her eyes widened as she stood frozen, unsure what she was supposed to do next. Her brain was in overload while her heart seemed to stop. Once he realized he had effectively stopped Castiel from holding him back, Dean turned away and entered his car quickly. He started it up and drove off, leaving Cas and Bobby to stare after him. Bobby looked to Cas when the Impala was no longer in sight. That…..asshat. They couldn’t let him do this alone now. Castiel glared at the distance in front of her then turned her glare at Bobby. “Get in the car.” She ordered. They were going after him. 

They arrived a bit late, but Castiel scrambled out of the car with a molotov cocktail in her hand as soon as they had arrived. She ran closer to them just as Michael advanced on Dean.

“You little maggot. You are no longer a part of this story!”

“Hey, ass-butt!” Cas called, grabbing everyone’s attention before she threw the bottle at Michael. It shattered against her eldest brother, covering him in holy fire. His scream echoed around them, his body soon vanishing. Dean looked to Cas, his brows furrowed and his expression shocked.

"Ass-butt"?” He asked and Cassie took a few deep breaths.

“He'll be back -- and upset -- but you got your five minutes.”

“Castiel.” Lucifer’s voice caught her attention and she looked up at him, her eyes wide. “Did you just Molotov our brother with holy fire?” She swallowed hard.

“Uh... no.” She lied, shrinking back some.

“No one dicks with Michael but me.” Lucifer snapped his fingers and Castiel exploded in a rain of blood and chunks of meat. She wasn’t too sure what happened next. But before she knew it, she was whole again. She looked down at herself, breathing heavily for a moment as she moved her hands along her body to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. She could feel her power returned to her. She wasn’t cut off from Heaven anymore. She felt new and strong. Castiel lifted her eyes to see Dean kneeling on the ground near the Impala, and was suddenly reminded as to why this wasn’t such a happy moment. Her shoulders drooped some, but she walked up next to him. Seeming to feel eyes on him, Dean lifted his battered head to look at her. His eyes widened the most they could.

“Cas, you're alive?” He asked and she smiled slightly at him.

“I'm better than that.” She placed two fingers on his forehead, healing all his wounds. Dean looked to be in shock, but he shakily got to his feet. He looked her up and down for a moment.

“Cas, are you God?” She smiled a bit more at that.

“That's a nice compliment. But no. Although, I do believe he brought me back.” Cassie turned away from him and headed towards Bobby’s lifeless form. “New and improved.” She leaned down and placed her hand on Bobby’s head, resurrecting him. She smiled at him once he woke, feeling the change around all of them.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ Endings are hard. Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning, but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always gonna be holes. And since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you, they're a raging pain in the ass. _

Dean and Castiel sat together in the Impala, Dean driving down an unknown road.

“What are you gonna do now?” Dean asked softly. Castiel sighed some, staring out the window.

“Return to Heaven, I suppose.”

“Heaven?”

“With Michael in the Cage, I'm sure it's total anarchy up there.”

“So, what, you're the new Sheriff in town?” Castiel smiled some.

“I like that. Yeah. I suppose I am.”

“Wow. God gives you a brand-new, shiny set of wings, and suddenly you're his bitch again.” Castiel’s smile fell and she looked to him, her brows furrowed in confusion and offense.

“I don't know what God wants. I don't know if he'll even return. It just... seems like the right thing to do.”

“Well, if you do see him, you tell him I'm coming for him next.” Cas stared at him and Dean turned his head slightly to look back at her.

“You're angry.” He chuckled bitterly.

“That's an understatement.”

“He helped. Maybe even more than we realize.”

“That's easy for you to say. He brought you back. But what about Sam? What about me, huh? Where's my grand prize? All I got is my brother in a hole!” Castiel stared harder at him.

“You got what you asked for, Dean. No paradise. No hell. Just more of the same.” She reminded him, and he pressed his lips together tightly. “I mean it, Dean. What would you rather have? Peace or freedom?” Castiel took her leave of Dean, then. She had worked to do and she did not expect to see him again. Though one thing kept raging through her mind. There was one thing she couldn’t stop reimagining and tried to find its meaning. In her arrogance, she knew she had to do something for Dean. Castiel returned to Earth not too long after telling the angels that they were free to do as they wished. She raised Sam from the cage, not knowing she left a piece behind. She followed close behind the stoney man as she knew he would lead her to Dean.

_This is the last Dean and Bobby will see of each other for a very long time. And, for the record, at this point next week, Bobby will be hunting a rugaru outside of Dayton. But not Dean. Dean didn't want Cas to save him. Every part of him, every fiber he's got, wants to die, or find a way to bring Sam back. But he isn't gonna do either. Because he made a promise._ _So, what's it all add up to? It's hard to say. But me, I'd say this was a test... for Sam and Dean. And I think they did all right. Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point?_

When they found him, Dean was sitting at Lisa's table with Ben. Lisa brought a dish to the table, the three smiling and talking. The smile fell from Cas’s lips as she stared at the scene. She looked to Sam, who she was invisible to, and he just stared at the family as well. But unlike her, he turned away and walked down the street. She watched him go, briefly, then turned back to Dean. A hard weight wormed its way into her heart and her expression became stoic. She had something more important to take care of, rather than Dean. There was a lot more important that Dean. She had work to do.

_ No doubt -- endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it? _


	8. Caged Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The demon Meg kidnaps Sam and Dean for information on Crowley. Sam offers to help if she'll help get his soul back.  
> *UPDATE* Grammar and spelling errors fixed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season 6, episode 10. "Caged Heat"  
> I don't think I will go in chronological order on this. I might write some from season 7 next and go back to 6. Not sure yet.

The war in Heaven was getting worse, much worse than Castiel could’ve ever imagined. When this deal was brought to her, this idea, she hadn’t even dreamed of the end results. Battle after battle raged on in the fields of Heaven, crossing over from one human’s to the next. The death toll growing with every passing minute, with each battle. Each stroke of a blade ended yet another angel’s life and more often than not, Castiel found herself the wielder of that blade. She fought with her brothers and sisters in arms in the Heaven of a teenage girl who died in a car crash, running along the fields where the girl was picnicking with her family. She threw up her left arm to catch the offensive angel’s arm; effectively stopping his attack. Using her right hand, Cas slashed upwards across the angel’s arm. The cut glowed a light blue and the angel blade was dropped from his hand. Ignoring the scream from her brother, Castiel pulled on his arm she still held to bring him into her blade. The blade pierced through his neck. The resulting effect was one Castiel was, regretfully, getting used to as the grace snuffed out. She took a few steps back, panting softly as she stared down at the body. Her eyes lifted and looked around the fields, watching her siblings slatter one another. Her brows creased sorrowfully. How did they get here? Her attention was pulled from the battle by the familiar voice of Sam Winchester praying to her. He was calling for her help, but she was a bit busy at the moment. Another angel made a move for her and she crouched down under her swing. Cas moved her arm rapidly, slicing across her legs before kicking her feet out from under her. She pushed herself up and over the other, her blade aimed for her heart. The other angel held her arms up, halting Castiel’s attack as the two struggled for the upper hand. Her focus was pulled away once again by Sam’s voice. She listened to his prayer this time.

“Castiel, we need you. It’s important.” He paused in his prayer, and Castiel broke away from the angel’s block. She swung her fist at her face. It collided with the right side of her head and disorientated her just long enough for Cas to grip her blade with both hands and force it between her ribs. Another angel’s life wasted.

“Cas, we found something.” Cas tilted her head as she listened to Sam’s voice. “It’s this gold box. Apparently Nazis were after it back in the day, someone opened it and their face melted off. I think it’s-ready for this-the Ark of the Covenant. Yeah. So…” Castiel’s eyes widened and she got to her feet.

“Ezekiel! Take over!” She ordered to her comrade. Only after he nodded in acknowledgement did Cas fly down to Earth, right behind the very tall Winchester. “I’m here, Sam. Where’s the box?” She asked him, still panting subtly. Sam turned around quickly to look at her, his expression one of disbelief.

“I can’t believe you fell for that. That was the plot of Raiders, idiot.” Cas let out a frustrated sigh, sending him an irritated glare.

“I’m mid-battle, Sam.” She hissed. Sam simply shook his head and took a few steps towards her.

“I could give a rat’s ass about your little pissing match with Raphael.” Cassie looked him over with offense at his attitude towards her.

“Listen to me, Sam-” He cut her lecture off.

“No, you listen! I don’t care what you’re dealing with up in Heaven. You owe me.” Her brows furrowed.

“You may not care, but believe me-” He didn’t seem to be letting her say anything.

“I’m sorry, do you think we’re here to talk this out?” She gritted her teeth, gesturing outwards.

“Sam, I can’t just-”

“If you don’t help us, I will hunt you down and kill you.” Castiel stopped, her arm lowering slowly. With narrowed eyes, she approached him with a warning glare.

“Will you, boy? How” She challenged, but Samuel didn’t even blink. He stared her right back in the eyes.

“I don’t know yet. But I will look until I find out, and I don’t sleep.” Cas studied him carefully. Even for someone without a soul, he was seeming…..off.

“You need help, Sam.” She commented.

“I need  _ your _ help.” He emphasized. Staring for a moment longer, Cas sighed and relented to the Winchester. She allowed him to guide her into the all too familiar home of Bobby Singer, and into the kitchen. Sitting at the table was a rather impressed Dean, looking at the pair in surprise.

“You actually showed. Wow, Sam. I owe you a chicken dinner.” He mused. “What happened?” Sam held his arms out, giving a small shrug of his shoulders.

“No big. This is what friends do for each other.” Castiel slowly looked up to him, her brows creased as she stared incredulously at him. Yet, she said nothing. Shaking her head slightly, she looked back at Dean who had asked her to help them locate Crowley. She moved about the house with them, gathering all they needed for the spell and placing them on the table. She lit a match and dropped it into the finished bowl, watching the ingredients spark slightly then fizzle out. Tilting her head at the spell, Cas shook her head in confusion.

“It’s not working.” She explained, lifting her eyes to look at the boys. “Crowley’s hidden from me.” Dean sighed.

“Well, it looks like we’re gonna have to try this the hard way.” Dean motioned for everyone to get ready to head out, but gave Cas the location of the Campbell Compound so she could fly there. When all three arrived, Cas was able to teleport them inside the office to begin their search for clues. They weren’t in there too long, managing to look through a few books and maps, when the lights cut on and footsteps echoed close by. All heads turned towards the sound, finding Samuel Campbell walking towards them slowly with a gun raised. When he seemed to realize who they were, he let out an annoyed huff while uncocking his gun and lowering it to his side.

“Can I help you?” Their grandfather asked. “What do you want?”

“We wanna know where Crowley is.” Samuel scoffed.

“If I even knew, why would I tell you?”

“Cause you’re our grandfather.” Sam targeted Samuel with this intense, empty gaze. “Samuel, I’m going to get my soul back.”

“Who says you can get it back?”

“Me.”

“Look, I'd like to help, but I'm sorry.”

“It's your grandson's soul.”

“I can't.”

“What is wrong with you? Do you wanna work for Crowley?” Samuel looked up at Dean, who sighed and looked to her. “Cas, can you give us a minute?” Castiel nodded slightly to him before vanishing. Unsure where to go, Cas sat herself in the back of the Impala and waited a rather long while until both boys came marching angrily out of the compound. They said nothing as they climbed in the car and started to drive, and she didn’t ask.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel was sitting on the couch in a rundown house, watching TV while Sam and Dean did research at the table. She leaned closer to the screen, her head tilted as she watched the strange show.

“It’s very complex.” She commented and Dean hummed.

“Mm-hmm.”

“If the pizzaman truly loves this babysitter,” Her question wasn’t even finished before the boys slowed lifted their heads, first looking at one another, and then her “why does he keep slapping her rear?” She was quiet briefly. “Perhaps she’s done something wrong.” Sam shifted uncomfortably as Dean lowered his head in defeat, taking a breath.

“You’re watching porn?” He asked and she looked at him for a quick second then returned her eyes to the television. “Why?”

“It was there.” She answered simply, leaning in a bit more and squinting her eye. She was having a difficult time understanding what was happening with this show.

“You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes. And you don't talk about it.” Cassie looked up to him again. “Just turn it off.” Castiel looked back at the screen before she too, began shifting uncomfortably, pressing her legs tightly together. Dean threw his hands up some. “Well, now she's aroused.” He grumbled to his brother when a knock at the door grabbed their attention. Dean stood and answered it, stepping aside to let Samuel inside. Campbell looked towards Cas and the tv, seeming to sigh.

“This what you boys do, sit around watching pornos with angels?” He asked and Cas spoke up.

“We're not supposed to talk about it.” She didn’t catch Dean’s eyeroll.

“Why are you here, Samuel?” He asked. The elder let out a soft huff.

“It's what Mary would want. Now, this is what I know.” He pulled a folded up map out of his pocket and began to open it for them. “Whatever we bag ends up there.” He pointed to a spot that had two, red circles on it. Inside the larger circle was the smaller, second one that was colored in. “That's where he tortures 'em, interrogates 'em, I don't really know. Only been outside the places, but it's a death trap. Nothing gets in that Crowley doesn't want in and nothing gets out, period.”

“Well, thanks.” Samuel sighed.

“I wish you wouldn't do this.” Samuel turned away and walked towards the door when Sam called to him.

“Come with us.” Samuel paused and looked between all three of them.

“I may be soft, but I'm not suicidal.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two Hunters and their angel walked out to the meeting point where Meg and her demons were waiting for them. Meg’s eyes scanned Castiel up and down, a lustful look on her face.

“Remember me?” She asked. Cas glared at her distrustfully. “I sure remember you, Clarence.” Cas looked over to Sam and Dean, barely restraining a growl.

“Why are we working with these abominations?” She asked the boys accusingly. Meg smirked at her.

“Keep talking dirty. Makes my meat suit all dewy.” Dean stepped between the two women to stop the fight before it began.

“Alright, simmer down.” He ordered, reaching over to place a hand on Cassie’s shoulder. She spared him a glance before reluctantly taking a step back. “We know where Crowley is.”

“Great. Do tell.” Sam scoffed sarcastically.

“Yeah, tell you? So you can just leave us for dead?” Meg turned her eyes to him, pressing her tongue against the inside of her bottom lip in aggravation.

“You boys have serious abandonment issues, you know that?”

“We’ll show you, alright? But we’re all going together.”

“What? I’m just supposed to trust you?”

“No, you’re not that stupid.” Sam held his hand out to her. “Give me the knife for a minute.”

“No, I’m not that stupid.” She mocked snarkily.

“Do you want us to take you to Crowley or not?” His volume increased and Meg stared at him blankly. Cautiously, she reached behind her and pulled knife from its holster, placing the handle in his palm. Sam examined the weapon momentarily then suddenly plunged the serrated blade into the ribs of a demon who had been scowling at Dean this whole time. The group stepped back in shock, confusion, and mild disgust at Sam’s savagery.

“You saw him. He was more interested in killing us than getting the job done. I just did all of us a favor.” He stated firmly, moving to walk away from the group. Meg called out to him.

“Hey! You just gonna keep that?” He turned his vicious look back towards her.

“You took this from us. I’m taking it back. We leave in one hour.” They all looked between one another. Mef gave Cas a lecherous look, flicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth before walking away. Dean looked between the two, rolling his eyes. He then headed back inside to gather their packed bags for the hunt. Cas had followed him, but simply sat on the couch with a faraway gaze.

“You know, Cas, you could help.” Dean pointed out. She sighed.

“I’m ambivalent about what we’re attempting.” Dean stopped packed and looked up to her.

“Well, breaking into monster Gitmo is not exactly a two-for-one in the champagne room.”

“I’m not sure retrieving Sam’s soul is wise.” She finally confessed, but wouldn’t look at him. Even as she heard his footsteps moving towards her.

“Wait, what? Why?” Castiel exhaled before beginning to speak.

“I want him to survive.” Dean looked at her with a queer expression.

“What are you talking about?” She turned her gaze even further away from him, but stood to meet him halfway.

“Sam’s soul has been locked in the cage with Michael and Lucifer for more than a year. And they have nothing to do but take their frustrations out on him. You understand?” She quarried. “If we try to force that mutilated thing down Sam’s gullet, we have no idea what will happen. It could be catastrophic.”

“You mean he dies.”

“I mean he doesn’t.” She interjected. “Paralysis. Insanity. Psychic pain so profound that he’s locked inside himself for the rest of his life.”

“But you’re saying you don’t know anything for sure. I mean, he could be fine.” She sighed, lifting a hand to rub her forehead.

“He could be, yes.”

“Okay then.” He began to turn away.

“But I sincerely doubt it.”

“Well, if he’s not fine then you fix him.” She shook her head faintly.

“Dean. I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

“Then you figure it out, Cas. Come on.: He stepped closer to her and she tensed up in defense. Dean wouldn’t hurt her, but it was just a cautionary reaction. “I mean, the guy’s a frigging replicant. He needs his soul. Look, we get it back and if there are complications, then we will figure out a way to deal with those too.” Cas lowered her gaze.

“Of course.” Dean gave her a nod before turning away. He believed he had won this argument, until she responded. “Or we fail, and Sam suffers horrifically.” Dean stopped again, a duffle bag in his hands. She walked up to him, placing an uncertain hand on his back. “Dean, I need you to prepared for what is the most likely outcome of this.” Dean looked to her again.

“Which is what?” He almost snapped and she retracted her hand. “We get his soul, and he loses his mind? We don’t get his soul, and he stays as he is forever? Neither option is good, Cas. At least with the first we have a bit of hope that things can turn out good.” Cas gave him a small, sympathetic smile.

“When has your luck ever been that good?” She asked. She wasn’t trying to upset him. She was being realistic and wanted to give him the full truth. Dean’s expression fell, stoic now.

“Thanks, Cas.” He muttered sarcastically. Castiel let out a frustrated sigh.

“You know what I mean.” She stated. “I do not intend to upset you. I just want you to be prepared. Even my power has its limits.” She reminded and Dean stared down at her.

“Well, then find a way to boost yourself up for this. It’s important.” 

“Dean.” Castiel spoke sharply now. “I can’t both be here, giving all myself to you and your brother for your use, and be in Heaven keeping Raphael from restarting the Apocalypse.”

“Then be here!” 

“I told you once before that I am not here to perch on your shoulder, Dean! You fought well before you met me and you can do so while I try and stop a  _ civil war _ !” She shouted back at him. Dean’s brows furrowed. Cas had not shouted at him like this before, and his startled look caused her to falter. She sighed, closing her eyes briefly. “I’m sorry, Dean. I did not mean to shout.” Dean just nodded, pursing his lips.

“Yeah, you’re good.” He whispered. He couldn’t really fight back against her last statement without getting deep. But maybe that’s what he needed to do. “Look, Cas, you’re struggling. I get it. Really, I do.” Castiel smiled slightly at this, hopeful he was finally understanding her. “But we need you here. We can fight good without you. But with you?” He let out a short, quiet laugh. “We stopped the Apocalypse together. We couldn’t have won without you. So if you need more power, or strength, to be here and in Heaven, go for it. Just be here.” He begged of her. Castiel’s smile had long since fallen. She was staring up at him, her lips slightly parted as she was baffled by his words. Such acknowledgement had never been given to her outside of people wanting her to do something for them. And the way Dean spoke, it felt as if he really did want her with him but was too proud to say so. The two stood in silence, looking over one another’s faces.

“Hey, love birds, we have places to be! You better not be having sex in there!” Meg’s voice came from just outside the building, resulting in Dean putting some distance between one another. He rolled his eyes at the comment.

“Keep your panties on! We’re coming!” He called back, heading to the exit without looking at Cas. The angel watched the Hunter retreat to the door, letting out a long suffering sigh before following after him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The group of least likely partners approached the factory that Samuel had pointed out to them. No one seemed to be around, which was the first warning flag to go up. With the Impala parked in front of a barbed wire gate, they stared at the glowing windows of the building.

“Seems pretty quiet.” Dean commented.

“It’s not.” Cas countered, stepping forward. “I can feel it. Meet me at the side door.” She flew herself inside the building, right in front of the door she had ordered everyone to enter through. She waited only one minute before opening the door for them. Being the first to enter, Dean glanced around cautiously.

“This all seem a little too easy for you?” He asked the group. Sam nodded.

“Way too easy.” As they trekked further into the building, the silence and uneasy increased. Especially so when they reached a hallway filled with holding cells and the monsters inside them. A feminine voice called out to them as they walked by.

“Is someone there? Please. Please help me.” She begged. Dean looked to her, recognizing her rapidly as the Djinn that had attacked him when he first learned Sam was alive. “You gotta get me out of here. Please! You gotta get me out of here.” Dean paused, looking at her feeling conflicted. Sam looked to his brother and the Djinn before nudging Dean.

“Come on, Dean. We gotta move.” He reminded him. They had reached a long corridor with double doors at the end when a ripple ran through Castiel’s chest.

“Wait.” She ordered them, holding out her arms to stop them.

“What is it?” Dean questioned. As if answering his question themselves, the sounds of dogs barking and howling in the distance reached their ears.

“Damn it. Here come the guards.” Meg groaned.

“Hellhounds. Go!” Dean shouted, rushing everyone to the doors. Forcing them open, the angel and eldest Winchester closed the doors as Sam put down a salt line. The only ones who hadn’t made it had been the two demons that Meg brought with her. The sounds of their bodies being ripped apart and with blood splattering on the door windows let everyone know their fates. “I knew this was a trap.” Dean snarled and Meg looked at him.

“What do you want, a cupcake?” She mocked as Sam straightened up.

“Alright, that should keep them out.”

“Not for long. How many of them are there?”

“Lots. I’ll be pulling for you….from Cleveland.”

“What?!” Dean exclaimed.

“I didn't know this was gonna happen. Bright side: them chewing up my meat suit ought to buy you a few seconds. Seacrest out.” Meg tried to vacate her host body, but soon found herself trapped within it. She couldn’t smoke out, and when she couldn’t she looked to the others.

“A spell, I think. From Crowley. Within these walls you’re locked inside your body.” Dean smirked at Meg with a dark, satisfied expression on his face.

“Karma's a bitch, bitch.” The two glared as Sam took out Ruby's knife. Dean looked to it then to him. “What are you doing, gonna slash at thin air until you hit something?” Sam turned to Meg, disregarding his brother, and offered the blade out to her.

“You can see them. Take this. Hold them off. It's our best shot.”

“At Crowley. Take it and go. You kill the smarmy dick. I'll hold off the dogs.”

“How you gonna do that?” He asked. Meg grabbed Castiel by the neck in response, pulling her close for a kiss. Unknown to the angel, Meg had reached inside her trench coat to pickpocket her angel blade from her. The two broke off the kiss and Castiel stared at her momentarily. Not even two seconds later, Cas pushed her up against the wall and returned the kiss with deep interest. The boys stared wide eyed and caught off guard at the display. Neither knowing how to act. Cas slowly pulled away from her, staring the demon in the eyes. Meg stood frozen against the wall, trying to process what just happened. Cas took a few steps back, unsure what to do now.

“What was that?” Castiel swallowed nervously as she glanced at the boys, who were just staring at her with wide eyes, then looked back to Meg.

“I learned that from the pizza man.” She mumbled. Meg cleared her throat.

“Well, A+ for you. I feel so … clean.” She commented. Clearing her throat again, Meg held up the angel blade. “Okay, gotta go.” Cas looked to the blade then down at the spot where it had been in alarm.

“Whoa, whoa, is that gonna work on a hellhound?” Dean asked and Meg simply shrugged.

“Well, we're about to find out. Run.” The boys and Cas took off down the hallway as Meg faced the shaking doors and prepared to fight the hounds. The three found themselves in a black stairwell, descending while being attentive to how they stepped.

“Can't see jack.” Dean grumbled just before a blinding light filled the area and Castiel was forced off Earth and back to Heaven. She thanked her father for small miracles that she hadn’t appeared in the presence of Raphael nor in the middle of a battle. This made returning to Earth much easier, but no less harder. Mainly because of what she knew she had to do. With the item in hand, Castiel flew back to the factory. Right where she knew Crowley would have the boys. She glanced between them briefly as they were pinned, but turned all her attention onto Crowley.

“Leave them alone.” She ordered, a green duffle bag hanging from her grip. The demon looked to her, a taunting smirk on his face.

“Castiel. Haven’t seen you all season.” He jested. “You the cavalry now?”

“Put the knife down.” She ordered him once more and Crowley just stared.

“You that bossy in Heaven? Hear you’re losing out to Raphael. The whole affair makes Vietnam look like a roller derby.” While she remained stoic on the outside, inwardly, Castiel bristled. She looked down to the bag in her hand, directing Crowley’s attention to it as well. “Hey, what’s in the gift bag?” He mocked. Cas reached inside and removed human skull from it, a small smirk on her face.

“You are.” The smile on Crowley’s face fell instantaneously. 

“Not possible.”

“You didn’t hide your bones as well as you should have.” She mocked back. Crowley huffed but lowered Ruby’s knife. He tucked it under his arm to free his hands up for a sarcastic applause.

“Cookie for you.” With her small smirk still on her face, Cas placed the skull back into the bag then let it fall to the floor.

“Can you restore Sam’s soul or not?” She questioned and Crowley paused. Lifting a hand, he snapped his finger and freed the boys from their trap.

“If I could help out in any other-”

“Answer her!” Dean shouted, moving close to Castiel. The King of Hell fell quiet, looking between all three of them.

“I can’t.” 

Castiel tore her gaze from Crowley to stare down at the bag of bones, incinerating them. Crowley’s body became engulfed in flames just as the bag had and he let out a scream of agony. In a matter of moments, Crowley had burned away into a pile of smoldering ash. Sam and Dean stalked forward to where Meg was standing. Sam crouched down to grab the angel blade left behind in the ash pile. But when he looked back up, Meg had vanished.

“Well, she’s smart, I’ll give her that.” Dean commented. “I was gonna kill her, too.” He looked to Cas, a playful smirk on his face. “Course, I’d have given you an hour with her first.” Cassie gazed at him uncertainly.

“Why would I want that?” Dean’s brows creased as he looked at her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam, Dean, and Castiel stood by the Impala after exiting the factory. The two boys prepared to take off while Cas stood there with a distant look in her eyes.

“Thank, Cas. Hadn’t it been for you-”

“Crowley was right.” Cas cut Dean off, turning her eyes to him. “It’s not going well for me upstairs.” Dean shuffled uncertainly.

“If there’s anything we can do-”

“There isn’t.” She sighed. “I wish circumstances were different. Much of the time, I’d rather be here.” She implored as she looked Dean in the eyes. He offered her a soft, almost saddened smile.

“Look, Cas, we know you got a steaming pile on your plate. There's no need for apologies. We're your friends.” She took a breath.

“Listen, Sam, “ Cassie requested when she turned to look at him, “ we'll find another way.”

“You really wanna help?” Sam asked her, and she nodded. “Prison full of monsters. Can't just leave 'em, can't let 'em go.” Castiel nodded again.

“I understand.” Castiel disappeared with the sound of fluttering wings behind her, ready to lay waste to the building. She wished she could tell them the truth. She couldn’t bare to imagine the look on Dean’s face if he found out, and she knew he would. He always did.


	9. The Man Whou Would Be King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel tells Sam, Dean and Bobby about the war in Heaven and how she and Raphael became enemies.  
> *UPDATE* Grammar and spelling errors fixed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I've updated guys. I won't make any excuses, so here is the next chapter. Warning, though. This one does have mature content.

The park was beautiful, Castiel noted. Even with the light patches of snow that littered the ground around the cold, stone bench where she sat, Cas found beauty in the simple things of Earth. Her home outside of Heaven, she considered it. Dread filled her heart as she looked around, despite its beauty, as she thought of what Raphael would do to this planet if he won. It had pushed her actions since the start, but now that she had lost everyone who cared for her she wasn’t so sure what she was fighting for. Was this even the right path? She was so lost and confused, and even though she knew he was missing, Cas began a prayer to her father. Lowering her eyes to gaze at her limp hands in her lap, she took a deep breath to begin her plea. 

“You know, I’ve….I’ve been here for a very long time, and I remember many things.” She whispered to her father, a tiny smile forming at the corner of her mouth. A sweet memory of her walking a beach with Michael and Gabriel flashed in her mind’s eye. “I remember being at a shoreline, watching a little grey fish heave itself up on the beach. And an older brother saying, ‘Don’t step on that fish, Castiel. Big plans for that fish’.” She chuckled lightly. “I remember the Tower of Babel. All thirty-seven feet of it, which I suppose was impressive at the time. And when it fell, they howled ‘divine wrath’.” Castiel scoffed. “But come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high.” Her smile began to fade away while she continued to stare at her hands, her fingers rubbing together nervously. “I remember Cain and Abel. David and Goliath. Sodom. And Gomorrah. And of course, I remember the most remarkable event.” Castiel felt her shoulders tense as she pictured Sam and Dean in her mind, and the moment they defeated the Devil only one year ago. “Remarkable because it never came to pass. It was averted by two boys, an old drunk, and a fallen angel.” She smiled, but now it was bitter. “The grand story.” Castiel lifted her gaze ahead of her briefly but lowered them again in a mixture of guilt and pride. “And we ripped up the ending and rules, and destiny. Leaving nothing but freedom and choice. Which is all well and good, except….” She trailed off as her chest tightened and she bit her bottom lip. “Well, what if I’ve made the wrong choice?” She asked her father quietly. “How am I supposed to know?” As she waited a few seconds for an answer, she cleared her throat then sighed. “I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you my story.” Castiel requested, raising her eyes to the horizon in front of her. “Let me tell you everything.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean had been loading up his car to join Bobby and Sam in the hunt for Crowley when he heard her wings flutter. The soft gust of wind and tingling sensation throughout his body were just some of the physical signs of her arrival. Normally, he’d be glad to have her around, but now was not a good time. Not when he was going to have to lie to her through his teeth. Yet, he still couldn’t give her the truth while there was a small shadow of a doubt. Even if it was barely a grey shade of it. Dean glanced over his left shoulder while his hand held up the trunk of the Impala, a dark green duffle bag hanging off his right shoulder. She looked the same as ever, but no less beautiful. Her ebony hair was still in its messy, braided bun with a few strands falling around her face. Her trench coat was her usual one, the dark blood stains seeped deep into the fabric. Same business outfit, only now her tie was very loose and her suit jacket was gone. And her smile. That stunning smile that he found contagious rested on her lips as she looked at him.

“Hello, Dean.” She greeted softly. When he didn’t move for a while, her brows furrowed and her head tilted. “Are you alright?” Dean blinked rapidly, mentally kicking himself as he forced his body to move. He threw his bag into the trunk, closing the back before turning fully towards her. He smiled back, plastering on his false front.

“Yeah, I’m...I’m fine. How are you?” He questioned, leaning back against the car and crossing his arms over his chest. She approached him, wishing to close the distance that had been till now she stood at his left side. 

“Just checking in.” Cas sighed, shrugging slightly. She, too, leaned against the car next to him. While she had to see what he knew, she was still concerned for his welfare.

“So, any word on, uh, Satan Jr. being alive?” He asked. When she had moved next to him, Dean pushed himself off the car and walked around her. This was hard enough, lying to her face, that he preferred doing so when he couldn’t see her intense gaze. He opened the back driver’s side door to the Impala, acting as if he was busying himself. Cas watched him, unsure why Dean seemed to be avoiding her.

“I’m...looking, believe me.” She sighed, glancing to the dirt driveway outside a familiar abandoned house. “I just don’t understand how Crowley could’ve tricked me.” Cassie lied, lifting her gaze to Dean. She noted that he glanced at her from the back window only briefly.

“Well, he’s a tricky son of a bitch, that’s how.” Dean commented. “Doesn’t matter. But if he is up and kicking, then what does matter is finding him, ripping his head off, and shoving it up his ass.” Encouraged Dean...from inside the car. Cas shuffled her feet uncomfortably. Something felt off, but she didn’t want to bring it up yet.

“What about you? Have you found anything?” Had she added a different tone, her guilt and suspicion would’ve been noticed by anyone. Luckily, she was good at remaining mostly impassive. Dean stopped his rummaging. Castiel stared at his back, awaiting his answer. He could feel her eyes on him, and he knew he needed to think of something to say. He needed to think of something to distract her. When an idea entered his mind, he nearly hit himself with how disgusted he was just thinking of it. He couldn’t take advantage of her like that, not when she meant so much to him. But he had to do something. Fast.

“Dean, is everything alright?” Dean stiffened. He was pretty late with his answer and now there was no way she wasn’t suspicious. “I feel as if you’re avoiding me.” With a heavy sigh, Dean crawled back out of the car and looked down at the angel. 

“Honestly? I’m not avoiding you. I’m frustrated. We haven’t found anything on our end either.” He lied. Cas gave him a soft smile and reached out to him. She placed a hand on his arm encouragingly.

“It’s alright. We’ll find out whether he is alive or not. Best not to give up faith.” Cas was inwardly wishing she wasn’t such a hypocrite. Her intentions used to be so pure. Dean looked to her hand, his own tucked into his jean pockets. She was so much smaller than he was, and it was endearing. As the time stretched on, the two began to shift around awkwardly. Cas had pulled her arms to her sides, looking around the area for an excuse to break the silence. “Where’s Sam?” Dean’s eyebrows rose and he pulled his lips into his mouth for a moment, took a breath, and answered.

“He’s keeping busy.” He nodded slightly, glancing away. “He’s tracking a Djinn in Omaha as we speak. In fact, I’m heading out there right now to meet up with him.” Cas wasn’t too convinced, but this was Dean they were talking about. The two began to shuffle closer to one another, both being subtle and hesitant about their actions.

“Well, I’d come if I could.” She stated honestly. Dean looked to her face as he leaned himself against his car, looking her up and down. The more he looked her over and got closer, the more Castiel noted that her face heated up as it had back in Detroit. His smile stopped her heart, only to restart it at a faster pace. The power this man held over her was astonishing.

“Yeah, no, I-I get it. No worries. But, Cas, you’ll call right?” He had moved close enough to where Castiel could almost begin counting the number of freckles on his face. Which was silly….there were 197. Her throat tightened as her blue eyes remained on his intoxicating green ones. “If you get into real trouble?” It only just occurred to her that she needed to answer him. Through a shaky breath, she gave a small nod.

“Of course.” She whispered, sounding almost winded. Dean peered down at her face, noting every single movement she made, no matter how subtle it may have been. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him, but his distraction came back into mind and he found himself lifting his hand. His knuckles ghosted across her cheekbone at an infuriatingly slow pace, sending goosebumps all throughout her body. She glanced at his hand as it moved down to her cheek.

“We care about you, Cas.” He started, his palm now resting itself at the base of her skull. Her hair few stray hairs danced against his hand while he guided the two of them closer. And closer. To the point where there was no longer any space between them. “I care about you. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Dean admitted. Castiel felt like she was burning with holy fire from the inside out.

“Dean, I don’t understand.” She whispered and he offered her a smile that melted her already heating core. 

“You’ve been with me for so long. Longer than anyone outside my family has ever been, and it almost feels….wrong when you’re not here.” Castiel almost couldn’t hear him over the sound of her heart thumping in her ears. Instinctively, Cas rested her left hand over his collarbone, her other moving to his unbusy arm. “Castiel, I want to tell you...that…” He never finished. The sound of him using her full name sent shivers up her spine. Unable to help herself any longer, she pushed herself up onto the balls of her feet to close that last little gap between them. When their lips met, Castiel began to feel light headed. The contact halted all rational thought and Dean pressed back against her lips, reciprocating her affection. To Dean, this was just like any other kiss he had ever received, but it wasn’t at the same time. The actions remained the same, but the feeling behind it wasn’t just lust. There was an emotion there that he forced to the back of his mind when he intensified the kiss. The hand at the back of her head slid down along her spine, resting between her shoulder blade, his right arm slipping around her waist from under her coat. Castiel’s hands moved to his shoulders before slowly grazing his skin as they came to their place at the sides of his neck. Their lips molded together much better from their new position, their chaste kiss no longer remaining just chaste. Dean moved his hand from her shoulder blades and slipped it under the collar of her trench coat. Her right sleeve was the first article of clothing to be removed tonight, but it sure as hell wouldn’t be the last. She let go of the sides of his neck to assist in the removal of her coat, then slipped her arms around his neck once freed from the material. For a second, and a second only, the two broke apart to take a breath. Their eyes met during that one second then their kiss resumed just as feverishly. Dean wrapped his arm around her lower waist, hoisting her up so her legs could wrap around his hips. The movement allowed her heels to slip easily off her feet. The black shoes now meeting up with the trench coat on the ground. Her fingers found their way into his sandy blonde hair and curled around the strands they could touch. The action elicited a very quiet groan from the Hunter and he pressed her back against the side of the car. His tongue dared to brush across hers, but she welcomed the challenge without a second thought. Once inside, his tongue explored the unfamiliar territory hungrily, earning a small grunt from Cas. With his hands still on her thighs, Dean skillfully guided their preoccupied bodied into the backseat of the Impala. He laid her on her back, pulling back from the kiss to get deeper into his work. Cas had long since moved her legs so he could crawl closer to her much more comfortably. Dean smirked slightly at her, being affectionate, but playful with her as well. Cas was blushing like mad, but she returned his smile; her chest rose and fell with her pants for air. She took hold of the sides of his face to pull him back down to resume their kiss. Dean gripped her hips and lifted them slightly to move her body further up the seat, but also to find the tiny zipper to the polyester skirt. While unzipping her skirt, Dean’s tongue danced against her own. Even with her mind busy on his tongue, Cas lifted her hips to help him shimmy her skirt and panty hose down her legs. Her hands slipped under his open, red plaid shirt to remove it from him followed by his t-shirt. Once her hands met the warm skin of his chest, Castiel broke their passionate kiss to gaze over the wonder before her. Now, it was times like these that she could say a line she heard from the shows she watched that they weren’t supposed to talk about, but she firmly believed God spent his time on making Dean Winchester. His strength was displayed before her with well defined chest muscles, abdomen muscles being just as sculpted. His arms, which she never got to see past his rolled up sleeves, were thick and firm to the touch. And boy, did she touch. Her eyes scanned over his torso with an emotion that was not befitting an angel of her status. But the opinion of her brothers and sisters be damned. Her hands pushed themselves up the length of his chest, her right hand turning slightly to trace his anti-possession tattoo. Her eyes lifted to meet his and found him smirking down at her, a self-satisfied expression on his face. She blushed further and attempted to moved her hands, but Dean placed his right over her left, keeping it against his skin. He leaned forward and placed a much more gentle peck to her lips; her right hand gripping his bicep. But Dean and Cas weren’t like this to be gentle and Dean kickstarted the passion right back to maximum.

Placing his lips against her neck, he grazed his teeth along the delicate skin there. His hands let hers go to remove one button at a time, until her stupid tie got in the way. He growled against her skin, but spared the item no more than two seconds of attention before it was on the floor of the car with his shirt and her skirt. Cas tilted her head back for him, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. She had never physically done this before. She had only ever watched those shows and then they had seemed so complex. But Dean made it seem so simple just feel just as powerful. She held onto his shoulders when he began to rock his body against her own, her moans beginning to increase in volume. She wasn’t sure when they had closed the door, or if their movements had rocked it closed, but she was thankful for that. It kept the cool air out and with her shirt removed she could feel the air crisply. He moved his hands off her body, but his mouth had moved onto giving the same treatment he had given to her neck to her collarbone. A squeak/gasp resonated from her chest at the sharp, sweet pain of his bite over her sensitive skin. His hands, which had gone on to open and slip off his jeans, returned to her sides. Cas wrapped her arms under his his shoulders, her nails starting to bury themselves into his flesh along his upper and mid-spine. The long, red, scratch marks on Dean’s back would later be asked about by his brother, but for now, they were just starting to be made. Dean moved his head to the other side of her neck, but he didn’t spend nearly as much time on that side as he had on the right side. He had a new goal in mind. His hand slipped under her, his fingers moving to her bra clasp. He had enough practice to be able to pop it open with his one hand so his other could busy itself with her hair. Her messy bun was no longer a bun by the time Dean’s fingers made their way through the dark locks, and he gripped a part of the silky hair in his hand. Being sure not to hurt her too bad, Dean pulled her head back enough to expose her neck and arch her back slightly. Now that he had space, he made short work of throwing her bra aside. Had she been in her right mind, Cas would’ve kept note of where it had gone. But since she hadn’t, she was not going to be able to find it once the two had finished. Her moans and grunts of pleasure were not the sweetest sounds Dean had ever heard. They were the most erotic. It was amazing that such a pure creature as an angel could make such sounds that would make even a demon blush. With her hair now completely free from its original style, it was now free to lay where it pleased. Though several strands stuck to her face from her sweat, the rest laid around her head like a blackened halo and Dean thought this description was very fitting for her. 

Pulling back just to admire her as she had done so with him, Dean couldn’t help but love the way she was looking at him right now. With need and lust, but also comfort and ease that he knew should be with any bed partner. Making sure their partner was comfortable and safe was the job of anyone who wanted sex to go well. And it was going better than well for them. Dean moved a hand to twirl a piece of hair between his fingers then let it fall across her chest. Cas tilted her head, but was still smiling up at him.

“What?” She asked breathlessly and he shook his head.

“Nothing. I just like your hair down this way.” He complimented. Earning a loving giggle from Cas, she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him back down for another kiss. She could never get used to kissing him. Dean laid his bare chest against her own when she had pulled him back down, in love with the skin to skin contact. His hands, no longer supporting him, moved back down to her hips. He laced his fingers through the hem of her underwear, being teasingly slow as he guided them off her body. His teasing got the reaction he was looking for. Both a whimper and a growl of frustration from an angel. His angel. She lifted her hips to encourage him to move along, but he kept his slow pace. Fine. Two could play at this game. Cas lifted her knee slightly to roll it gently along his covered erection, earning a similar noise from him. When he shot her a look, she only smirked back at him challengingly. He knew what she was doing, but he wasn’t going to argue. Their foreplay was making him uncomfortably hard and that needed to be solved. Right now. He wasted no more time in removing their last pieces of clothing and placed his hands on her shins to push her legs up further. He moved himself in as close as their souls could get in this form, his mouth back on hers without a moment’s hesitation. That was until he had his tip partially inside her and she let out a whimper. But not the good kind. He looked up at her face to study her expression and, yup, she was in pain. Had she never…?

“Cas, have you ever slept with someone before?” He asked, his body no longer moving at all. Cas reopened her clenched eyes to meet his serious gaze. Her blush returned and it was not from the heat between them this time as she looked to the side, shaking her head a bit. Oh fuck. Now Dean knew he was going to feel worse than shit after this. With furrowed brows, Dean moved himself back slightly. “If you want me to stop, I will.” He assured her, but she shook her head. Cas placed her hands on the sides of his face, gently guiding him back to where he had been then pressing their foreheads together.

“It’s okay.” She assured him in a volume that was barely a whisper. “Don’t stop.” She requested. Dean waited a moment longer, wanting to be sure that this was what she wanted, then continued his actions. He was much more careful this time in guiding himself inside of her, wanting to be sure not to hurt her too bad. Her vessel may have had sex before, but Castiel had not and everything was very foreign to her. And even then, her vessel hadn’t had sex for years either, making this painful for no matter who was in control of the body. Cas wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him, her body trembling as it started to try and get accustomed to him being inside of her. While she did her best to hold back her whimpers, a few still made it out despite her efforts. Yet, each time she did, Dean would hush her and whisper soft, sweet nothings in her ear to help her through it. And she was sure she couldn’t have felt deeper for him than she had in this moment. Would she call it love? No. She wasn’t ready for that yet and she knew neither was Dean. But, there was something here, something between them that neither could deny. Knowing Dean, however, he would be stubborn about the whole thing for as long as he could. 

Dean hugged Cas to him once he was fully inside her, her core being so intensely hot and tight that it took all of his control not to just begin thrusting. She needed to adjust, and he could wait for her. He pressed gentle kisses to her hair while keeping her close to his body, her shaking form beginning to still. Maybe after a minute of waiting, Cas let out a shaky breath and nodded to him. He pulled back to look her in the eye, not wanting to mix up her signals.

“Ready?” Dean asked, not doing too well at keeping his eager tone from showing up. Cas gave him a small, nervous smile.

“Yeah.” She assured him, giving a single nod in confirmation. Dean nodded back to her and moved his hands to her hips. Cupping them carefully, yet firmly, he began his thrusts. The results were instantaneous. Cas took in a surprised breath, her eyes widening some before they quickly shut as her mind tried to cope with all the sudden waves of extreme pleasure he was giving her. Her nails broke through his skin this time as she held his shoulders for just something to keep her from feeling like she was falling away. Dean hissed slightly at the pain, but then just smirked at her. Damn, he was good. Leaning forward again, he opened his mouth to take one of her breasts into it. Suckling on her soft flesh, he rolled his tongue around the hardened bud, his thrusts becoming faster and more powerful. As they did, Castiel’s voice became louder with them. Even to the point where she gripped his hair and forced him back up to her lips. With her arms around his neck, Cas pushed her tongue against his to fight him and keep her voice muffled. Dean placed his hands on the leather seat below them, keeping his body up right to make sure the pleasure could only increase for them. Being relatively new to this, Cas felt a tight coiling of muscles in her pelvis and she pulled back in confusion and alarm, even if her pleasure was dulling those emotions down.

“D-Dean…” She stuttered out, looking through half lidded eyes towards the point where their bodies met.

“It’s okay.” He spoke quickly, moving a hand to turn her head back towards him. “It’s okay. Let go.” He panted his order out. She stared up at him, not sure what he meant but the pressure was building and she couldn’t take it. “It’s o-okay. Let go.” Castiel squeezed her eyes shut and tightening her grip on his shoulders to the bruising point. Her head moved back, arching her back as a call of pleasure escaped her. She was not sure what had happened for the next several minutes after that. Her vision had been completely white and her mind felt disconnected from her body. It was only once she had started to come back down that her sense returned to her. She became aware that her arms were wrapped around Dean as he lay on top of her. She felt his hands next to her arms and his head on her chest. She heard their heavy breathing and saw the steam that had formed on the windows from their condensation. Cas blinked her eyes to try and clear the white dots from them so she could look down at Dean. He was facing to the side, trying to catch his breath. She wasn’t sure when he had pulled out of her, but the wholeness she had felt when he was in her was no longer there. Had he not been as exhausted as he seemed, she might’ve requested another round. Angels didn’t need to sleep after all. But she settled for smiling down at him and running her fingers through his hair. Apparently the combination of their breathing, the comfortable position he was in, and the soothing effect of Cas running her fingers through his hair was enough to lull his drained body to sleep. Being a Hunter meant that Dean rarely slept, and when he did he always was a light sleeper to avoid surprise attacks. But with Cas here, Dean fell into a deep sleep to where Cas couldn’t have woken him by simply speaking as she had been able to before. He had needed this just as much as she had, and so Cas didn’t protest. She didn’t even mind laying here doing nothing for the hours that Dean slept. She had heard his phone buzz many times, but she refused to get it. He needed his rest. Castiel, herself, was ignoring the summons of Crowley. For now, the two could just be at peace, safe, and all their stresses and worries out the window. Being an angel helped a lot in situations where Cas found herself unable to move. Such as this. Using her plethora of abilities, she had managed to at least have their undergarments return to their bodies. Well, all the ones she could see. She still had no idea where her bra had been thrown to, but that was neither here nor there. Using her abilities the best she could, Cas made sure to keep her vessel warm enough that Dean could sleep half naked and not be woken by the cold. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel’s perception of time was awfully good, so she knew Dean had slept for five hours, forty-seven minutes, and twenty-three seconds before he had finally woken. The two shared little words, because not much needed to be said. Only smiles and quiet chuckles laced with very few and brief kisses were enough of a statement of ‘be safe’, and ‘see you soon’ without words needing to be spoken. Castiel stood by the car until it pulled out of the dirt driveway and vanished down the road from view. As soon as he was gone, her smile fell as Crowley summoned her once again. He really knew how to ruin good things for her. But she still had a job to do. Castiel flew to their compound and to the laboratory doors. Irritated beyond belief, Cas opened the lab doors and entered the room. Upon hearing the doors open, Crowley looked up to her and smiled.

“Howdy, partner. Where’ve you been? Been phoning.” Castiel ignored his comment.

“What have you found?” She questioned, remaining passive.

“I’ve found a lot of things. For example, Eve’s brain? Dead as a tinned kipper. And yet…” Crowley reached into Eve’s exposed abdominal cavity and removed a handful of slimy, black and grey orbs that Cas wanted to gag at the sight of. “....for some reason, she keeps laying eggs.” The demon dropped the eggs back into her body and shook off his hand before he turned to head to a silver spike that sat over an open flame. “Watch this.” Crowley removed the spike before returning to Eve’s side. With his eyes on the chained up and caged vampire, he pressed the red hot tip against a part of Eve’s exposed brain. A sickening sizzle sounded from the contact before the vampire began to seize and scream violently around his gag. Cas looked to the creature, then back to Crowley. “Chocula here feels every tickle.”

“What is that good for?” She asked.

“Apart from the obvious erotic value, you got me.” Castiel glared at the King of Hell, growling slightly despite having a raw throat.

“You said Eve could open the door to Purgatory.” Cas reminded him, and he pointed the spike at her.

“Correct. I did. And I’m confident that she could have, if she was still alive!” He shouted at her and Cas closed her mouth. She glanced away from Crowley as he continued. “Single best chance to get over the rainbow, and the Winchesters killed her!”

“It was unavoidable.” She defended quickly.

“You screwed up, Cas. You let the hounds mangle the pheasant, and now I am up to my elbows in it.” She returned the glare he was giving her.

“What is your point?”

“The point is, you’re distracted. And that makes me nervous.” 

“I’m holding up my end.” She hissed. Castiel tensed up under his mocking smirk and knowing gaze. He walked towards her, or more like sauntered down to her.

“Ah, yes. But is that all you’re holding? See..” He paused as he stopped once he was parallel with her, whispering into her ear. “...the stench of that Impala’s all over your overcoat, Angel. I thought we’d agreed-no more nights out with the boys.” Castiel didn’t met his gaze, shifting through her thoughts to find something to give him.

“I spoke with Dean. I needed to know what they know.” Crowley stepped away, assessed her, and spoke.

“About what? About me, maybe? Cause I happen to have it on good authority that your two little pets are currently trying to hunt me down!” He snapped at her. “Forgive me, but I think you might have a little conflict of interest here.” Castiel stared blankly at him.

_ “Crowley had a point, of course. My interest was conflicted. I still considered myself the Winchesters' guardian. After all...they taught me how to stand up…What to stand for...And what generally happens to you when you do. I was...done. I was over. And then the most extraordinary thing happened. I was put back. And we had won. We stopped Armageddon. But at a terrible cost. And so I knew what I had to do next. Once again, I went to Harrow Hell, to free Sam from Lucifer's cage. It was nearly impossible, but I was so full of confidence, of mission. I see now that was arrogance...Hubris...Because, of course, I hadn't truly raised Sam -- not all of him. Sometimes we're lucky enough to be given a warning. This should have been mine.” _

“Please. I’m begging you, Castiel. Just kill the Winchester.” Castiel snapped her head back towards him.

“No.” She stated sharply.

“Fine. Then I’ll do it myself.”

“If you kill them, I’ll just bring them back again.”

“No, you won’t. Not where I’ll put ‘em. Trust me”

“I said, no.” She pressed more firmly. “Don’t worry about them.” Crowley shot a dark look her way.

“Don’t worry about-what, like Lucifer didn’t worry? Or Michael? Or Lilith, or Alastair or Azazel didn’t worry?! Am I the only game piece on the board who doesn’t underestimate those denim-wrapped nightmares?!” She sighed, locking eyes with him.

“Just find Purgatory. If you don’t, we’ll both die again and again, until the end of time. The Winchesters won’t get to you.” She turned from him and headed out of the lab as Crowley shouted to her.

“Let them get to me! I’ll tear their friggin’ hearts out!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel flew herself to Bobby’s place, knowing that’s where the boys would be, yet she remained invisible to observe them.

“So, what’d you tell her?”

“Nothing. Just relax.” Bobby had just walked into the kitchen right after Cas appeared there.

“What’s all the hubbub?” He questioned and Dean sighed in reluctant defeat.

“I saw Cas. She popped in on me about five hours back.” Bobby shifted uncomfortably.

“What’d you tell her?” Dean held his hands up in a mock surrender, rolling his eyes.

“Nothing, alright?” He assured them, sighing heavily and keeping something to himself. Something only the two of them knew, but she was pretty sure Crowley might’ve guessed it. “Told her we were on some crap monster hunt. She doesn’t know that we’re getting close to Crowley.” He took another deep breath in frustration, just staying silent for a moment. He wiped his lips with his hand before speaking again. “You know, she’s our friend….and we are lying to her through our teeth.” He hissed. Sam sighed. This seemed to have been something they talked about a lot.

“Dean-” Dean didn’t even let him start.

“So she burned the wrong bones. So Crowley tricked her.”

“She’s an angel.”

“She is the Balki Bartokomous of Heaven! She can make a mistake!” He defended.

“Nobody’s saying nothing yet.

“You think that Cas is in with Crowley? Crowley?”

“Look, I’m just saying I don’t know. Now, look, I hate myself for even thinking it. But I don’t know.” Cas moved with the boys, her chest tightening.

“Look, Dean, she’s our friend too, okay? And I’d die for her. I would, but….look, I’m praying we’re wrong here.”

“But if we ain't...If there's a snowball of a snowball's chance here...that means we're dealing with a Superman who's gone dark side. Which means we've got to be cautious, we got to be smart, and maybe stock up on some Kryptonite.” Dean looked down before looking at Sam.

“This makes you Lois Lane.”

“Look, one problem at a time here. We got to find Crowley now, before the damn fool cracks open Purgatory.” Castiel looked away.

_ “So - they already suspected. And the worst part was Dean, trying so hard to be loyal, with every instinct telling him otherwise.” _

Dean remained behind in the kitchen for a moment longer, rubbing his hand over his face as he wrestled with his own head. Part of him told him that they were right, but the other half screamed in Cas’s defense. She would never do that to him. With a shake of his head, Dean walked past her and into the other room, not knowing he walked just past her. She had wanted to reach out and touch him, console him, but she refrained.

_ “ _ I don't know where Crowley is!”

“Are you sure about that? 'Cause we can twist again all the way to next summer.”

“Oh, God! I never even met him! I don't deal with Crowley direct.”

“Well, who do you deal with?”

“The dispatcher. A demon named Ellsworth.”

_ “If there was a demon counterpart to Bobby Singer, Ellsworth would be it. These demons would lead the Winchesters to Crowley, and Crowley would tear their hearts out.” _

As soon as the demon spilled the dispatcher, she knew it wouldn’t take long for the Winchesters to find him and he’d spill just as the ginger had. So she had to solve the problem. Flying herself to Ellsworth’s house, Cas began her assault by grabbing the faces of the two demons just in front of Ellsworth’s chest and slammed them to the ground as she burned them out of the bodies. She locked eyes with Ellsworth, whose own black orbs widened at the sight of her.

“Oh hell.” He muttered before attempting to smoke out of his host. Cas quickly placed her hand above the path of the demon, stopping him from progressing and forcing him back into the body. With her hand covering Ellsworth’s mouth, Cas burned the demon out as well, her eyes staring of into the distance.

_ “I had no choice. I did it to protect the boys. Or to protect myself. I-I don’t know anymore.” _

The boys busted into the home just after she cleaned up the bodies and information. She stood far back, remaining hidden to their eyes as she watched them investigate the area.

“Hey, clear from the back.” Sam called to them, walking back to the main living room.

“Demons get tipped and bugged out?” Asked Dean when he looked to Bobby.

“Maybe they run from us now. I mean, that would be a nice thought, right?”

“Yeah, if that’s what happened.”

“Yeah.”

_ “Hiding...Lying...Sweeping away evidence. And my motives used to be so pure. After supposedly "saving" Sam, I finally returned to heaven. Of course, there isn't one heaven. Each soul generates its own paradise. I favored the eternal Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who drowned in a bathtub in 1953.” _

**Flashback. Eight months earlier….**

Castiel turned as she looked away from the kite the man was flying to find a few angels standing in front of her, staring in awe. Rachel stood in front of the group, and she seemed the most awestruck.

“You’re alive.” She whispered in disbelief. Cas smiled at her and took a few steps towards her.

“Yes.” She answered simply.

“Castiel, we saw Lucifer destroy you.” 

“Well, I came back.” She held her arms out for emphasis, chuckling lightly.

“But….Lucifer? Michael?” Cassie shook her head.

“They’re gone.” Rachel smile grew at her next thought.

“It was God, wasn’t it?” Cas chuckled, but shook her head.

“No. It was the Winchesters.” She informed them with pride in her voice. “They brought down the Apocalypse.”

“But you beat the archangels, Castiel. God brought you back. He chose you, Cas, to lead us.” 

“No.” She stated rapidly, shaking her head. “No one leads us anymore.” She proclaimed to the group. “We’re all free to make our own choices, and choose our own fates.” All the angels glanced around at one another in utter confusion.

“What does God want?” Rachel asked and Cas smiled more.

“God wants you to have freedom.”

“But what does he want us to do with it?”

_ “If I knew then what I know now...I might have said..."It's simple. Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it. Those first weeks back in heaven were surprisingly difficult. Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like teaching poetry to fish. And then there was Raphael…” _

“You came. I appreciate the courage that takes.” Castiel looked at the Archangel, then around the elegant room as she approached him.

“Whose heaven is this?”

“Ken Lay's. I'm borrowing it.” Raphael explained and she sighed in disappointment.

“I still question his admittance here.”

“He's devout. Trumps everything.”

“What do you want?” She asked after a moment. He stood and buttoned up his suit coat, giving her a look that filled her with caution.

“Tomorrow, I've called for a full assembly of the Holy Host. You'll kneel before me and pledge allegiance to the flag, alright?” Castiel gave him an incredulous look, scoffing slightly.

“And what flag is that?”

“Me, Castiel. Allegiance to me.” She scoffed again, her eyebrows lifting in dubiousness.

“Are you joking?”

“Do I look like I'm joking?” Her smile began to slowly fall.

“You never look like you're joking.”

“You rebelled - against God, heaven, and me. Now you will atone. We'll start by freeing Lucifer and Michael from their cage. And then we'll get our show back on the road.” All her previous amusement vanished and she looked on blankly at this revelation.

“Raphael...No. The Apocalypse doesn't have to be fought!” She protested.

“Of course it does. It's God's will.”

“How can you say that?!”

“Because it's what I want.” She growled at her elder brother.

“Well, the other angels won't let you.”

“Are you sure? You know better than anyone, Castiel. They're soldiers. They weren't built for freedom. They were built to follow.” She stood taller, her fists clenched.

“Then I won't let you.”

“Really? You?” Raphael held out his hand, hitting Cassie with a white light. Her eyes shot open once the burning pain from Raphael’s attack began to dull. She felt the blood filling her lungs and rolled onto her side, coughing it up. As she did, a pair of polished shoes stood before her and she slowly raised her gaze. She stared up at Raphael, attempting a glare.

_ “I'm not ashamed to say that my big brother knocked me into next week.” _

“Tomorrow you kneel, Castiel...Or you and anyone with you dies.” Cas lowered her gaze in defeat and Raphael took this as submission, leaving his little sister on the ground in pain.

**Present Day**

“Hey...The place is clean.”

“Yeah, but it's...It's like "Mr. Clean" clean, you know? It's kind of OCD for your average demon.”

“Yeah. So what now?”

“We'd call Cas.” Dean suddenly stated. The other men looked to him in alarm.

“What?” Dean returned their gazes, eyes settling on his brother.

“This is usually the point where we would call Cas for help.” Sam shuffled and sighed.

“We talked about this.”

“Yeah, Dean.”

“No, you talked. I listened.” He pointed out to them in a low tone. “This is Cas, guys. I mean, when there was no one...And we were stuck - and I mean really stuck - she broke ranks. She has gone to the mat cut and bleeding for us so many freakin' times. This is Cas! Don't we owe her the benefit of the doubt at least?” Sam and Bobby looked between each other, before relenting. Sam bowed his head slightly and closed his eyes to pray to her.

“Castiel...This is really important, okay? Um...We really need to talk to you.” She didn’t show herself. She only watched.

“Castiel...Come on in.” Dean called for her now.

_ “But I didn't go to them...Because I knew they would have questions I couldn't answer...Because I was afraid.” _

“Cas is busy.” Dean stated hopefully. Sam and Bobby remained skeptic, Sam speaking up.

“That's all right. We are, too. Come on.”

“Back to square one.”

“Great. Well, what do we do now?” The trio had started walking towards the exit of the home, Cas taking a few steps to follow.

“Well, we caught one hunter demon before. We can do it again.”

“Dean!” Castiel turned at the same time that Sam called to his brother. Her eyes widened as a demon threw himself at Dean, pinning him to the ground in a surprise attack.

“Crowley says "hi." The demon told Dean, smirking down at him

_ “Crowley sent his very best. I was caught as much by surprise as the rest of them. And it left me with yet another choice. I could reveal myself and smite the demons. Of course Crowley wouldn't like it. But on the other hand, they were my friends. And Dean….” _

Cas wrapped her hand around the face of the demon that had Dean pinned, placing it over his mouth. Her other hand gripped his coat as she burned him out just as she had to the other three demons. She stared down at Dean for a moment then flew to Bobby’s aid. She pushed the demon against the wall and killed it by pressing her palm against its head. Lastly, she moved to Sam’s demon, grabbing his chin. Finally, she burnt out the last demon and pushed his body to the floor.

_ “For a brief moment...I was me again.” _

Castiel returned to Dean’s side and grabbed his arm to assist him in getting to his feet. The two smiled at one another.

“It is good to see you, Cas.” He spoke sincerely and Cas’s smile grew.

“You alright?” She asked them all, glancing briefly at the other two.

“Yeah. Perfect timing, Cas.”

“I'm glad I found you. I come with news.” They all looked to her expectantly. Better now than never.

“Yeah? What?”

“I firmly believe Crowley is alive.” She stated firmly and Dean gave her a look, but smiled some.

“Yeah. You think, Kojak?” He chuckled and adjusted his bag before looking to Bobby. “Well, Bobby, what do we think about Cas saving our asses...Again?”

“I think we owe you an apology.” Castiel’s brows creased and she looked to him and Sam. She was surprised she was this good at acting.

“Why?” She questioned.

“We've been hunting Crowley this whole time...And keeping it from you.” Sam admitted guiltily.

“We thought...You were working with him.” Cas stared at them in offense.

“You thought what?” Dean nodded to her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I know. It's crazy, right?” He scoffed.

“It's just that you torched the wrong bones. It doesn't matter. We - we were wrong.” Cas looked down in thought, then turned her gaze up to Dean before looking at the others.

“You know...You could've just asked me.”

“And we should have. We never should've doubted you. It's...I just hope you can forgive us.” Dean spoke for them and she softened just at the look on Dean’s face.

_ “Wonders never cease. They trusted me again. But it was just another lie.” _

“It's forgotten.” She told them all, but kept her eyes on Dean. He smiled back at her, giving a slight nod of his head. He kept his hand on her shoulder for just a moment too long, but let it fall to his side.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Cas.” Sam added, giving her a much smaller smile than Dean was. Cas offered the taller brother a slight smile, never the same one she gave Dean.

“It is a little absurd, though.” She commented, chuckling a bit nervously.

“I know, I know.”

“Superman going to the dark side. I'm still just Castiel.” Dean looked at her, but quickly forced a smile as he found himself unable to look her in the eyes.

“I guess we can put away the Kryptonite, right?” His voice was strained, but Cas didn’t fully think on it. She nodded to him.

“Exactly.”

_ “Of course, I didn't realize it at the time. But it was all over. Right then - just like that.” _

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

Castiel stormed into the lab, slamming the doors open with her mind. As soon as she spotted Crowley, she advanced on him with a predatory growl.

“You sent demons after them.” She snapped, meaning it to be a question. But they both knew. Crowley just looked to her, unimpressed with her anger.

“You kill my Hunters. Why can’t I kill yours?”

“They’re my friends.” Cas hissed at him, standing face to face with the King of Hell, who just sighed and shook his head as if he were dealing with a child.

“You can’t have friends, not anymore.” He paused as a steady smirk came to his face. “Besides, we all know Dean is more than a friend now, isn’t he?” He mocked. He refrained from saying his next statement when he noticed the look on her face, replacing it with a different one. “I mean, my God. You’re losing it!”

“I’m fine.” She protested and he chuckled sarcastically.

“Yeah. You’re the very picture of mental health. Come on, you don’t think I know what this is all about?” Her expression never changed.

“Enlighten me.”

“The big lie. The Winchesters still buy it. The  _ good _ Cas, the  _ righteous _ Cas. And as long as they still believe it, you get to believe it. You can’t handle the way Dean would regard you if he knew the truth. I’m guessing it would look rather similar to how he treated his brother after he found out he was working with Ruby.” Castiel snapped at this, the mental image of her being on that end of Dean’s gazes being enough. She shoved Crowley into the wall, cracking the tiles behind him due to her force. She gripped his coat in both fists, fiery rage burning behind her blue eyes.

“I’m only gonna say this once.” Her voice was lowered and much more threatening than it had ever been heard at before. “If you touch a hair on their heads, I will tear it all down. Our arrangement-everything.” She threatened. “I am still an Angel, and I will bury you.” She hissed. Once she was sure the message was across, she jerked her grip off of him and left him standing there in shock.

_ “I asked myself, "what was I doing with this vermin? As if I didn't already know the answer. Raphael was stronger than me. I wouldn't survive a straight fight. So I went to an old friend for help. But watching him, I stopped. Everything he sacrificed, and I was about to ask him for more.” _

**Flashback. Eight months earlier….**

Castiel stood not too far behind her good friend, her eyes following his movements as he raked leaves from his yard. She remained invisible to him, her heart and mind conflicting one another. She needed help, but could she really ask it from him? After everything he had already lost? Her brows creased in sadness as she stared at the back of Dean Winchester, when an accented voice she knew too well spoke up behind her.

“Ah, Castiel. Angel of Thursday. Just not your day is it?” Cas turned to look at the newly arrived demon, tearing her gaze away from Dean.

“What are you doing here?” She questioned hesitantly. Crowley gestured to both her and himself, a smile on his face.

“I want to help you help me help ourselves.”

“Speak plain.” She ordered, her brows furrowing.

“I want to discuss a simple business transaction. That's all.” Castiel’s eyes widened slightly.

“You want to make a deal? With me?” She scoffed, shaking her head slightly. “I'm an Angel, you ass. I don't have a soul to sell.” Crowley held up a finger to ask her to wait.

“But that's it, isn't it? It's all of it. It's the souls. It all comes down to the souls in the end, doesn't it?”

“What in the hell are you talking about?”

“I'm talking about Raphael's head on a pike.” Castiel’s attention was peaked at this, yet she was still cautious. Her confused expression gave way to a mostly expressionless one, if not for the subtle hints of interest in her eyes. “I'm talking about happy endings for all of us, with all possible entendres intended. Come on.” Crowley motioned with his head away from Dean, even went as far as offering his hand to her. “Just a chat.” She looked between his hand and him, a scowl forming on her face.

“I have no interest in talking with you.”

“Why not? I'm very interesting.” When she didn’t budge, Crowley sighed and stepped closer to her once again. “Come on. Hear me out. Five minutes. No obligations. I promise -- I'll make it worth your while.” Cassie stared at him for a time, then slowly turned to look at Dean.

_ “I was no fool. I knew who Crowley was and what he did. But I was smarter than him, stronger. I see now that I was prideful. And in all likelihood, I was a fool.” _

Castiel followed Crowley to a dimly lit hallway, a yellow hue reflecting on everything. To the left of them stood an impossibly long line of humans holding numbers and a rope fence to their right. After a single ding, the line shifted forward by one step and Castiel found herself at a loss of their location.

“Where are we?” She asked, glancing around slightly.

“You don't recognize it, do you? It's Hades, new and improved. I did it myself.” Crowley gestured to the line. Cassie’s eyebrows rose.

“This is Hell?”

“Yeah. See, problem with the old place was most of the inmates were masochists already. A lot of ‘Thank you, sir. Can I have another hot spike up the jacksie?’ But just look at them. No one likes waiting in line.” Castiel looked to the human souls when he had gestured to them, her eyes moving to the direction of the front.

“And what happens when they reach the front?”

“Nothing. They go right back to the end again. That's efficiency.” Castiel stared flatly at him.

“You have four minutes left.”

“What are you planning to do about Raphael?” Crowley asked as the two walked up the length of the line. Castiel let out a slow breath through her nose, her hands slipping into her pockets.

“What can I do besides submit or die?” Crowley looked to her ludicrously. 

“Submit or die? What are you, French? How about resist?”

“I'm not strong enough, and you know it.” She grumbled, glaring at him.

“Ah, not on your own, you're not. But you're not on your own, are you? There's a lot of angels swooning over you. ‘God's favorite.’ Sweetheart, you've got what they call sex appeal.” Castiel slowly looked to him. Such compliments rarely phased her.

“Thank you. Get to the point.”

“Angels need leaders, so be one. Gather your army and kick the candy out of each and every angel that shows up for Raphael.” Castiel’s body froze, her eyes growing redickulously wide.

“Are you proposing that I start a civil war in heaven?” She asked, pretty sure she already knew his answer.

“Ding! Ding! Ding! Tell him what he's won, Vanna.” Castiel felt as if an elephant was sitting on her chest at the implications of this course of actions.

“You're asking me to be the next Lucifer.” Crowley scoffed at her, waving his hand dismissively.

“Please. Lucifer was a petulant child with daddy issues. Cas, you love God. God loves you. He brought you back. Did it occur to you that maybe he did this so you could be the new Sheriff upstairs?” Cas chuckled sarcastically, turning her body a bit away from him.

“This is ridiculous. I mean, the amount of power that it would take to mount a war…”

“More than either of us have ever seen, yeah. But what if I said I knew how to go nuclear?” Cas narrowed her eyes, once again finding herself unable to move.

“What do you mean?”

“Purgatory, my fine feathered friend. Purgatory.” Once he got her walking again, Crowley lead them down a side hallway and away from the souls. “Just think about it. An untapped oil well of every fanged, clawed soul. I mean, what's that over the years? 30 million? 40 million? Just sitting there, plump and rich for the taking.” Cas gave an unimpressed glare.

“How would you even find it when no one ever has?”

“We'll need expert help.”

“From whom?”

“From experts, of course. I know of two eerily suited 'Teen Beat' models with time on their hands.” Cas felt her unseen wings ruffle at his implications.

“No. Not Dean. He's retired, and he's to stay that way.” Castiel stated firmly, and Crowley sighed.

“Fine. Then I know of a certain big, bald patriarch I can take off the bench. The point is...They can get us to the monsters. The monsters can get us to Purgatory. I know it.” Castiel hesitated, not believing that she was actually considering this.

“And what's your price in all of this?”

“Just half.”

“Half?” Cas would’ve laughed mockingly at his demand. There was no way no way in hell, pardon the pun, that she was going to let the King of Hell that much power.

“My position isn't all that stable, ducky. Those souls would help, just like they'd help you. Besides, wouldn't you rather have me in charge down here? The devil you know…”

“This is pointless. Your plan would take months, and I need help now.” Cas muttered.

“Granted. Yes. But just to show you how serious I am about this scheme...How about I float you a little loan?” Cas stared at him with an addled expression. “Say, 50 large? 50,000 souls from the pit. You can take them up to heaven. Make quite a showing.” Cas swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, taking a long while to answer. Too long for Crowley, apparently. Because he just kept on pushing. “It's either this or the Apocalypse all over again.” Castiel looked to the floor quickly, and he pressed on. “Everything you've worked for -- everything that Sam and Dean have worked for -- gone. You can save us, Castiel.” Slowly looking back at him, she waited for him to finally finish. “God chose you to save us. And I think...Deep down...You know that.” She stared on, his words stewing in her mind.

_ “I wish I could say I was clean of pride at that moment...Or the next.” _

Castiel returned to Heaven, powered up with the souls Crowley leant her, and she stared at Raphael. Lifting her hand directly at him, a white light filled the room, blinding every angel in the area. Once it dissipated, Raphael was gone. Banished from the room by simply raising her hand to him. Castiel turned her steadfast, powerful gaze to the others that had been at Raphael’s side. “There will be no Apocalypse. And let it be known -- you're either with Raphael or you're with me.” She announced. She waited briefly to make sure the message sunk in for them, then turned and exited the room.

_ “And so went the long road of good intentions...The road that brought me here.” _

**Present Day**

Castiel heard Dean’s voice in her mind as she walked the hallways of the lab. He was asking for her. Her heart pounded in her ears as she immediately flew to his location, seeing shock expressions from the three men at her arrival.

“Hello.” She greeted, offering them a smile. 

“Oh, Johnny on the spot.” Whispered Bobby. Cas looked to him, then their surroundings. Taking note at the familiar walls, her brows furrowed and her smile fell.

“You’re still here.” She pointed out, looking to Sam, then Dean. Sam smiled slightly at her.

“Yeah, we had to bury the bodies.”

“And we found a little whiskey.” Dean stated, holding up a small glass to show her. She chuckled lightly at him. “Thanks for coming.”

“How can I help?” She asked, looking to Sam when he opened a black binder in his arms.

“Oh, look. We, um-we have a new plan. We think we’ve finally figured out a way to track down Crowley.” Forcing back her panic, Cas began to cross the room to reach Sam.

“What is it?” As she approached him, Cas heard a match be lit behind her and she looked towards the sound. Bobby held up a small collection of burning matches, giving her a serious look before dropping it to the floor close by. When she looked down, she noticed too late the slight color difference that was in the shape of a circle around where she stood. Holy fire sprung up and quickly encircled her, trapping her in the areas where it wasn’t at. She looked around the circle rapidly, her eyes wide and panicked. Cas quickly looked up, right at Dean, in alarm.

“It’s you.” Bobby told her, but she kept her eyes on Dean.

“What are you doing?” Cassie asked, her voice slightly lifted in her panic. Dean matched her gaze as he slowly rose from his seat, holding a hand down as if motioning for her to calm down.

“We gotta talk.”

“About what? Let me go!” She responded hastily. A little too hastily.

“About Superman. And Kryptonite.” Castiel’s whole body stiffened up as realization settled into her mind. Her lips parted slightly from her shock, and she took in a breath.

“How’d you know what I said?” Castiel looked to Bobby.

“How long you been watching us?” Now she looked to Sam.

“You know who spies on people, Cas? Spies.” Castiel held up her hands to signal them to stop.

“Okay, just wait.” She requested, trying to give herself time to think of something to say. “I don’t even know what you mean.” Sam stepped forward, motioning around the house.

“What about this demon craphole? How is it so, uh, ‘next to Godliness’ clean in here?”

“And how exactly did Crowley trick you with the wrong bones?” Cas squeezed her eyes shut to try and focus on everything at once.

“It’s hard to understand. It’s hard to explain. Just let me go. Let me out and I can-”

“You gotta look at me, man.” Castiel reopened her eyes to look over at Dean. His gaze, which usually held affection and joy when looking at her, was upset and serious. She shifted uncomfortably under his stare. “You’ve got to level with me and tell me what’s going on.” He paused and she waited for whatever came next. “Look me in the eye and tell me you’re not working with Crowley.” Castiel held his gaze in silence for what felt like another century to her, but the guilt rose in her chest once again, and she found herself looking away from him. Dean stared at her in shock, leaning back slightly. “You son of a bitch.” He whispered. Cassie looked back at Dean when she heard his curse, her brows furrowed pleadingly.

“Let me explain.” She begged, but he wouldn’t listen.

“You’re in it with him? You and Crowley have been going after Purgatory together? You have, huh? This whole time!” The betrayal in his voice had Cas ready to break down, but she was pretty damn good at closing off her emotions. Just as good as Dean, and he was just as ready as she was to break.

“I did it to protect you.” Cas told him before motioning to the others. “I did it to protect all of you.”

“Protect us how? By opening a hole into monsterland?!”

“He’s right, Cas. One drop got through and it was Eve. and you want to break down the entire dam?” Cas looked to Bobby and Sam.

“To get the souls. I can stop Raphael. Please, you have to trust me.” Pleaded Castiel, but Sam’s cold and quick response threw her off.

“Trust you?! How in the hell are we supposed to trust you now?” Castiel pressed her lips together as she stared at him. Her expression broke into one of a beggar.

“I’m still me. I’m still your friend.” She tried to convince them, but the look in Sam’s eyes was enough to let her know he wasn’t buying it. “Sam, I’m the one who raised you from Perdition.” If everyone’s eyes hadn’t been burrowing into her before, they were now. Dean lifted his head slightly, his lips parting and brows furrowing. She glanced sideways at him, but looked right back at Sam. He had straightened against the bar he had been leaning against, looking right at her.

“What?” He asked, but then shook his head. “Well, no offense, but you did a pretty piss-poor job of it.” Cas sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Wait.” He ordered, his eyes widening a centimeter. “Did you bring me back soulless….on purpose?” Cas had been looking towards Dean, as if asking for his help, but Sam’s voice and question had her head turning back towards him quickly. Devastation flashed across her face as she spoke with a very weak voice.

“How could you think that?”

“Well, I’m thinking a lot of things right now, Cas.” She closed her eyes and needed to shake her head clear, holding her hands up as well.

“Listen.” She asked of them, sparing everyone a glance. “Raphael will kill us all. He’ll turn the world into a graveyard. I had no choice.” Castiel looked at Dean when he spoke up.

“No, you had a choice. You just made the wrong one.” Cas locked eyes with him again, but looked to the floor once more. One could only take looking at the pained and betrayed expression of Dean Winchester for so long at a time.

“You don’t understand.” She muttered. “It’s complicated.

“No, actually, it’s not. And you know that. Why else would you keep this whole thing a secret, huh? Unless you knew that it was wrong?” Cas’s eyes flicked towards Dean, but stayed on her feet. “When crap like this comes around, we deal with it. Like we always have. What we don’t do is we don’t go out and make another deal with the Devil!” He snapped.

“It sounds so simple when you say it like that.” She mumbled, her composure all but defeated as she forced herself to look at him again. “Where were you when I needed to hear it?”

“I was there.” Dean stated matter-of-factly. “Where were you?” Cas flinched. “You should’ve come to us for help, Cas.”

“Maybe.” She whispered, sighing heavily. Her head lifted quickly, her eyes moving to the windows when a loud howling of wind began to fill the area. Demons. A lot of them. And they were heading right for them. Castiel stood in a defensive stance, stepping back as if getting ready to fight. “It’s too late now. I can’t turn back now, I can’t.” She looked to the ceiling as she spoke.

“It’s not too late. Damn it, Cas, we can fix this!” Castiel snapped her face back onto the eldest Winchester, her brows furrowed in anger.

“Dean, it’s not broken!” She shouted at him before looking back at the ceiling. “Run. You have to run now!” She ordered, and Sam and Bobby were out the door first. Dean stopped as he held the wooden door, giving her one last betrayed look. She returned his gaze, watching as he finally ran out of the door and away from the building. A heavy sigh fell from the Angel as a certain, dreaded demon entered the building.

“My, my. Playing with fire again?” Cas glared at Crowley, nearly hissing at his response. He snapped his fingers, however, and snuffed out the flames to free her. She stomped towards him.

“If you touch the Winchesters-”

“Please, I heard you the first time.” Crowley cut her off, rolling his eyes. “I promise, nary a hair on their artfully tousled heads. Besides, I think they’ve proven my point for me.” Castiel stiffened and found herself having difficulty swallowing. “It’s always your friends, isn’t it? In the end? We try to change. We try to improve ourselves. It’s always our friends who got to claw into our sides and hold us back.” He pointed to her. “But you know what I see here? The new God, “ He pointed to himself next, “and the new Devil, working together.”

“Enough.” She hissed, placing herself mere inches from him. “Stop talking, and get out of my sight.” She ordered. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with his attitude nor his words right now. Crowley stared at her in disbelief, then ‘tsk’ed.

“Well….glad I came. You’re welcome, by the way.” He mocked before turning to leave. Yet, much like Dean had, he stopped at the door to look at her again. “You know the difference between you and me? I know what I am. What are you, Castiel? What exactly are you willing to do?” Castiel stared at Crowley while he left, his words echoing in her ears. She took the time she needed to compose herself and steel herself up before she flew to where she needed to be. Lucky for her, Bobby made a few mistakes in the angel proofing around his house or else she wouldn’t have been able to say goodbye. Standing in an all too familiar study, Cas looked down at the sleeping form of Dean Winchester. Her heart ached as she recalled that only a few hours ago, the two had been against one another and in their embraces. She found herself missing the warmth from his body, and smile. Slowly, Dean’s eyes blinked open, and once he say her, he stared at her in alarm. He slowly sat up from the couch, glancing around the room then back to her.

“Hello, Dean.” She greeted mournfully. Dean pushed himself up off the couch, regarding her distrustfully.

“How’d you get in here?”

“The angel proofing Bobby put up on the house….he missed a few things.”

“Well, it’s too bad we gotta angel proof in the first place, isn’t it?” He paused as he stared accusingly at her. “Why are you here?”

“I want you to understand.” She started, stepping towards him.

“Oh, believe me, I get it. Blah, blah, Raphael, right?” Castiel stopped him there once she had unclenched her teeth.

“I’m doing this  _ for _ you, Dean.” Confusion was his reaction. “I’m doing this  _ because _ of you.” Dean’s confusion melted into a detached, annoyed gaze.

“Because of me.” He snickered, turning his back to her. He lifted his hand to rub the bridge of his nose. “Yeah. You gotta be kidding me?”

“You’re the one who taught me that freedom and free will-” Dean whipped back around.

“You’re a freakin’ child, you know that? Just because you  _ can _ do what you want doesn’t mean that you  _ get _ to do whatever you want!”

“I know what I’m doing, Dean.” She spoke through her teeth.

“I’m not gonna logic you, okay? I’m saying don’t. Just cause. I’m asking you not to. That’s it.” Her brows furrowed as she stared up at him.

“I don’t understand.” She whispered.

“Look. Next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family….that you are something to me I can’t name. Something important. So, if i’m asking you not to do something….you gotta trust me, Cassie.” Castiel looked away, mulling over his words. They did cause her to falter. Shortly.

“Or what?” She challenged, lifting a blank look to his face. Dean was taken back by this, not having expected such an answer from her. He matched her blank look.

“Or I’ll have to do what I have to do to stop you.” She sighed, giving him a small, fake smile.

“You can’t , Dean. You’re just a man. I’m an angel.”

“I don’t know. I’ve taken some pretty big fish.” It hurt to speak to him like this. To picture him hunting her and treating her as he did any other monster shattered her already damaged heart. Why did she feel so much shame talking to him now? It didn’t used to be like that. In fact, it had been far from it.

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Castiel whispered. Dean looked down, shaking his head slightly.

“Well, I’m sorry too, then.” He looked back up to her and the two conflicted beings stared at one another, waiting for the other to make a move. Cautiously, Cas lifted her hand to touch his face, but thought better of herself. She pulled her hand back and wrapped it around her middle, lowering her head. What she hadn’t expected was to feel his hands on the sides of her face. He gently tilted her head so she was looking back up at him. The two stared again when Dean slipped his arms around her shoulders. Cas was still, but then slipped her arms around his torso. “Please, Cassie. Don’t do this.” He mumbled into her hair. Castiel squeezed her eyes shut, only to reopen them as she pulled back slightly. She placed her hands on his arms, lowering them to her waist, letting them linger there until she had subtly moved his grip off of her. She still held his arms as she stood on her toes, leaning up to place her lips against his. Dean closed his eyes, doing his best not to squeeze them as he tilted his head to return the gesture. The kiss wasn’t long and when Cas pulled back, she had barely moved at all. Her lips still lingered just over his, as if she were trying to decide whether or not she was going to kiss him again.

“Goodbye, Dean.” When Dean reopened his eyes, brows creased, he was met with an empty spot where Castiel had been standing a moment ago. He lifted a shaky hand, pushing his hair back slightly as he pressed his lips closed. He took a few steps forward, his hand on the back of his head as he tried to keep down his anger. But, it came out in the form of him swinging his arm across Bobby’s desk and forcing a large pile of books onto the floor. Now he placed both hands on the back of his head, taking what little restraint he had left to keep himself from lashing out again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, that’s everything.” Castiel finished her prayer, taking a deep breath. “I believe it’s what you’d call a…..tragedy from the human perspective. But maybe the human perspective is limited. I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you, Father. One last time. Am I doing the right thing?” Silence met her question. “Am I on the right path?” Only the birds sang. “You have to tell me. You have to give me...a sign.” Nothing. “Give me a sign, because if you don’t….I’m gonna jus- I’m gonna do whatever I….whatever I must.” She begged, staring up at the sky was she waited just moments longer. Yet, still no response came. Cas lowered her head and buried it in her hands for a moment, but composed herself and stood from the bench.


	10. Let It Bleed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's worst nightmare comes true when a demon kidnaps Ben and Lisa to get to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, next one is up! What episode do you want to see changed next? Let me know, alright?

This was not how Castiel was expecting her day to turn out. Though, in retrospect, she shouldn’t have been surprised. Her life was beyond the usual it had been before the Apocalypse. And many times, in the solitude of her own mind, she longed to be back in those days. There was a lot of crap, yes, but there was a hell of a lot of good too. That good coming in the form of a blonde hair, green eyed hunter with all sorts of issues and sass to match. Back then, they were together. They trusted one another and were as close as family. Now, Castiel destroyed all of that. All because of one, stupid, desperate deal with the Devil. Cas really should’ve seen this coming. After all, she told Crowley not to touch the Winchesters. She didn’t say anyone else. Even if she harbored strange, and unpleasant emotions towards the woman named Lisa, she wouldn’t have asked this upon her. Castiel had been looking through documents she had recently obtained when she heard Sam. Lifting her head quickly and brushing her unpinned hair behind her ear, Castiel glanced around. To her astonishment, he was praying to her. As soon as he had called her name, Cas had flown to him, but didn’t show herself in case this was another trap. But oh how she wished it had been.

“Castiel, it's Sam. Um, so look, I don't know if you're in on this whole Ben-Lisa thing, but if you have any heart whatsoever, bring 'em back to us, man.” Castiel stared at him, her brows pinched together and her mind twisting through options. Should she? “C'mon. Please. I'm begging you. I am begging you, do you understand?” She understood. Even if she didn’t quite understand the tightness that had formed in her chest, she understood what she was being asked to do. And they were important to Dean. She had to try. Castiel waited a moment to watch Sam walk back before she returned to the lab. She glared directly at Crowley, but the demon just smiled at her.

“Sweetie. You look tense.” He mocked while she took measured steps towards him. “Love the new hairstyle, by the way.”

“You took Ben and Lisa.” She had asked, yet her tone made it more of a declaration and she ignored the comment of her hair. She told herself she just didn’t have the emotions strong enough to tie it back today. Leaving it cascading down her left shoulder, the ebony waves resting untamed against her chest.

“Oh. That.” Crowley sauntered to his right, his arms opened in a carefree manner. Castiel began to follow his movements while remaining a distance away.

“I told you – “

“Not to touch Sam and Dean. And I've respected that. I'm merely exploiting the obvious loophole.” Crowley stopped and pointed towards her with the hand that held a white, stained rag. Stained with what, Cas was sure she didn’t want to know. “As long as I have the woman and boy, your fop-coiffed little heroes will be scouring the earth for them, therefore not you, and not me. Everybody wins.” The Demon turned his back to her, tossing said rag into a sink. Castiel’s darted side to side quickly, trying to find a real problem with this other than the moral obvious.

“You should've talked to me first.” She muttered. Crowley chuckled.

“I'd rather ask forgiveness than permission.”

“Where are they, Crowley?” Cas demanded, but he just looked to her and made a motion of zipping his lips followed by slipping an imaginary key into his pocket. Cas growled.

“You are not to harm them, do you understand me?” She threatened. Crowley approached her.

“You know what? You're all maxed out on putting humans out of bounds.” He pointed accusingly to her. “I'll do with them as I please. Want to stop me? Go find freaking Purgatory!” He snapped. The two stared one another down for a time, Castiel not caring for the noticeable height difference between them. “Besides, I thought I was really doing you a favor.” The smirk on Crowley’s face unsettled the angel. Her glare turned confused and offended. Why would he think that? She opened her mouth to ask, but a high-pitched ringing resonated in her mind and she lifted her hand to her temple.

“Call on the bat-phone? Never call during business hours, do they?” Crowley asked, noting her slight wince. Moving her hand away, Cas sent him one last glare.

“I'll be back.” She hissed, then flew to the one who summoned her. She walked at a steady pace through the underbrush of this unnamed forest, her eyes locked on Balthazar’s back.

“Cas, Cas, Cas. So good of you to come.” He commented with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Balthazar. Why'd you summon me here?” She questioned, glancing around. Balthazar turned to her, a steady eyebrow raising as he looked her over.

“Can I ask you a direct question?” Cas tilted her head slightly.

“Of course.”

“Are you in flagrante with the King of Hades?” Castiel stopped all movement, her eyes locked on Balthazar. She did not speak for a moment, wanting to gather her bearings before answering.

“Of course not.” She denied. Balthazar chuckled at her.

“Always were such a terrible liar.” Cas didn’t comment. “So it's true. Alright then, why?”

“It's a means to an end. Balthazar, you understand that.”

“Oh, absolutely. But what's the end here exactly? You know, raid Purgatory, snatch up all the souls?”

“Win the war.”

“And I can only assume that you'd be the vessel, correct? Suck up all those souls into yourself? All that power?” Castiel finally looked away from him.

“It's the only way.”

“Or too much juice for you, in which case you explode, taking a substantial chunk of the planet along with you.”

“That won't happen.” She denied quickly.

“Sure, sure. Of course.” Balthazar scoffed and held up his hands in a mock surrender position. “Just - just tell me that it's entirely risk-free.” Castiel avoided his requested and stepped toward him.

“I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but I need to know. Are you with me or not?” A tensed silence passed between them prior to Balthazar’s chuckle breaking it.

“Ah. You know, you may be certifiable, but fine. In for a penny, in for a pound.”

“How'd you hear about this anyway?”

“Oh, your howler monkeys of course.” Castiel resisted the heavy urge to roll her eyes. Of course, it would have been them. “See they're just a touch worked up about that kidnapping business, you know?” Castiel’s lips parted as she once again said nothing. What could she say? She didn’t have any control over this situation this go around. Castiel sighed and turned to walk away from him when he spoke up again. “What’s with the sudden hair change?” Cas stopped, her brows furrowed as she glanced over her shoulder. Balthazar shrugged at her, a forced smirk on his face when he opened his arms in a showman’s manner. “You’ve kept yourself pretty much the same for the past few millennia. Hair up and looking all stuffy. Now you look looser, your hair even all the way down. Why?” Cas gave him a weighted look, saying nothing before flying back to the lab.

Castiel decided she had held off speaking with Dean long enough when she flew to the garage she knew he was torturing demons in. Luckily, she always had good timing for when she arrived a demon had gotten free and was choking the life out of her Winchester. Wasting no time, Cas appeared behind the demon, laying her hand on his head. Light filtered out of his eyes and mouth as he died, his body falling to the floor not a moment too soon after. Dean cradled his throat, staring at her in shock and she just stared on. The two locked eyes for a time, a feeling of hope beginning to burn in Cas’s chest. Yet, Dean quenched then flame after he took a moment to catch his breath.

“I didn't ask for your help.” Slowly, Cas’s eyes dropped to the ground, her shoulders deflated just a fraction.

“Well, regardless, you're welcome.” She commented, looking back to Dean with a much harder gaze. Dean simply walked past her.

“Why are you here?” Cas didn’t turn to follow his movements. Her eyes stayed were Dean stood only seconds ago when she answered.

“I had no idea Crowley would take Lisa and Ben.” She heard him scoff.

“Yeah right.” Cas took a deep breath through her nose, gaining the will to turn and face him again.

“You don't believe me.”

“I don't believe a word that's coming out of your mouth.” He retorted almost before she even finished her sentence. Cas looked away, a very light version of a scowl passing over her features. She was going to keep up emotional control around him if it was the last thing she did.

“I thought you said that we were like family. Well I think that too. Shouldn't trust run both ways?” Cas almost snarled now. Just looking at Dean again after everything made all her decisions that much harder.

“Cas, I just can't...”

“Dean, I do everything that you ask.” Castiel began to walk towards him. “I always come when you call, and I am your friend. Still, despite your lack of faith in me, the knowledge that you used my feelings against me, and now your threats, I just saved you, yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?” She asked, practically throwing the words he had spoken to her before… “All I ask is this one thing.”

“Trust your plan to pop Purgatory?”

“I've earned that, Dean.” Dean scoffed, shaking his head slightly while looking upon her. She looked away in disappointment. “I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask.” Dean tilted his head as if he hadn’t heard her right.

“You're asking me to stand down?” He asked, stepping up to her.

“Dean. “

“That's the same damn ransom note that Crowley handed me. You know that, right? Well no thanks. I'll find 'em myself.” Castiel stared up at him, her face remaining passive. “In fact, why don't you go back to Crowley and tell him that I said you can both kiss my ass.” If only her eyes would follow her commands. She wanted no emotion to show, but her eyes were broadcasting them for the whole world to see. It was when Dean turned away from her, refusing to acknowledge her that Cas flew back to the lab. She felt much more weighed down with each visit she made to Dean. If he didn’t want her help, then she would not offer it.

Yet when Dean needed her again, she found herself there. Castiel stood in the room, appearing just as Ben walked out of the room. The look in Dean’s eyes when they fell on her seemed to drain all energy from her body.

“What do you want?” He asked bitterly. She walked closer to the hospital bed.

“Dean, listen.”

“What do you want me to say? She'll be dead by midnight.” He all but hissed. Castiel looked him dead in the eyes.

“I'm sorry.”

“I don't care. It's too little, too late.” Castiel sighed softly, looking away from the broken man before her.

“Okay.” She whispered. “Well, regardless, I didn't come for you.”

“Meaning?” Castiel ignored him as she walked next to Lisa. Lifting her hand, Cas placed her hand atop of Lisa’s forehead pouring what little light she could into the injured human. “She's fine now. She'll wake soon.” She muttered, stepping away after healing the woman Dean loved. Just the thought stung Cas deeper than any wound she had ever felt before. She watched as he slowly rose, his eyes locked on the small screen that seemed to match Lisa’s now steady heartbeat. “Dean, I said I'm sorry and I meant it.”

“Thank you. I wish this changed anything.”

“I know.” Both their voices barely reached a whisper level, and Cas stared at the reddened eyes of Dean Winchester. Uncomfortably, Cas reached up to brush her hair out of her face once more. “So do I. All else aside, I just wanted to fix what I could.” Cas turned and had barely made it out of the door when Dean spoke up to her again.

“There's one more thing you could do for me.” Castiel looked back to him with a confused glance, but his request had her tightening her jaw and tensing her muscles. Yet, she obeyed. She stayed in the background after completing the task he had asked of her, observing the end results. She couldn’t hear what was being said (she really could but she preferred to pretend that she didn’t), but she could just feel the suffocating waves of Dean’s sorrow as they all talked. He walked away from them rather hastily, his hand reaching up to brush his face like he usually did when he wanted to physically stop himself from crying. And Castiel’s heart shattered. But she had another job to do. Cas locked all emotions away as she got herself to the cabin of her target. The Purgatory native was rushing to her car when Cas appeared behind her. The creature turned to look at her, but Cas didn’t want to take any chances. She reached out and touched the creature’s shoulder, transporting the two of them to the lab and to Crowley.


	11. Lost Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's only a matter of time before you run out of that time. And if you haven't done all that you've wanted to, said all that you've needed to.....it will haunt you till the day you die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!! IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED SEASON 12 YET, DO NOT READ!!! I REPEAT DO NOT READ!!!!  
> Any who, I wrote this in response to the finale and thought 'what the hell I'm not in enough pain yet'. So now I get to put all of you in a lot of pain along with me because........THAT ENDING THO  
> Enjoy that pain!

So much of Dean’s life had been darkness and grief. It was very rare for him to have moments of light, peace, and happiness. So whenever he got those chances to have those moments, he desperately tried to hold onto them. And one of those lights had been Castiel. She was something that he had never expected. She flipped his world around in both good and bad ways. And over time, he found that his happiness was tied to her more and more. When she was around, there was light around him and within him. He used to think it was just because she was an angel, but he knew it wasn’t that. Deep down he always knew. Sam had asked him once if he thought of settling down at one point with a hunter or just someone who understood the life. Truthfully, the only time he thought of such a thing was when Cas told him and Sam that she was going to become a hunter. He could see himself with Cas, happy and living in the bunker. That was home now, and he wanted to live at home with her. And one moment had made him think that it was possible.

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_Several Months Earlier…._

Dean was very bugged by this whole nephilim/child of Lucifer thing. More so than he let on. But part of it was for another question that needed an answer to. So, when Sam had run off to start getting things together for getting to the President, Dean stayed by Cas to make sure she was truly alright after that slam from angel radio.

“You sure you’re okay?” He asked, earning a seemingly annoyed sigh from the angel.

“Yes, Dean. It was just a lot of voices at one time. I was not prepared, but I am okay.” Cas assured him as she rubbed her temple. “I just prefer to get to this nephilim and end it quickly before any real damage can be done.” Dean’s brows furrowed.

“Ya know, something’s been bothering me for quite a while. About these nephilim.” Castiel turned her head to look at him inquisitively. “How can they all be bad? I mean, you all are so eager to kill them whenever you hear of one.” Cas stiffened and lowered her gaze. Dean tilted his head slightly. “What?”

“It’s not the fact that they’re evil. It’s the fact that they are too powerful and unpredictable to be left alive. With a single thought, they could turn this planet into their personal playground.” Cas’s voice had quieted by this point. “It is against the very laws of Heaven for an angel to conceive a child with a human.”

“Wait, so it’s not because the kids are evil. It’s because it’s a rule?” Dean gestured with his hand as if asking her to slow down so he could process what he had been told. A single nod from Cas got his gears turning. “So they are just like regular babies with potential to be good or bad, but you guys just don’t like them?” Cas turned sharply towards him.

“They are anything but regular babies, Dean.” She defended.

“Yes, but they still are. Aren’t they?” Dean took a step closer to her. “They are still just kids.” Cas almost glared straight at him.

“It is against the rules of nature.” She protested.

“It sounds to me like it’s just against the rules of Heaven. I mean come on, Cas. Hasn’t there been one nephilim in the entire history of the Earth that wasn’t evil?” Cas looked back towards the twin cups of tea on the table before them, her arms crossing over her chest. There was suddenly a vibe of guilt coming from the female in front of him.

“Yes, there was. She was just a waitress, working and trying to live a normal life.” She whispered. Dean had a bad feeling about where this was heading.

“What happened to her?” It was a single breathing cycle of time before she answered.

“Mattatron tricked me into killing her for the spell that cast the angels out of Heaven.” Oh. Well, that explained it.

“Right, well, isn’t she proof enough that nephilims can be just as good as they can be bad?” He asked. Castiel’s no answer was an answer in itself.

“She was. I, personally, believe that no one is born bad. That it is taught to them.” She explained. “But Lucifer’s child? This is a whole different story. This is an Archangel/human hybrid. We can’t afford to take the chance.”

“But if it were a regular nephilim, you’d leave it be?” Cas looked at him as if something was confusing her.

“What is with your sudden interest in nephilims?” Dean shrugged.

“It just made me curious. I mean they can’t be all bad. They’re just babies with wings.” He joked, earning a slight smile from the angel.

“Yes, I guess they are. And babies are adorable. Maybe a baby with wings could be much more so.” Dean smiled at this light comment. He walked around Cas to stand on her other side, leaning back against the table.

“Well well well. Who knew Cas had a soft spot for babies?” Cas gave him a soft smile at the playful question. “What about you, Cas? Ever think of having a nephilim?” He jested, expecting a laugh and a swift no. What he got was an angel with a far away look in her eyes and a tiny smile.

“Sometimes.” She admitted. Dean slowly leaned off the table, assessing her with surprised, yet intrigued eyes.

“Really?” She nodded. “Hmm. Didn’t see that coming. But now that I think of it, being a parent would suit you.” Cas looked to him in amazement.

“Are you kidding me? I can barely handle adult humans and adult angels. What makes you think I could handle the infant of both?”

“No, no. I’m serious. I think you’d do pretty good. You do great with Claire and have that whole “cuddle me” vibe. Don’t get me wrong, there is no way you could handle it on your own. But you have a good start.” Cas smiled teasingly at the eldest Winchester Boy.

“You sound like you’re offering to be the other half of that coin.” She joked and Dean waved her off.

“Nah, I’m just saying.”

“Well, you’d make a good father. You have been to so many others before. I would not mind it if you fathered my nephilim child.” She spoke truthfully. Dean’s smile fell slightly as he looked her in the eye. Cas’s own smile fell as she realized her words. The air had become tense around them and Cas had to look away from his gaze. No one spoke for a long stretch of time. However, Cas opened her mouth to take a deep breath. “Are we ever going to talk about it?” Dean turned so he was resting his forearms on the table, staring down at his hands and not her.

“Talk about what?” Cas glanced at him.

“It.” Her voice dropped in volume to the point where he was sure she was trying not to be heard by anyone. “You and….I. After…..all that has happened between us…..I just…..if we ever got the chance…...I wouldn’t mind.” Dean lifted his head to look at her again.

“Wouldn’t mind what?” He did his best to keep his voice from sounding eager and strained at the same time. But when she looked to him once more, those ocean blue eyes gazing at him with emotions he had refused to place before now.

“Being with you.”

That one sentence sent his heart and mind into overload, unsure how to process this. She had been at his side for almost eight years now. Sure they had their ups and downs, their fights and their differences, but he could not picture himself without her here. If he were being completely honest with himself, he wasn’t sure there was a whole  _him_ without _her_. And he was not the one for cheesy, romantic comedy lines like that. Slowly pushing himself off the table, Dean moved in closer to Castiel, scanning over her face for anything that could push him away. Yet there was none. Cas was looking at him just as earnestly, and he could almost feel what she was wanting to be said. He reached out to her, his larger, more calloused hand gently gripping her smaller, yet just as calloused one. He knew what she wanted him to say.

“Cas….I….” But he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He couldn’t say those words with the level of meaning that he wanted to share. He knew how this would really end; how it always ended for the Winchester Boys. “A future with me….that’s not something I could guarantee. I know how my story ends, and you can’t be a part of that. My ending is at the end of a knife or a barrel of a gun, and those around me tend to get caught in the crossfire. I’m not bringing you down with me. You and I can’t work out. It’s just how it is.” He whispered. Her brows knitted together in confusion and obvious hurt at his words. They both knew that wasn’t true.

"And you think my story would have a different ending? Dean, I have fought by your side for longer than anyone who wasn't your family has. I have bled for you, rebelled for you, _died_ for you. Yet, I can't see myself anywhere else but here. My story's ending will be here, by your side. Good or bad." She paused briefly, assessing his reactions to her words. Taking a deep breath for some courage, she whispered the one sentence that could determine how their lives went. If he said it back, it would end very happily for the both of them. If he didn't....she was sure it would break her heart.

_"I love you."_

And there it was, right out in the open for both of them to see. Dean's mouth was opened slightly from the shock and near awe of hearing this from her. An uneven breath entered his body and he stared down at her with so many conflicting emotions it was hard to keep up. Their heart beats were audible to them, those being the only sounds outside of their shallow breaths of uncertainty. He had to say something. He needed to say something.

"I don't."

Instantaneously, everything fell beneath their feet. Everything froze and seemed to zoom in on them, and not in a positive manner. Castiel's expression was soul crushing. The sheer pain in her eyes made Dean want to hit himself for causing such an expression from her. She moved slightly more forward, opening her lips to speak but he looked away from her and leaned backwards an inch. Castiel took this as a sign of rejection and threw her gaze to the opposite side of where he was facing. She pursed her lips momentarily before pulling her bottom lip into her mouth. Her heartache physically manifested in the form of making her eyes glassy, yet she refused to let him see her cry. Especially not over this. In the blink of an eye, her face hardened, taking on an expression that reminded him too much of how she looked the first time they met. In Anna's words still, like a marble statue. She removed her hand from his own, her eyes lingering behind him for a moment. To get her next statement across, Castiel looked back up to Dean and stared him straight in the eye. "You've made your choice, and I will honor it." Turning about, Cas began walking towards where Sam had left. “We have a job to do.” She stated in a monotone voice that wasn’t like her anymore.

Dean reached out for her, but pulled his hand back quickly. She was already out the door before he could even blink. He balled his hand into a fist before reopening it and rubbing it down his face. A sigh of disappointment and irritation came from him, yet neither were because of her. He wished she could see he was trying to protect her from him. He was bad luck and he didn't want her to be a casualty of that luck. One day he’d tell her, even after all of this. He'd tell her the truth. But for now, he’d remember this moment for the rest of his days. Because this was the moment when Dean Winchester had a chance at a happy ending, and threw it away because he was a coward.

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_Present Time_

He shouldn’t have waited. He should’ve told her when he had the chance. He should’ve pulled her close and held her to his heart so he could still feel her’s beating in time with his. He should’ve just grown a pair and owned up to all of this like a man. But now…..

Dean fell to his knees beside her body with his head upturned towards the Heavens, the dark scorch marks that had been her wings burned into the sand below them. Her eyes were closed and her chest did not rise or fall. She was still. So still. Still and pale, like a marble statue. Dean knew he had water in his eyes. He knew he was crying. In the matter of a few minutes, he lost a friend, his mother, and the one person he loved more than life itself. After tearing his eyes away from the sky, he looked to her face, lower lip trembling. Gingerly, as if she were to dissolve into pieces, he slid his arms under her. His left moved under her arm, pushing sand as he moved his hand to cradle her head. His right wrapped around her bleeding torso and under her other arm. He lifted her slowly, her body feeling like titanium weights in his grasp while her hair cascaded down his arm like a dark waterfall. Sand littered her black curls, making her hair look like the night sky. So beautiful. So gone. The tears that had fallen from his cheeks fell to her face, rolling off as rapidly as they had fallen.

“Cas?” He asked shakily. His own voice would’ve sounded pathetic to him if he heard it from anyone else, but he could give a rat’s ass about how he sounded right now. He pulled her tight against his chest which was trying to hold back his outright sobs. “Cas, please.” He pleaded. When her shimmering eyes didn’t open, he broke. His sobs rattled out of his chest and throat with no restrictions. He pressed her forehead to his cheek, his lips barely brushing her skin. He had wanted to call out, but he only mouthed words such as no, please, and her name. A sense of thought returned to him just briefly and all his self respect flew out the window. Looking back up to the sky, he called out his prayer.

“Chuck? Chuck, please. Please. I can’t….” His voice broke off with another sob. “I need her. Please. Chuck? Please.” He begged to a silent God whom he knew wasn’t there, wasn’t even listening. He squeezed his eyes shut and lowered his head in defeat. With trembling lips and heavy tears showing no signs of stopping, Dean looked to the face of his angel. “I’m sorry.” He muttered, holding her tighter as his body swayed back and forth in a slow rhythm. “I-” His voice cracked. He was trying so hard to get the words out, even now. The sight of her like this….he couldn’t. He had seen so many gruesome things in his time, but nothing….nothing compared to this. His happiness. His light. All gone in a single burst of light and burned feathers in the sand.

_“I love you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SCREAMING AND SOBBING GROSSLY INTO THE SUNSET* I'M SO SORRY TO DO THIS TO ALL OF YOU  
> MY SOUL HURTS WTF IS WRONG WITH ME  
> I'M SORRY

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just the opening one-shot. The others will be longer, yes, but we all have to start somewhere.


End file.
